What is your biggest wedding regret?

[TeaAndSymumthy]

Trying to gather some information on what people regretted most about their weddings (excluding maybe who they married 🤣)

things like, not hiring a videographer, over spending, uncomfortable dress, venue?

what did you regret about your wedding?

Bil kids ruined our day!

I really didn't like my dress, I should have tried more on and not taken "yes' people only with me when looking.
Also, scrimping on the Photograher and not paying enough attention to their style and what we wanted/what was important to us.
I have very very few photos of the day I actually like and it makes me sad.

The weather. Fucking pissed it down all day.

I really didn't like my dress, I should have tried more on and not taken "yes' people only with me when looking.
Also, scrimping on the Photograher and not paying enough attention to their style and what we wanted/what was important to us.
I have very very few photos of the day I actually like and it makes me sad.m

I didn't and regretted it. Some of the behaviour was appalling. DNiece (and SIL) should NEVER have been invited. Bored children are no fun.

Also, should have paid for help to clear up the next morning (we hired a chateau for the weekend) instead of my husband and I getting up early the next day, to clean up before the guests woke.

We had a lovely wedding - quite unique with lots of creative touches that were very DH & I. We still get compliments on what a great day it was.

BUT - only I know how much time and energy I put into pleasing my mum & my dad. They are divorced. Both contributed money for the day and both had strong expectations. I suspect they would be absolutely mortified if they realised how much stress I put myself through trying to create a wedding day that would satisfy their expectations.

I am much much less of a people pleaser now.

Also ☝️ I wouldn’t have had my sisters as bridesmaids. They were such arseholes, from beginning to end, whinged constantly, made everything about themselves, gave the make up artist the run around (putting it mildly!), slagged off my friends and my new in laws… I could go on all day. I don’t know why I thought it would be different really. Just go with the people who actually give a shit about you and who make you feel good, basically. I have such great friends, it could’ve been so different!

Not fucking off the whole thing and eloping.

Neither of us wanted a big wedding, but we got pressured by family. We were 18/19, so we do both look really good in our wedding pictures which we probably wouldn’t have if we eloped, so that’s a plus. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good fun day but I would have preferred to elope and then have a big party at the pub when we got back. I will be telling my children to elope if they wish, I don’t mind.

I wish I'd managed to get thinner. I just couldn't do it and although we had a great day, I knew I'd loathe looking at the photos and I do.

Talking of photos, the one we booked broke her foot 3 days before. She offered us two options of someone to cover. One she recommended v highly but that person could only do the daytime, not first dance etc. The other was a professional but not personally known. She could stay till after the first dance. I went with her and really regret it. Most of the photos are absolutely crap. Our original lady felt bad and spent ages editing them (there was a blueish cast on all the outdoor ones for a start) but I still hate most of them. Combined with the above point, we didn't even bother ordering the album we'd paid for in advance, just framed a couple of the better indoor ones.

I also regret not making a fuss with the venue about how cold the room was - our guests all ended up in the main bar all evening which was a shame.

My only regret is my make up, but my booked make up artist had norovirus so the replacement was literally who was available. It was better then I could have done still so that’s something.

One thing I thought I was going to regret was following my cousins example of having an A-Z inside the order of service with things like “T is for Taxi. The numbers of the local taxi firm are…” It looked ridiculously OTT and cheesy once printed, but actually worked really well as it gave our guests a list of timings for the day and handy things like taxi numbers.

Not having something simple, small, and short. Instead I ended up (thanks to my now ex plus family and friends presenting it as the ‘done’ thing - I’d definitely put my foot down now) with a full castle extravaganza, OTT flowers, fancy cars, favours (WTF is the point of favours?), 5 course meal, evening buffet, band, speeches, hats, the whole shebang. Great if that’s your vibe, but it’s really not mine. I’m planning on getting married again in the next year or two. There’ll be about 25 people - registry office, lovely posh lunch in a favourite restaurant, and home by 6pm. I’m happy to pay for all the food and booze, but I don’t want all that bridesmaids/first dance/button holes (WTF?) nonsense again.

The biggest regret was we spent ages choosing the snacky foods and picked one we’d love, but by the time we got to the canapés there were none left. If I had my time again, I’d have a separate food stash just for the bride and groom. Same for the fabled chocolate layer of our wedding cake. We know it existed, but we never saw it!

Having my mother there. I wish we'd not bothered with the meal, the guests, etc. She was so horrible about it all afterwards. I often wish we'd just got married at a registry office with a couple of mates as witnesses, and then gone to the pub.

The ONLY thing I regret about my wedding is that our mothers weren't there. My mother was dying of cancer when we had a very quick register office do, she died 2 days later. We arranged a family wedding party with a humanist celebrant for a year later (that was what we consider to be out real wedding), but DH's mother had been diagnosed with cancer and our 'honeymoon' was spent on sharing the caring for her with DH's siblings for her last few weeks.

