Constantly losing keys, purse and essentials with ADHD, how do you cope?

[AlwaysAnAirheadMomentEveryDay]

Does anyone with ADHD understand this? A day in the life ....

Yesterday I lost my house key. I don't know where, or how. It has never turned up in spite of me searching everywhere. Luckily my neighbour has a spare, but I need to pay to get a new one cut. Hopefully I won't lose this spare one.

I went to Caffe Nero for a coffee this morning. I got out my purse to see if I had any of those full cards for a freebie, I didn't, so paid by phone. I had the coffee and then went to a jeweller's to collect some items I had fixed, and also to take in a watch for some repairs.

My purse was not in my bag, neither was the watch. I got very upset in the shop but left my bag with them while I went back to the coffee place. I found the watch in my pocket having no idea it was there. At the coffee place the two women I spoke to (baristas) said that no, no purse was handed in. Could I come back on Saturday when the manager had a chance to look at the CCTV? It had all my cards in.

One of them said to the other "Steph have you looked in the drawer?" She did and it was there. One of the other colleagues would probably have put it in, and not told anyone else. I'm grateful, but it was so stressful. I lost it a couple of years ago on a train, same purse. A year or so before that, in Aldi.

Every day I have an occurrence like this. I bought some eyelash serum and can't find it anywhere. Every single day I lose something or forget something. I do try hard. I use calendar alerts and things but I waste so much time on hunting for things, replacing things and also panicking when I put something somewhere "really safe" and then forget where I've put it.

It's tiring and exhausting. Anyone relate? How do you get around this?

Oh yes, I would never have expensive earbuds as I cannot imagine keeping track of them. £10 cheap wired headphones for me - I constantly lose them, step on them, put them through the washing machine etc. The current pair I am using only work on one side.

Apologies if repeating a tip, but if you have an android phone you can log into "find my android phone" in a browser using your google account and make the phone make a loud noise even if it's on silent or DND.

I keep all my keys on one key ring. I don’t use a handbag, don’t carry a wallet / purse I pay for everything on my phone. You could get one of those phone lanyard things to carry it with you.

I’m surprised the staff in the shop didn’t notice a purse on the counter and shout out ‘has anyone lost a purse’.

It’s awful but I do have systems. My keys do not actually leave my back, they are attached to the inside on a strap. You can even buy one. My purse is checked a million times before I leave anywhere. When I leave anywhere I check phone, purse, headphones etc. Didn’t stop me leaving my bag in Wetherspoons 3 weeks ago but luckily remembering in the shops next to it so I could go back and it was still there!

I have 5 spare keys
I have a life 360 tile which I can ring on my keys
I have a key box
I have a life 360 tile in my phone case so I can ring it when I run out of battery.

This is how I have a professional job and severe ADHD… I basically plan for the inevitablity of me forgetting or losing things and make recovering from that a quick process.

I also set a million and one alarms.

It's horrible isn't it? I can totally relate! What's helped me most is having a massive declutter. I 'Marie Kondo'd' a few years ago, and since then everything has had 'a place'. Of course, it's not always IN its place, but it's much more likely to be found than before. At home I have a key hook for my keys, the phone goes on the charger when not in my pocket and everything has somewhere it SHOULD be. Having one hook with your 3 handbags on it makes it much more likely you'll find the one you want there, than if you have 16 handbags dotted around. I really think that minimising has helped my state of mind generally. The clutter everywhere was creating so much 'visual noise' and I didn't even realise. My brain has felt a lot less scrambled since overhauling everything. If you think you might have too much 'stuff' and it's adding to the problem ask a friend if they'll come and body double with you while you get it sorted. Marie Kondo's audiobook is on YouTube at the moment and I found it helpful to play while I was actively organising.

Generally though, for when you're out and about, how about airtags for your keyring, purse, and handbag? One in the car too if you struggle to remember where you parked it.

I only ever have one bag, I couldn't manage more. If I need a bigger bag, the smaller bag goes inside the bigger bag.

I decided not to take anything but my phone and payment cards out the other day. I was standing at the bus stop when I remembered that my bus pass lives .....

The staff are too busy doing their job. There’s that much clutter on most cafe counters a purse wouldn’t be noticed.

Yes - things like this have worked in our household as well. For my son, I used to attach the straps of his PE kit bag to his school bag with a large / strong carabiner clip. He still had to carry his PE kit (it couldn’t just dangle off the school bag), but it meant it never got lost on the bus or in a random classroom like it always used to. Clipping keys and purses to the inside of bags always helps as well (I like bags that have a long elastic strip with key clip on the end of it inside already).

I also find that using A5 reinforced zip bags inside my main handbag is a good way of keeping things handy (and visible). I also use a very small purse, and keep it in a very small cross-body bag, and it has a few essentials in as well (lip balm / keys and can fit phone in), and I treat that as my ‘core’ bag for every day, which is either worn as a cross-body bag, or is put inside a larger handbag, if I need to carry other things with me. The purse always lives in the ‘core’ bag, so it is always hung on the coat peg at home.

In terms of where to put things at home, i think a lot of problems come about when the storage places aren’t in the places that you need them. So if you are always inadvertently ‘shedding’ certain items in a certain place, you should put the storage for it there.

It's hard to live with, and then putting new systems in place and regularly using those systems daily to become habit forming is tricky but not impossible! 🙌

We used to have mountains of stuff. I tried the Marie Kondo method and I found it overwhelming. It was good at first, then it became too much. I would start, then get distracted. Then I'd feel guilty, or forget what I was even doing.
Some people do the Swedish death clean thing and that makes my head fall off! 😆

I tend to follow both Kallie at the practical mom, and Gemma from The Oragnised Mum Method (TOMM) for decluttering and tips etc.
I now have 3 piles and commit to them.
Regift/charity, recycle or bin. ♻️

Another rule for our house is the one in one out rule. 💕
I always get overwhelmed in the run up to birthdays and christmas etc, so we try and have a clear out of stuff before then, so the new stuff doesn't bog me down. 😇

It will get easier, you can do this 💪
@AlwaysAnAirheadMomentEveryDay

This is exactly what I do. It’s the only way I can keep on top of the daily grind.

The most used function on my Apple Watch is the one to alert me to where my phone is. I can set my phone down and two minutes later not have a clue where it is.