The Gym - oh god please don’t make me do it

[Wellnowlookhere]

I’m nearly 50 and need to join a gym. Years ago I was quite happy going to gyms and never felt I stood out, but now, just going into one and seeing the people who clearly use it regularly being all ripped and 30 years old standing about the place is just too confronting for me. It’s not even one of those young person gyms, all painted black and moody but with horrendous overhead lighting for maximum unflatteringness unless you’re 25. No, it was (I thought) a bit more spit and sawdust old-school type gym full of blokes wearing belts etc. Great, I thought, I won’t feel ridiculous there because they’re just getting on with their workouts. But no, I have now bottled it not once but twice when I’ve gone to join, having seen several hot-pant and crop top clad women, which kudos to them, but results in me feeling really quite old and stupid, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I need to, any muscle tone I DID have has packed up and gone along with my collagen and oestrogen, and I need to lift actual weights - body weight exercises just don’t do it for me, god knows I’ve tried those outdoor military fitness classes and HIIT classes and all I wanted to do was vomit and then punch the instructor for shouting so much - I’ve tried over the years. I did reformer Pilates for over a year and it’s great for flexibility and I never felt uncomfortable but it’s so expensive I nearly had to sell a kidney and alas, once again I got bored after a while. So I jacked that in and kept the kidney but now I am getting more flubbery by the day. I have to do it but I JUST CAN’T.
Apologies for this bonkers stream of consciousness.

I've been going for two years. I'm nearly 66. It's taking me time to make progress, but it's there.

I find that everyone at the gym is overwhelmingly positive. There are all shapes and sizes (including the very fit gym bunnies).

Any time I've been stuck on how to use the apparatus, there's always someone who offers to help - not only staff.

I still have a humungous stomach, but I swear that I saw arm muscles earlier.

My leggings cover a multitude of sins. I started off with those and baggy t-shirts. I'm now wearing those long-line Matalan tops. You still see my stomach when I'm using the leg machines, but I don't care.

If your gym runs something like senior flex classes, I recommend them - at my gym there are people in the classes from 50 to 80 plus.

I'm nearly your age and I also hate gyms. But gyms are not the only place to exercise. The most important thing with exercise is to:

1. Find something you enjoy.
2. Do it.

It doesn't have to be in a room that you pay probably £40 a month to enter with unflattering lighting and sweaty men.

I run having followed couch to 5K years ago. You can still do it at your age. Just get yourself a good sports bra and some trainers. The programme is available free on various podcasts nowadays including BBC sounds (I did it c. 18 years ago so had to use the stopwatch timer on my watch!) The first sessions are so easy if you can walk you can do them and it builds up very slowly. If you find one week too much, just repeat it till it feels more comfortable.

Another tip is I do online workouts. Fitnessblender used to be totally free, again, I've been using them for 10 years maybe? About 600+ of their workouts are free. You can search by style etc.

Fitness Blender

I do a lot of strength training videos with them. To start with if you want weights just use water bottles then as you need heavier weights you can buy them (Aldi and Lidl often have some, I think Lidl might have some light ones in now.)

Then there are lower impact things, e.g. rambling groups but also walking alone. We're coming into a great season for long walks.

For me, getting into exercise was finding my "why". To start with when my son was little, my why was to get some time to myself and force my (then) husband to step tfu and actually look after him for 30 minutes. Now it's more about making sure I can age healthily (more than about looking good). I listened to a podcast once where they were talking about how if you want to be still walking 5 miles in your 70s, you probably need to be running or walking much longer distances now because your mobility and fitness will inevitably decline. Same with if you want to be playing on the floor with grandkids, some of those leg and arm strengthening exercises now will give you the muscle to retain that mobility. So that's my "why" nowadays.

Or perhaps it's just this cartoon lol... 😂

Everyone makes judgements about everyone else; it’s human nature and nothing wrong with it. It is fine to think bum scrunch leggings look ridiculous but not fine to openly point and laugh or make remarks.

I’m sure you consider yourself completely non-judgemental but you are openly judging @FictionalCharacter
Pot, kettle?

@Lemonthyme oh the duck on the right is definitely me! I’ve started using a set of weights DH bought that you screw different ones onto dumbbells. I made my own routine which is a pick n mix from Caroline Girvin videos and some yoga stretches. I work from home so it’s easy for me to do in the morning (except when the kids are on school holidays). I would never in a million years go to the gym but my mum had osteoporosis so I want to do something to stave that off - and I enjoy it so I think I’ll keep it up.

Dont worry, the great thing being a 50+ woman is that we are completely invisible and no longer give a @%£# 😅

Is there a Curves gym near you OP? It’s women only and you follow a 30 minute circuit that focuses on strength training using specialist machines.

I needed to join a gym. I cant walk, cycle, jog or anything (stroke and MS). My one is fulla women over my age (53). Tons of them!!

I used to work out with my son in the same room as me when he was little. I just used to follow the workout on my phone. It did him good to see his Mum is active IMO.

