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Im pretty sure im on my way out 🙁

176 replies

EachandEveryone · 27/03/2026 14:49

Ive been in hospital for nine weeks rushed in with massive infection. Every time the try to reduce the antibiotics or change them to oral I spike temperatures and they have to restart. I obviously have an untouchable infection,

I have squamous cell cancer with unknown origin. Its been three years two years of chemo kept it in place but now its growing in my lymph nodes. Surgery not possible as i would bleed too much. Immunotherapy was supposed tonsave me but Ive never really had. chance to give it a go due to my bad luck,, vascular surgery, then taking my shin skin off then colitus! Infeel cursed!

my consultant is willing to try immuno again but he honestly doesnt think my temp will stay down long enough.

the other option is home on profilactic antibiotics and a care package. I feel like this is the only option really. I miss my cats. I feel so well in myself its so unfair. What started off the size of a peanut is going to kill me and god knows when that will be. Judging by the whispering and my consultant telling me to start smoking again it must be soon.

I feel sick!

OP posts:
NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:31

I am so sorry @EachandEveryone , is the infection related to the cancer?

I hope and pray to hear that things have turned around with the infection soon, to start with.

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:31

EachandEveryone · 27/03/2026 17:23

What are they doing for her? Mines all in my groin and has started to come through my skin, i have a colostomy bag and drain on it which is working but I know they were useless managing it in the community and I silently blame them for letting it get infectected in the first place. I told them time and time it smelt off and they just ignored me. I couldve died tgen if I didnt ring an ambulance myself.

i cant have iv at home its too many shots. Besides if im on iv i cant have therapy. If im on oral hes willing to try but its a long shot.

Have you told absolutely anyone in rl was is going on now?

MissMoneyFairy · 27/03/2026 17:32

I've been following your threads, I'm sorry to hear you're still in hospital, I hope you get home soon and get the care and support you need. It's awful to hear that the community nurses didn't listen to you, that must be really frustrating.

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ERthree · 27/03/2026 17:37

I am so sorry you are going through all of this,Ask your consultant out right how long he thinks you have left. If it is not long then go home put your affairs in order sit in the sunshine, smoke like a chimney and cuddle your cats. 🐾

NobodysGirl · 27/03/2026 17:40

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 17:31

Have you told absolutely anyone in rl was is going on now?

Yes if you haven't , please tell family OP.....give them a chance to be there for you.....

I am glad to hear you have close friends nearby .....

Enigma54 · 27/03/2026 17:42

ERthree · 27/03/2026 17:37

I am so sorry you are going through all of this,Ask your consultant out right how long he thinks you have left. If it is not long then go home put your affairs in order sit in the sunshine, smoke like a chimney and cuddle your cats. 🐾

I’m inclined to agree with you there @ERthree

@EachandEveryoneso sorry you are in this predicament. You’ve had rotten luck and I’ve no idea how the community nurses let the infection get this bad. You had been telling them
for ages about the wound leaking and the smell. Its unbelievable.

Channellingsophistication · 27/03/2026 17:54

Gosh, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending you a virtual hug from one cat lover to another

houseofisms · 27/03/2026 17:56

I recently spent 3 nights in hospital with cancer and on chemo (I had 2 clots on my lungs) and that was long enough for me! Get the antibiotics, get home to your cats and smoke to your hearts content!! Maybe try some of that therapeutic 🌱 stuff 😜

AllTheChaos · 27/03/2026 17:59

Oh Op, that is absolutely awful for you. I think I too would choose to be at home with my cats, in my safe space. I really hope the doctors find something that works. Another stranger sending massive hugs x

Randomchat · 27/03/2026 18:02

Oh that sounds so shit. I'm sorry. So many things. Your poor shin, that sounds sore. Is it healing or is your body to under stress to heal properly? I hope your infection can be sorted out enough for you to get home x

Dewdust · 27/03/2026 18:05

Today I was going out of my mind with medical needs piling up on me. It gets worse for me as every time I go near a hospital I seem to catch a bug.

Today I decided that the only thing I could do would be to forget about medical needs and just enjoy being home.

