What is your biggest wedding regret?

[TeaAndSymumthy]

Trying to gather some information on what people regretted most about their weddings (excluding maybe who they married 🤣)

things like, not hiring a videographer, over spending, uncomfortable dress, venue?

what did you regret about your wedding?

Caring about the details and the stuff that’s just a money maker for other people. Like, who gives a shit about chair covers or favours for example? Chair covers always seem like pointless shite to me.

Allowing my mother to control everything- "I'm paying for it so I'll say what's happening"

I had loads of guests that I'd no idea who they were.

Getting a dress from a fancy wedding shop rather than the one from Monsoon that I liked.

Asking my father to walk me down the aisle and asking him to give a speech.

mine was a good friend who i liked, i wish id been the one that said stop the wedding, because from what i understand now, is their marriage is on the rocks

Yes!

My shoes were killing me, and i took them off on the way to the reception.
But, my poor feet were so swollen that i couldn’t get the shoes back on.

I am a martyr to my feet, so i kinda knew that my feet would give me gyp. So, i bought new slippers to take to the reception with me.

Problem solved!

Being too traditional
My father paid for the reception causing too issues 1 the people he invited I didn’t know 2 he did not invite his nephew. This cousin has been salty forever more and has caused problems with our mutual aunt

The cake it was beautiful and delicious. I stupidly saved the top tier for christening first baby. Well first baby took longer than expected and so the cake had rotted. Should have eaten fresh and enjoyed it.

Second thing about the cake. My dear mum was pushed to the back of the crowd and never saw us cutting the cake. This made her sad she missed out.

My dress. I had it made. On the day it didn’t fit and an aunt said what a pity I didn’t make my own dress. I am a skilled dressmaker. I made the bridesmaids dresses. I didn’t want the stress of making my own . I should have done.

And my dress had long sleeves on the hottest day of the year.

Almond favours. Pointless but it was fashionable at the time. I broke my tooth on an almond days before the wedding. Needed emergency dental appointment.

despite the hiccups we had a great day and have been married nearly 31 years

That's up to the couple surely.

Not being firmer with DH and his mother who let the best man ramble on for 20 minutes with generic internet jokes… the stuff he did include about absent friends and us as a couple was sweet; Just stick with that and get someone to proof read the speech is my advice.

I missed the evening food entirely because I was chatting. Make sure someone feeds you.

I had to offer my room to a good friend who was breastfeeding. I regret not having the staff allocate her somewhere beforehand. I didn’t mind her using the room at all but she felt as though she was imposing and shouldn’t ask.

Choosing a bridesmaid who ghosted me a couple of years later. It's been almost 33 years now. Glad I didn't choose her to be my son's godmother. I almost did 😲

Not hiring a videographer. I have a few videos from guests but I do wish I had some professional videos as well.

Other than that I truly don’t regret anything. I at times cringe at how much we spent just for one day (it was paid for by parents and PIL but still) but when I think back I don’t actually regret a thing and I loved every second. We spent “extra” on top of the package to make sure guests had extra free drinks and canapés etc and I think it was worth it. I offered to pay for all my bridesmaids hair and make up if they wanted it but didn’t care if they preferred to do their own. I didn’t get fussy about what they looked like or what shoes they wore etc. It definitely made everyone happier not to be worried! I just wanted all the wedding party V and guests happy, fed and watered!

Inviting lots of my PIL’s friends who I didn’t know . The venue for the reception which wasn’t great and gave us a poky bedroom It was pretty awful looking back. I wish we’d had a different and better honeymoon.

My dad invited the next door neighbour as he had a video camera (they were very new at the time). He promised to take video throughout the day. Didn't get the camera out at all and just got pissed 😡

DH and I had both been married before with the sort of big fancy wedding that was mostly for the benefit of the bride's parents. When we got married, DH would happily have had a quick ceremony with just us and a couple of witnesses, but I put my foot down and said that my parents and our collective children would be furious with us if we didn't give them a bit of an event. It was just a bit of an event - open invitation to friends, colleagues and family, register office wedding, a buffet and a cake back at our house afterwards - but our marriage has been so happy that in retrospect I wish we'd done more to celebrate it. I'm very grateful for the fact that my father is a competent amateur photographer and took the initiative in getting some decent photos of the day.