Our wedding was perfect though. We did it ourselves, I prepared all the catering in advance, we got a couple of people in to bring the food in, clear away plates and wash up. We hired a lovely historic hall to have it in, and hopped over the low fence into the garden of the wildlife centre next door to say our vows. It didn't go on too long, we only had those we loved there, no music or dancing, just good food, a lovely celebrant, and nice people all catching up with each other and having a good time. People took their own photos and sent them to us, so no photographer. No speeches, no formality, we set up an area for the children to play in with some toys and colouring stuff, all very relaxed. My sister brought some bunting, we bought some balloons (and a balloon pump!) and we had some very simple table decorations. It was lovely!

No need for us to have a wedding planner - so no good to you!

Our first dance song. We went with Lego House because it fit our theme (not a Lego theme!) but I wish I’d chosen Shut Up and Dance because I love it.

Apart from that, we had a great day with wonderful people.

Photographer was absolutely shite. I like about 3 photos of the 90 he took. He should have taken 900

Getting v drunk and forgetting a lot of the night do/ feeling hungover the next day. Had a brilliant time though.

No regrets but I would rather there have just been the 2 of us and the vicar - it was a very precious and personal moment I didn't really want to share with anyone else. 35 years later and I still feel the same - I'd do it again tomorrow with just the 2 of us.

Things I don’t regret - not having kids at the wedding. If you want to have kids there great, but make sure they’re properly catered for. We took ours to a few weddings as they were invited, and the day is just too long and boring for them. No four year old wants to eat three courses or sit for 3 hours over a meal. People who want your kids there for ‘family’ just want to chat to them for a few minutes and slip them a fiver. They don’t want to look after them or take them to the toilet or cut their food up or take them outside when they’re crying. You just get stuck wheeling them round relatives they’ve never met and won’t again until the next wedding/funeral.

Having friends and family sit together. Nothing worse than going to a wedding and being stuck beside the groom’s weirdest uncle for three hours. Painful.

Having the speeches before the meal. That way everyone can relax and they’re over and done with.

A great tiara.

Comfortable shoes.

Taking an E at the reception - although I did look ridiculously happy in the photos!

Coming home with all the gifts -ex was packing up his band - I opened everything and tidied up - fell asleep- I have no idea who gave us what!

Having 234433 grips in my hair - threw my back out taking them out causing much innuendo when people came for brunch the next day

@TeaAndSymumthy This is not going to help with your wedding planning business I'm afraid as my top tip is keep it simple and do what you want.
We had an absolute blast at our wedding because it was about what we wanted. Although I would have loved my DSis not to have been such a mardy bridesmaid but we had so much fun I eventually thought fuck her and I'm not pandering to her not being the centre of attention for once.
It did take DM over 20 years to accept that DSis had behaved "with less grace than expected"!!

Edited to say: I also LOVE my tiara and will occasionally do the housework in it just to feel pretty!!!

It’s great you’re happy with your choice. But this just illustrates that wedding stuff is personal preference. We absolutely didn’t have a videographer. My only regret is that we ever had a photographer. I kicked him out pretty quick. I wanted to enjoy the day not have to have photos taken. I hate being photographed and if I had been being videoed I would genuinely have refused to get married. Been married 20 years, looked at the pictures maybe twice. Certainly never shown my children (why would they care?) The idea of sitting and watching a video of myself makes me feel ill. I’m a memories person not a photo/video person.

OP I don’t think you can really ask anyone else this question. One couples essential is another’s nightmare. Do what’s important to you.

Regrets - too much time with photographer, wish he had done more candid photos, nothing else - loved it

Glad we changed - no speech for hubby (v shy and would have ruined his day, no top table (all round, divorced parents on tables with own family and us with best man and bridesmaids), asked for a song each on rsvps which we gave to dj, asked for red white or rose on rsvps so people could have wine they wanted on tables.

Loads of free booze, cheap bar. Cheap fleece blankets for anyone wanting to stand outside at night. Kids welcome - loads of fun and so nice to look back on. Transport back and to from local town to venue so people could drink.

The only thing I regret are a couple of the guests but we don’t speak to them now so it’s fine.

We didn’t have a videographer, didn’t want one, still don’t regret it now. It’s just not our thing.

We had a photographer friend do the photos, we still paid him but he was much cheaper than a pro. His style was more candid shots which is more our thing but we did have a big group one of all our guests together which we still love. Didn’t have any posed family photos but we did go away for a few as a couple together during the day.

We had SO many things go wrong in the run up and on the day but none of the guests really knew about those things (car broke down and had to be replaced, wrong song as I walked down the aisle, corset on my dress bent when I got into the car so it wasn’t sitting right by the time we got to the venue, amongst other things) but we still had an absolutely wonderful day with so many of our loved ones.