The Gym - oh god please don’t make me do it

[Wellnowlookhere]

I’m nearly 50 and need to join a gym. Years ago I was quite happy going to gyms and never felt I stood out, but now, just going into one and seeing the people who clearly use it regularly being all ripped and 30 years old standing about the place is just too confronting for me. It’s not even one of those young person gyms, all painted black and moody but with horrendous overhead lighting for maximum unflatteringness unless you’re 25. No, it was (I thought) a bit more spit and sawdust old-school type gym full of blokes wearing belts etc. Great, I thought, I won’t feel ridiculous there because they’re just getting on with their workouts. But no, I have now bottled it not once but twice when I’ve gone to join, having seen several hot-pant and crop top clad women, which kudos to them, but results in me feeling really quite old and stupid, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know I need to, any muscle tone I DID have has packed up and gone along with my collagen and oestrogen, and I need to lift actual weights - body weight exercises just don’t do it for me, god knows I’ve tried those outdoor military fitness classes and HIIT classes and all I wanted to do was vomit and then punch the instructor for shouting so much - I’ve tried over the years. I did reformer Pilates for over a year and it’s great for flexibility and I never felt uncomfortable but it’s so expensive I nearly had to sell a kidney and alas, once again I got bored after a while. So I jacked that in and kept the kidney but now I am getting more flubbery by the day. I have to do it but I JUST CAN’T.
Apologies for this bonkers stream of consciousness.

I also pricked my ears up at the walking boot camp, I love walking so that’s a start.
The Local Authority gym is something I thought of on the way home from my unsuccessful sign-up today. It’s a good suggestion, my local one is bigger and I reckon I’d get lost in amongst other people which is fine by me.

I find the classes at our gym make me hide at the back away from the ones who line their mats up with the instructor and declare themselves besties. It is like being at school sucking up to the teacher.

But I find solace in the actual.gym on equipment. Ear buds in, crack on with cardio, weights and mat work.

There's lots of you tube/apps. Or get a few sessions with a PT to do you a programme.

No-one cares! It's a gym, not the catwalk! Everybody will be so wrapped up in themselves and their exercise.

If the gym fills you with so much dread, just go for a walk instead. Exercising outside is so much better (in my opinion!).

Older than you and feel your pain. The normal gym makes me feel like an old frump and an old fart - quite literally exercising makes me fart and leak a bit, and I don't understand the music and it's too loud and I hate the smell and seeing my belly in the mirrors next to the flat tummy folk makes me sad.

I have invested in a personal trainer who comes to my house every fortnight with kit and gives me a good hard workout and instructions, and between that I run about 3 times and do strength stuff off the TV about 3 times.

Before that I was treated to a 6-week trial at an expensive place that does small group sessions for laydees of a certain age (not how they express it) which was absolutely lovely but I need to win the lottery before I can go back there.

I’m 51 and I’m ripped. Women half my age comment on my arms and how much I can lift. Age is no excuse!

Oh, put your big girl pants on woman and get back to the gym!!! Stop making feeble excuses. Plenty of people your age and older are going to the gym. Be glad you have got your health and opportunity to go to the gym, there’s a lot who don’t.
Stop worrying what other people think about you. They’re probably not giving you a second thought as they’re busy working towards their own goals.
You live once and life is too short to worry about something like this which is mostly in your head.

I'm 50 and go to the local council run gym. It's a real mix of ages and body shapes as they do GP referrals, and rehabilitation stuff for people who've been ill. I've never felt out of place, or felt like anyone is looking or judging me.

It sounds cliche, but honestly, no one is looking at you at all. No one cares about who else is in the gym, everyone is just focused on doing their workout and leaving. Just get some wireless earphones, put on your favourite music and just go. You’ll be glad when you do 😊

My gym’s app tells me how many people are there so I can avoid when it’s too “peopley” but generally the more I go the less I care. I am full of admiration for the women in there lifting heavy weights and just go and do my thing (when i’m not finding excuses not to go at all).

I started with an online bootcamp with Henley Fitness to get me going and now use Hevy app to track my workouts and routines. Headphones on and don’t speak to anyone other than DH if he happens to join me!

