The Gym - oh god please don’t make me do it

[Wellnowlookhere]

I’m nearly 50 and need to join a gym. Years ago I was quite happy going to gyms and never felt I stood out, but now, just going into one and seeing the people who clearly use it regularly being all ripped and 30 years old standing about the place is just too confronting for me. It’s not even one of those young person gyms, all painted black and moody but with horrendous overhead lighting for maximum unflatteringness unless you’re 25. No, it was (I thought) a bit more spit and sawdust old-school type gym full of blokes wearing belts etc. Great, I thought, I won’t feel ridiculous there because they’re just getting on with their workouts. But no, I have now bottled it not once but twice when I’ve gone to join, having seen several hot-pant and crop top clad women, which kudos to them, but results in me feeling really quite old and stupid, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I need to, any muscle tone I DID have has packed up and gone along with my collagen and oestrogen, and I need to lift actual weights - body weight exercises just don’t do it for me, god knows I’ve tried those outdoor military fitness classes and HIIT classes and all I wanted to do was vomit and then punch the instructor for shouting so much - I’ve tried over the years. I did reformer Pilates for over a year and it’s great for flexibility and I never felt uncomfortable but it’s so expensive I nearly had to sell a kidney and alas, once again I got bored after a while. So I jacked that in and kept the kidney but now I am getting more flubbery by the day. I have to do it but I JUST CAN’T.
Apologies for this bonkers stream of consciousness.

Why so snippy? I was merely responding to you saying that OP was making excuses. You hadn’t offered any suggestions just bounced in to say how muscular you are.

I would disagree with some posters though that walking or golf are enough. We lose muscle mass when we age, actually start losing it from our 30s already and the only way to keep or increase it is resistance training.
OP you can do it! I go to 2 different gyms and both have people in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and I'm pretty sure a number of people are in their 80s. Who wears sweatpants, who is in a tiny bra, nobody cares really.

Agree. Why do you have to join a gym OP? I'm 69 and never joined a gym in my life. I swim when I can, and walk a fair bit. To be honest (apart from the cool cats in their crop tops) I couldn't bear the thought of everyone else's sweat on the equipment. Yuk! Makes me think of school PE lessons and that awful lingering smell in the hall.

I’m 62 and I’ve just joined a gym. I love it! No one looks at me (or if they do, they’re smiling at me). I just get on with what I want to do. Ours has got a separate ladies area though so I don’t have to look at sweaty bodybuilder types.

I’m 56 and just got back from the gym…i just don’t wear my glasses so everything is a blur anyway! I do my little workout which was devised by a Personal Trainer (paying for a few sessions with a PT was such a great investment as it gave me a bit more confidence and a plan to follow). I go to a cheap and cheerful gym and, honestly, no-one takes the slightest notice of anyone else…everyone is just doing their own thing. I always feel really good after i have been and strength training is so important for bone and muscle strength and health in old age!

Can you go during the day? I mostly go at about 10/11 am and it’s mostly retired people and a much different atmosphere to evening sessions.

I joined a council gym at 42, 15 stone and extremely unfit. Week 1 was the hardest, clueless and embarrassed as a newbie. Week 2, I was getting a feel for the machines and weights and by Week 3, I felt comfortable. Just to say the first week is the toughest.

Only if we don't do anything about that muscle tone loss; it isn't inevitable.

This is a good suggestion - I don't want to be that evangelical person that thinks the solution that works for them is the one for everyone, but I've been transformed from a lifelong gym refuser to an advocate by joining a (very) small independent gym and doing free weights/body weight exercise classes - my gym is tiny, just a glorified studio really, and there's a huge range of people go there, some superbuff 20-30 somethings but because it's a pretty basic/scruffy set up the selfie loving types generally prefer the bigger more commercial gyms, there's some very serious lifters (men and women) who do big weights but they're honestly all very nice/welcoming people who don't at all mind beginners in their space, I find them inspiring more than anything else, they're not highly sculpted super lean insta-lifters, some of them look frankly pretty ordinary/ scruffy or even overweight at first glance, many are in their 40s/50s or even older but what they can do is incredible. And the majority of people are honestly just very average/regular people, all ages and sizes and abilities. And the classes are great because you get the support and motivation of a PT without the cost or intensity of one to one sessions and I find it nice/motivating to be in a group - someone mentioned about people wanting to be best buddies with the teacher and that is annoying (one woman at my place demands an entire personalised routine every time as whatever the PT sets for the group nevers fits her various injury requirements despite it always already having flex to fit your ability, and 'needs' him to watch/spot everything, she should just pay for a private session IMO). But you can generally work out which sessions/ PTs attract these types and which don't, there's usually a pattern...

