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Baby’s dad denying paternity then unblocking me, invite him to birth?

109 replies

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:36

Hi everyone..

i am currently 26 weeks pregnant with a little girl who i am SO excited for. I have everything bought, all clothes ready and washed and her rooms all decorated waiting.

Her dad has not been involved at all in this pregnancy, he’s even denied to people that she’s his baby. Due to this I’ve actually offered to pay for a pregnancy DNA and he has denied. He has no reason not to believe she’s not his baby, I’ve offered countless DNA tests & haven’t been with anyone else so not sure what else I can do?

I Am not worried about doing it alone I know im already a great mother and feel so blessed to have another child. I live on my own have a job a 5 year old.

I genuinely do just leave him to it as he’s always made it clear how he feels. I am not one to say either “he’s not seeing the baby”. I just focus on my own life and children so it’s not like I’m contacting him etc.

im not going to put him on child maintenance as i can do it alone and feel like he’s made it clear how he wants his role to be in our daughters life. At first I was like CMS will do. DNA and prove she’s you’re baby as I was so angry that he was telling people she wasn’t and making out I’d slept around.

The past few weeks he’s been unblocking me on social media and very clearly must be looking at things I post (a lot of it is around baby). Why would he be doing this?

I wanted to text him sooner to the time and let him know he’s welcome to be at the birth but if he didn’t want to be that would also be okay. I just don’t want it to feel like I’m withholding information or preventing anything now that he’s unblocked me.

I just don’t understand the constant blocking & unblocking lately & looking at my stuff when he’s had me blocked completely from the start.

His family also message one minute all in to be involved then ignore me for weeks/months at a time. Anytime I try contact them regarding scan invites etc I get a thumbs up or a yes and then they never come. I’ve decided I’m going to stop trying for my own sanity with his family as I know I’ve given every opportunity for them to be involved (as they’ve asked) it’s their first grandchild/child and I just don’t know what’s going on I feel confused at the minute and need advice would you have him in the labour room?

Do dads ever change their mind as pregnancy progresses or baby’s here? I feel like it hasn’t bothered me up until now I notice I’m being unblocked and we’ve exchanged a few texts but whenever I mention baby it’s like he doesn’t have much to say. Do I block him and protect my peace I have no one to talk to this about? Thankyou in advance x

OP posts:
2chocolateoranges · 12/03/2026 22:39

Why would you want him at the birth when he’s acting like a total prick.

during labour you will need someone with you who is supportive and can help you, not someone who denies they are the father and also blocks you.

Soontobe60 · 12/03/2026 22:41

This person is not a good person to be around. You need to block him off SM yourself, and put in a claim via CMS as soon as your baby arrives.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/03/2026 22:41

Concentrate on yourself and your baby. Don’t waste your precious energy on him andDONT invite him to the birth. You are vulnerable and need the focus to be on you, not him.

CMS, because the money is your child’s. Save it if you want to. The minimum a dad should do is pay support. When he’s ready to be an adult, he’s ready to meet his dd. But not yet.

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Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:42

Thankyou so much would you say to block his family also?

OP posts:
ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary · 12/03/2026 22:42

Just block him and get on with having your baby. What an absolute tool.

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:43

You are totally right! Thankyou

OP posts:
CrocusesFlowering · 12/03/2026 22:44

Imagine this arsehole being your father !

LorenzoCalzone · 12/03/2026 22:44

You sound very switched on. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Honestly I wouldn't communicate at all. Sounds like he's wavering between denial and reality, that's his problem. His family have chosen to believe his lies and will probably regret it - again, not your problem.

I've known men be arseholes during pregnancy and absolutely smitten once the baby arrives. I've known more who just remain arseholes who constantly let down their kids.

Protect your peace and focus on your lovely family

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:45

Thankyou that’s very true the money is for her not me!

OP posts:
fartoomuchtoblerone · 12/03/2026 22:46

He’ll no I wouldn’t invite him to the birth! Why would you want someone who has treated you so badly there? A birthing partner should be someone you can trust and who will advocate for you.

He should also financially support the child. He helped make them. But other than that put him out of your mind and if he wants to approach you about being involved in the child’s life at some point that’s up to him to do more than unblock you on social media.

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:46

Thankyou so much trying to deal with this the best I can x

OP posts:
twentyeightfishinthepond · 12/03/2026 22:47

Bitty is not a spectator sport, and unsupportive people are no use to you there.

Emma6cat · 12/03/2026 22:49

He will be dipping in and out of yours and the babys life forever..... he's already shown you how unreliable and unpredictable he is. CSM is for your child, contact them as soon as she is born. Initiate no contact with him and his family for the sake of your sanity and your daughter. It sounds like your hoping he will change his mind once the baby is born. You dont need him, he sounds awful. You deserve respect, remember that.

Helplessandheartbroke · 12/03/2026 22:51

The money is for you and her. Its to support her which will mean you need some of it to buy things, provide a roof over her head etc. Definitely take support money and I would not contact him at all

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/03/2026 22:52

And don’t put him on the birth certificate. Make him work for that.

WearyAuldWumman · 12/03/2026 22:52

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:42

Thankyou so much would you say to block his family also?

If you want to block contact with him, then you also need to block his family in my opinion.

TalulahJP · 12/03/2026 22:54

hes an immature prick playing the childish “it wasn’t me, a big boy dun it and ran away” card, pretending it’s not his baby.

He prob told his family that too so they are likely wanting to believe him also.

get him dna’d by cms and be done with it. that will prove it for ever. your baby deserves to know who it’s dad is.

he should pay his way. it might make him think twice about contraception or your child could have a number of siblings all round town…..

id not have him at the birth. he lost that privilege by being a prick. there are some things in life you dont get a second chance at.

your mum, sister or best mate would be a better birthing partner. imagine how bad you’d feel if he starting sexting some other woman while youre panting for the head.

No hes surely not welcome.

HotRootsAndNaughtyToots · 12/03/2026 22:55

*Baby’s dad denying paternity then unblocking me, invite him to birth *

F*ck no.

You've got this, love. Don't let him anywhere near you while you're vulnerable. Flowers

TonTonMacoute · 12/03/2026 22:57

Agree with PPs, why on earth would you want to have anything more to do with this loser? Take the chance to scrape him off for good, just like the shit he is

BettyBoh · 12/03/2026 22:58

You say how mature and prepared and independent you are …. and then you ask questions like that…. If you are hoping to rekindle the relationship then please don’t use the baby to do this.

PeonyPatch · 12/03/2026 23:01

Doesn’t sound very mature or independent to me.

Imbusytodaysorry · 12/03/2026 23:11

@Userunknownx he sounds like he would only mess your dd around . Get to know her and leave her and then where would she be ?hurt and wondering why . Stuff him and stuff his family .

Don't do anything else and leave him to try sort it if he wants . However I don’t think he can be trusted now .

mondaytosunday · 12/03/2026 23:32

Scan invites? What the heck is that? Anyway why in the world are you giving this any thought? The answer is no. Block him for once.

KeeleyJ · 12/03/2026 23:34

I wouldn't let a prick like that sit and watch me shitting myself and see my vagina turned inside out.

Busybeemumm · 12/03/2026 23:38

No to the birth and definitely do not put him on the birth certificate. He doesn't have the right to parental responsibility when he hasn't taken any at all.