Yeah, no, I definitely wasn’t saying age is an excuse not to be ripped, and that is fantastic for you, genuinely. It’s just that I think I hate gyms, and probably gym culture, I think. It makes me feel old.

I think gym culture is shifting though - there were as many women as men in the gym at lunchtime today and a huge mix of ages and shapes and sizes. It’s not exclusively for the ripped and shredded anymore!

🫡 😆
yes you’re quite right. And also you would be great running a boot camp! You’d have people whipped into shape in no time I suspect 😁

I think the main thing to remember is no one cares. No one is looking at you going 'LOL, look at that old trout'. I am a lumpy middle aged woman in my battered faded gym gear and honestly I've never detected the slightest hint of disapproval or attitude from the many beautiful young gym bunnies that go there in their skin tight gear. Let them enjoy being young and gorgeous, because honestly they're not caring who else is at the gym (unless it's a hot young guy, perhaps) 🙂

I'm 72 and lift weights at our local gym. There is a wide age and size range. None of those who dress like they're going to the beach even notice me, I'm just not part of their world, and that's fine. I put my music on and do my own thing, it's very liberating.

Hmmm…that’s interesting. Maybe I just went in at a bad time.
Maybe 11am is more my vibe.

@Wellnowlookhere - could you book a few sessions with a personal trainer, to get you started off at home, until you get to a level of fitness where you are happier to go to the gym?

It's the wrong gym for you.
I'm 68 and joined the local council gym. They do an introductory special for over 65s so at the time I go they are all old folks, no ripped muscles or lycra in sight.
Having said that I hate gyms with a passion and I'm only doing it because I have to.
I hate the noise most of all and wear noise cancelling headphones. It seems everyone else does because they all have headphones on but my request for volume down or quiet sessions were denied.

I don’t think OP is making excuses, she’s expressing her discomfort.
It is widely known that we lose muscle tone as we get older, alongside changes is fat distribution and metabolism.

Council leisure centres have a much more varied demographic, if you have one near you.

Those women won't be looking at you though. Or they might think that oh I hope I can also still go to gym when I'm 50. And, if you want to, of course you can also be one of those shredded women in tiny top and shorts. Does require going to the gym though...

I agree though that gyms are different and some just have a vibe that doesn't click with me. If that's the case, try another.

I'm 54 and one of the youngest at my gym. I go to the classes primarily and they are generally all women and all over 40. I'm actually quite full of admiration for the lone man who shows up. Perhaps try some classes OP ? Our gym is very friendly and no-one is competitive ( or wears a cropped top). Have you tried googling over 50s gym classes ? In my rural Lincolnshire village ( population 3.5k) we have 4 gyms ( including one women only), 2 pilates' studios and a yoga studio. Plus more options in our nearest town. But you have to look for them as they are sometimes on industrial estates ( 2 of ours are) and not immediately obvious to find.

I am 50 and go to a small Hyrox gym. It’s full of young very fit people - I think I am one of the oldest there! But I love it, love the classes (I’m definitely the slowest but the support is fab) and there are certain times either first thing or later on in the evening I go to use the gym and it’s very quiet which suits me. Maybe go to a few different gyms to get a feel for it, most would offer a free trial. And I would recommend a few PT sessions to get your confidence up. It can feel intimidating to walk in and do your thing when everyone looks so confident and fit but I am sure no one is looking. Strength training is definitely a thing for our age. Ask ChatGPT to do you a programme so you can walk in with confidence and look like you know what you are doing.

So wear leggings and long sleeves? But no one is looking and if she works hard she too can develop muscle tone.

It’s so worth trying to overcome the initial uncomfortableness and find a good program and routine. I am 47 and get so hot and sweaty and red, totally not the gym bunny vibe. But no one else seems to really notice and the positive effects on my mental and physical health are worth all the effort. I wasn’t really a gym person til I started going lol, and now really miss it if I can’t get there.

Swimming and now it’s nicer weather then cycling … see if you can find a nice cycling group …. I found one on the app Nextdoor and we had a nice group of 40-75 year olds who go out now for regular cycles and a stop for coffee and a cake sometimes too!