ND people (and small people) are still people (also applies to the childhood/teenage/young adult stage).
We can be lovely, lovely but annoying, less lovely but not annoying, really unlovely, just deeply annoying, or fucking horrible.
In my ADHD group (obviously self selecting, nobody gets ordered to go there) the majority of us are somewhere on the lovely-lovely but annoying scale. Depending on how we are doing that day. Most of us have had a “deeply annoying” day, or period of time, in our lives. But it’s not where most of us sit, most of the time.
However, some members are utter cunts. They bully, they blame everyone in the universe (and the universe) but themselves, are under the impression the world ought to to bend itself around their “needs” (regardless of any needs the rest of the world may have) and think the rest of us (including those of us with the same ND condition) just need to suck up their “dysregulation” regardless of the current status of our own regulation and well-being. Not all of them are on the younger side, and not all the younger ones are in that slice of membership. But it does lean younger. Attitudes towards ND conditions, as they came up through the education systems, may play a part in how they ended up in that slice.
PEOPLE are/have ND conditions. Conditions do not walk around in a skin suit, so amazingly enough those of us with ND conditions are very diverse. In terms of personality, character, upbringing, embracing self improvement, willingness to shape our lives ourselves in order to live better without treading on other people ….all the things everybody does regardless of their own personal “life rain” and crap cards in the hand they were dealt by nature and nurture.
There has to be a point where actions that self harm or harm others (emotionally, mentally & physically) need to be managed for their own sake, not wafted away as a symptom that must be tolerated no matter the cost to the collateral damage, who are also humans with wants and needs.
I don’t think anybody benefits from the current system of forcing square pegs into round holes, and then telling all the other pegs that, no matter the flying splinters they get hit by, they should keep prioritising a condition over their own well being, stability and safety.
Not all square pegs fit tidily into a fairly standard square hole either. Some square pegs might be hexagons, octagons or very Picasso inspired upon closer inspection beyond the original diagnosis. Which might mean a few need a very personalised hole, depending on their needs and the desire to reduce any unintended collateral damage for other people. (large or tiny)