That’s true, but it really does take a lot of work to stop the natural ageing process. And is that a good aim?

What about small group personal training? These small class-only gyms are popping up all over the place, and most focus exclusively on strength training- lots of weights involved and most of the clients are women over 40 - some of the gyms specifically target to this demographic. Only thing is they’re fairly pricey but I’d check them out anyway

yes, yes it is. It's great to be fit and strong.

Have you asked to see around local gyms? I go to pure gym and most ladies in the classes i go to are 50 plus. Nobody wears tiny shorts and tiny crop tops.

it doesn’t take much to maintain muscle mass. It’s building new muscle that takes the work.

I joined the gym the next town over, it’s a local authority one. It’s small and I am often the youngest one in (51). I think you need to find one that is no frills and bans all photography/filming as puts the influencer ones off.

OP, a really good pair of headphones and a clear idea of what you want to do when you get there is (imo) the only way to start. I started about a year ago and was so intimidated by everyone. I am mid 30s but wear a baggy gym t-shirt and leggings. I honestly couldn't tell you what anyone who goes to my gym(s) looks like.
I joined my local leisure centre gym and it's part of a chain so can use any one.

You really don’t HAVE to join a gym if you will find excuses not to go, the most effective exercise is one you will stick at.
Getting yourself some weights to use at home in conjunction with a YouTube video, using an online PT, an in person PT, going to classes, finding a walking group, joining a tennis club, swimming in a lake, going to a bowls club, loads of options.
i’m 40 and go to the gym with my son, to be honest it’s brilliant, he’s strong and encourages me to work that bit harder every time we go. I go on my own sometimes too but it’s more fun going with him.
We do a bit of cardio to warm up and then move on to weights. Never really sure what to do on the mats so have been watching people for inspiration and might have a go next time (maybe the time after that 😂).
I’m slowly becoming stronger and I’m developing muscles - it’s quite addictive. I wear leggings and a shirt, there is a huge range of ages and clothes where I go, it’s so brilliant to see that it’s not just wall to wall 20 year olds and that people in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond are invested in their health - and good for my son to see it’s not just a fad but an investment in long term fitness and strength.
I also do reformer Pilates at a little local studio and swimming in a nearby lake which have all been so beneficial for me overall.
You don’t have to join a gym if you don’t want to but they are pretty welcoming places. I’m invisible at mine - perfect!

You don’t need a gym. Plenty of online workouts and kettlebells are great. Walking is also the most underrated exercise! I do mat Pilates - much cheaper than reformer.

This could be me! Love the classes, everyone my age and all the 17 year olds hang out by the equipment I very much don't enjoy using

This could be me! Love the classes, everyone my age and all the 17 year olds hang out by the equipment I very much don't enjoy usingl

I go to a Nuffield health gym and do lots of the yoga type classes there, most of the women in the classes are older (and fitter) than me. It’s quite a nice community but I’m definitely in the minority being in my 30s. I would recommend! I never feel self conscious and they turn the lights off for yoga anyway.

So you are too mature to care about such things but still snigger at other people

I go to a local authority gym and it’s got a very wide range of ages using it, with a large proportion of pensioners during the day. I’m a similar age to you and I’m often one of the youngest people in there!

Maybe have a look around a few different gyms to see if another one looks less intimidating? Although most people will be too busy with their own workouts to pay much attention to what you’re doing.

Classes don’t suit me as I find I compare myself to other people and get either demoralised or competitive. I’ve weights at home which I’d occasionally pick up while the kettle was boiling, and I’d half-heartedly go to the gym on random days, having only half a clue what to do. So I now have a PT who’s the same age as me, and I now have a programme and proper techniques. Paid up front, for eight sessions, and it’s made me more accountable and confident. If you’ve a bit of cash to spare, it’s worth considering.

Find work out or dance videos on youtube and have private workouts in your home?