Just following on from @TheNameWasOnceChosen post. Is it worth talking to your gym (if you do want to go for that option) about what times of the day and week often have older people in? Depends if you work full time of course but I bet there are certain times, e.g. 7pm on a Monday that's full of gym bunnies and muscle bound idiots and, 6pm on a Friday night or 1pm on a Tuesday that perhaps is not.

Book a pt session to set you up with a workout and show you what to do. Really helps. Or if there is a lifting class try that - I went to one in a uni worked at and it was not intimidating at all, really nice, wish I could find one now! You really just have to get over it and know that they are thinking about themselves, not you. Perhaps you are using it as an excuse as you don’t really want to go but feel you need to. I gave myself permission to leave after 5 mins, I just had to turn up. Until I was comfy. I also wear earphones to discourage people talking to me. But they don’t!

Yeah i do. I go every day at 9am can always find something to do, aqua or body blast or maybe just the gym! Wouldn't ever go after 3pm!!

There’s a pretty even spread of ages and body shapes among the women at the (council run) gym I go to - I’m early seventies and not the oldest. No one cares what anyone else looks like. They know that everyone is there for their fitness and health.

You literally couldn’t move in my gym changing room for middle aged and older women this morning.

And also, I don’t know how to say this kindly, get over yourself. None of the vastly overstated, slightly hysterical stereotypes people you describe could care less about you or what you look like. In fact most of the super fit people have been some of the most welcoming to me (I’m 58). I had a chat with a hyrox world record holder yesterday. She’s lovely though she looks fierce. She’s just a person like you.

Just get on with it.

It’s an excellent aim. It’s my only aim. To have a fit, healthy, strong, active older age. I’ve already completely reversed the pain of arthritic knees by strength training. I intend to keep going for as long as I can because I want to be active for as long as I can.

I joined the local (and very convenient) David Lloyd, just for the pool. I was offered a free personal trainer session but told them no thanks, I’d run a mile. TBH I thought the place would be swarming with super-slim youth, but in fact in the changing room I see quite a few who are neither young nor slim. Some are even older than me, which is saying something! - and decidedly fatter!

I’m sure a trial period - if they offer such a thing - would ease your mind.

There will always be people who are fitter/slimmer/younger/better looking than oneself. It’s not a good reason not to do something that is excellent for your health. I teach fitness classes and many of my participants look better in their Lycra than I do. I think ‘good for you’ and then crack on with showing them how to do push-ups properly.

My knee osteoarthritis was diagnosed well over twenty years ago and I’ve managed it successfully through working on leg strength and general fitness - finally, it’s bad enough to have replacement surgery scheduled, but it just shows how effective targeted exercise can be.

@Wellnowlookhere I love your bonkers stream of consciousness!! Joking aside, I feel you. It's tough being a 50something woman in the gym, but you have as much right to be there as anybody else. Deep breath, walk in. Work out for 5 minutes, then leave. Build it up from there....

but do use a PT or at least ChatGPT to make you a program. You will feel a lot more confident if you have concrete steps to follow and are not hanging around the gym doing random exercises.

Strength training has changed my life. I’ve gone from struggling to to get down the stairs to box jumping, lifting weights, running, all sorts.

I hope your op goes well and you can get back and active soon.

I hate the gym because they are too loud and busy. I have some weights at home I do, also bought a spin bike off ebay in lockdown and do some indoor cycling. Luckily we have a large basement and it just goes in there. I then do hill walks from home.

In my 60s and had a PT and done independent classes in the past. I've also done workouts at home with my own weights following YouTube videos. I joined a gym last year - it's very inclusive and no posey vibes. Lots of people my age. I used to do my own thing in the gym (the PT sessions gave me confidence to do this) and soon realised everyone was too interested in doing their own thing (and/or had earphones on) to care about what I was doing. I now mostly do classes and really enjoy them and don't feel old at all - lots of people not far off my age. I think it's a question of finding the right gym for you and realising that people don't care too much about what you're doing.

Totally agree with 'just get on with it'!

So many women say they felt intimidated walking into a gym because 'everyone looked at them '. When you're new in a gym, everyone glances at you because they haven't seen you before - after that they just continue with their workout. Most gym goers are so absorbed in their routine they don't care about anyone else.

I love this about the gym, I get in the zone with the music and enjoy the burn. I'm a 50-something woman with a whole host of health problems, don't look for excuses OP 🫀

I’m also 49 and go to my local authority gym. I do classes every morning (6.15/6.30) which are either spin or circuit. Generally 12-16 people are in the classes and it’s very much the same people at that time, ranging from 35-70 in age. Evenings are a totally different crowd, I much prefer the mornings.

Yes. I tell myself to just get on with it because I am an Olympic standard procrastinator. I can talk myself out of a workout like a pro.

You just have to get in the habit and just do it without thinking.

So yes @Wellnowlookhere JFDI