Your situation seems to me to be so much further along the track but if you cant stand hospitals then being at home is a wonderful thing.

I expect you would get nurses visiting you regularly at home and home care help teams.

Its great that youre feeling strong at the moment. Maybe the doctor is one of those people who believe that a little of what you want wont kill you. In fact it may make you feel more normal!
And it will do you good to see your animals again.

EachandEveryone · 27/03/2026 18:10

I feel like everyone on the ward knows. One doctor took me out for a smoke. One of the nurses came in and told me to read the bible and start praying.

the doctor just came to say good night and that the microbiologist has been advised to changed my antibiotics to meroperin so that’s interesting. Let’s hope the weekend brings some positive news. They can’t get hold of my oncologist.

OP posts:
KeepCooking · 27/03/2026 18:15

EachandEveryone · 27/03/2026 18:10

I feel like everyone on the ward knows. One doctor took me out for a smoke. One of the nurses came in and told me to read the bible and start praying.

the doctor just came to say good night and that the microbiologist has been advised to changed my antibiotics to meroperin so that’s interesting. Let’s hope the weekend brings some positive news. They can’t get hold of my oncologist.

How do you feel about the Bible stuff? Some of the nurses have done this kind of thing in the hospital where I work but it is frowned upon. They would not be changing antibiotics unless they had a reason? Let’s hope it can get rid of this infection enough for you to go home. X

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:17

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MissMoneyFairy · 27/03/2026 18:31

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Why are you being so mean

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:32

MissMoneyFairy · 27/03/2026 18:31

Why are you being so mean

Mean?? I am encouraging op to tell people who love her in RL so she gets RL love and support and this time.

AutumnLover1990 · 27/03/2026 18:33

Sending you virtual hugs 💐

LM10000 · 27/03/2026 18:35

Hi OP,

I'm really sorry to hear about what's happening to you. Wanted to respond to let you know I'm thinking about you at this time.

Sending you best wishes and praying you pull through.

Fatandknowit · 27/03/2026 18:38

Couldn't read and run. I am so, so sorry for you, and you are so very brave to put your thoughts down in writing too; it's better out than in and it takes courage to do that.

I wish you every bit of luck (it simply has to change, surely), strength and positivity. You may be a total and utter stranger to me but I felt every one of your words and have overwhelming sympathy for your situation OP. Sending you love ❤️

SpicyChocolatte · 27/03/2026 18:41

Sorry to read this OP

I hope you manage to do things that make you happy 💐

Springspringspringagain · 27/03/2026 18:41

@Rokabe it's not an either/or situation, people can get immense support from online groups where people have similar experiences or have an interest in their lives, as well as those in real life. In fact, often those in real life can't face things and so people can't talk honestly about their fears, worries, ideas or anything, they feel very cut off- the OP has a space here and can choose or not to speak to her family as well.

LifeIsShambolic · 27/03/2026 18:41

ERthree · 27/03/2026 17:37

I am so sorry you are going through all of this,Ask your consultant out right how long he thinks you have left. If it is not long then go home put your affairs in order sit in the sunshine, smoke like a chimney and cuddle your cats. 🐾

I think this sounds like a good plan, especially now as you feel well. Enjoy it as much as possible (I would definitely smoke like a factory chimney at this point).
Wishing you much luck 💐

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:42

Springspringspringagain · 27/03/2026 18:41

@Rokabe it's not an either/or situation, people can get immense support from online groups where people have similar experiences or have an interest in their lives, as well as those in real life. In fact, often those in real life can't face things and so people can't talk honestly about their fears, worries, ideas or anything, they feel very cut off- the OP has a space here and can choose or not to speak to her family as well.

Absolutely

but atm the op doesn’t seem to have told anyone in RL

and mumsnet isn’t a patch on a close rl friend with you

Enigma54 · 27/03/2026 18:46

@Rokabe OP has good friends in London. I’m sure they will know what’s going on with her health.

Rokabe · 27/03/2026 18:47

Enigma54 · 27/03/2026 18:46

@Rokabe OP has good friends in London. I’m sure they will know what’s going on with her health.

Hope so, and hope they’re on their way

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