Having a church wedding. Not my religion. My MIL insisted otherwise she wouldn't have come.

That’s awful. I would have just accepted she wasn’t coming.

I really wish I'd worn my Dr Martens under my wedding dress. Would have made a quirky photo with my garter 😆

The sit down meal part. I'd just have a party with a fantastic buffet if I did it again.

Inviting the in-laws .

A few smallish ones.
Wearing a too long, too traditional dress. It was uncomfortable and not really "me". Plus stupidly tight shoes.
Spending far too much on a very fussy 3 tier cake that was someone else's idea, really. A month later we went to a friend's wedding, they had an M&S three tiers and added gorgeous fresh roses to each tier. Simple and lovely.

I got married in the 80s. I think a lot of us were under pressure to do what our parents considered "the done thing"

When my daughter got married I made sure it was their day and it was all about what they wanted.

Groom. 1/10 would not reccomend.

Expensive dress. Ditto shoes.

Fucking ridiculous rambling groom and best man speeches full of in-jokes. My dad for fear of pushing it over the edge just said a couple of heartfelt sentences and it was perfect.

Sitting in a room full of people where you don't know at least half of them and paying for the privelege is the daftest idea going.

The whole thing was a patriarchal outdated horror, bolstered by a feverish industry and overblow expectation. I hated it, and would never repeat unless it was an in/out with witnesses.

My make up. I had had a practice with a make up artist beforehand and she was great and was going to do it, but cancelled the week before. She gave me the number of a friend of hers who did it instead and it was terrible and she kept putting more and more on "for the photos" - gaaargh! In the end I had to wash half of it off. Wish I'd just done it myself in the first place. And she kept telling me I couldn't have a glass of champagne because she'd had a bride previously who'd got completely pissed before the wedding and couldn't go ahead with it because she was passing out drunk- probably drowning her sorrows about the awful make up 😂

I think it’s possibly better to regret not inviting kids than to regret inviting them if they caused issues! 😬

We had kids at our wedding but they were all over 5 and we supplied toys etc during the speeches so they weren’t bored. I was surprised at how well behaved they all were to be honest.
But my God I’ve been to some weddings where there were kids running absolute riot. At a friends wedding one child was screaming at the top of their lungs I WANT TO GO HOME constantly throughout the ceremony. Why they didn’t take her out I don’t know. Then half way through the ceremony a toddler was allowed to run up the aisle to the bride and groom and started crawling towards the alter (church wedding). The priest had to stop the ceremony to prevent the child touching things. Again I’m not sure why the parents didn’t stop the child doing that to start with. Mum didn’t look phased at all when she went to collect him from the priest even though the entire ceremony was stopped. At another wedding a child projectile vomited all over the table they were at during the meal. Thankfully it wasn’t the one I was on! 😂

Quite a few things:

Should have got someone in to do my hair and makeup
Should have got more help rather than feeling I had to organise every detail myself including setting up the room in advance that morning (civil ceremony)
Should have got a proper photographer
Should not have offered to change niece's nappy just before cutting the cake (was a people-pleaser then)
Should have waited till my chronic illness was properly under control
Should have insisted on a nicer venue for the evening rather than cheap restaurant

Overall, should have elpoed as both my and xh's family ruined it.

Fundamentally, should have assessed whether xh really wanted the role of being a husband, rather than just wanting a wife/agreeing to get married as I wanted to and he wasn't bothered.

Sorry that was a very serious reply. It's a big deal though, worth considering every aspect in advance!

Letting DH book the photographer- he chose one just setting up in business and he was very poor, I've never liked our photos.
Having four bridesmaids- I should have just had my best friend, the only one of the four who didn't cause me any problems!