Will you provide regular childcare for your grandchildren?

[GranparentChildcare]

For those of you that have kids.
Are you going to provide regular child care on a regular basis for your grand children.

Yes, if they want me to. I had my children fairly young so should hopefully be fit and well, and I’ll almost certainly be retired by then. It’s something I would love to do.

I’m hoping my children choose not to have children or at best have only 1. Currently I wouldn’t want to get involved in regular childcare so odd days/nights ok but my plans like a previous poster are to go overseas for the winter months.

In any event having seen posts on here I’m determined to do what is fair, I think if 1 child has children and you’re doing regular childcare it can get difficult if the other needs support. I certainly think it’s dangerous to get into a pattern.

I’m finding my young children exhausting at age 36 so god knows how I’ll find childcare in 30 years time! That said, I would definitely want to do as much as my health would allow me - both to help my kids but also to have that precious time with grandkids.

My mum is wonderful with my kids , they absolutely adore her and she has told my sister and I that she thinks she loves the grandchildren even more than she loves us! It’s beautiful to see.

Ah, fair enough. My DH is South Asian so I do know that the culture can put a lot of demands on family. Having said that, I also know quite a lot of South Asian families here in the UK doing things on their own terms - including a close friend who has recently welcomed her first grandchild and seems to be managing to achieve a good balance between being an involved and helpful granny and having her own life with healthy boundaries! Maybe this generation has learnt from previous ones?!

Yes, as much as I can. For me, that thought came as part of caring for my children when I became a mum. We don't have family close by and have zero family help day to day, and it's been so hard. I want to give as much help to my children if they ever become parents so they're not in the same situation.

I’m a far way off grandchildren but if my sons have children and I’m in the position to do so I’ll help as much as they need me to!

Do the people saying ‘no absolutely not ever’ not care that they will end up on the periphery of family as they age? Never really being involved, or cared for, by their grandchildren? Never really being anything other than a distant person who they have to give a shit about because they’re ‘related’? Only visiting you because they have to. I’m not talking about the people who will still be working, but the ones who just can’t be arsed.

I can’t imagine this. My family, and my husbands too, look after one another. My sister and I both took turns in providing our Grandparents with care before they died. Taking them out for the day, restaurants at night, to hospital appointments, bringing them to our homes to spend time with other family members. They provided us with care and love as though they were our own parents from being babies. My husbands family are the same. Not one member of mine or my husbands family have had a child in paid childcare and we have all worked full time. In return for that they will be looked after, loved and cared for, when they need it in their old age without question.

Yes if I remain in good health and can afford to help I will. I have two very young sons who my parents have one day a week, and my MIL used to travel to stay with us for half the week when we were in a bit of a bind with nursery. I've got a long way to go obviously 🤣

Nope. I never had grandparents, and my own dc's grandparents died young/ lived overseas. So grandparents have never been a feature in my family's life.

Where did OP go?

This is one of those goady threads with a specifically named original poster who replies once and then fucks off.

I work full time but have dgc most Saturday or Sundays so dd can work (dgc go to school/childminder in the week).
We live an hour away so not too far and I love having them.

We take the whole family out for lunch every 6 weeks..oh and pay for all extra curricular activities. Oh and stamp duty on their house. So yes youre right...they do love us 😀

Yes if I can. But regular small amounts eg a post school/ nursery pick up, couple of days pw

I would love to when my girls have children. Unfortunately we didn’t have any help from our parents when our kids were born, and now they’re older they don’t have close relationships with any of their grandparents and that saddens me. I will try and be there and provide as much help as they need. I really struggled when mine were small and it was very isolating and upsetting not to have any grandparent support.

Rubbish!
Why would I be on the peripheral of my family just because I choose to have a life and not look after GC?
It's not a all or nothing situation and if my children wanted to guilt me because I won't do their job for them, then I have done an awful job as their parent.

Also I fully expect to be taking care of my mum in the future. Not a cultural obligation, I want to. Despite not providing regular childcare, she is a great grandmum.

I’m a gran in early 50s and still work full time but cover pick ups and drop offs at the child minder and occasional days in holidays where needed and possible. Since my grandchild became a toddler, I asked if I could take him every Friday night for a sleepover - more for my benefit than anything as he’s a joy. Mum and dad pick him up around 1pm on a Saturday. It’s the highlight of my week!

If either of my adult DD's have them I would definitely.

My Mum and Dad did for me and I was extremely grateful for the help and to have the occasional break. Plus my DD's grew up loving going to their grandparents house and have many happy memories with Nanny and Grandad and they had very strong loving relationships because of that time they had together on their own with them. So it was good for all of us.

In return for that they will be looked after, loved and cared for, when they need it in their old age without question.

Ah, so comes with strings attached then.

Absolutely not, I am counting down to my own freedom from child raising commitments and being a slave to the office. When I retire it will be the only time in life I can live for myself, so shan’t be offering any type of commitment. Emergencies, random request; probably

Depends on how old i am. I was 39 when I had DS, so if he does the same I would be late 70s.
All being well, yes I would but only a day a week, plus babysitting and emergencies.

I wish! My DS lives 2.5 hours away so 'drop off a hat' babysitting is out. I also have MS and a Stroke so moving isn't easy for me. I go up once or twice a month but they never go out (their friends are all down in London) so I dont have their DC alone.

Completely agree. When I can finally retire, work isn’t going to be replaced with looking after young kids. To me the point of retirement will be to do what I want, when I want.

Good morning.
I fell asleep 😴.

No, it’s called family. We all look after each other, any time, anywhere for any reason. It’s not transactional. It certainly didn’t feel that way when my granddad died, with me next to him, in the room I set up for him, remembering all the times he’d looked after me and my sister as children. They’re not ‘strings attached’, they’re emotional connections.