Friend told me not to text her …was I in the wrong ?

[lulu55xxx]

My friend and I text daily and she will send me pics of a holiday she’s booked or new things she’s bought or whatever really.
Anyway this weekend me and partner went away.
I have been quite down lately and my health hasn’t been the best so I’ve had a nice time away.
We went in a casino and literally never gamble but spent £10 on the machines.
I won £300 (well partner and I was sharing )
Anyway I showed my friend as I was excited (and didn’t think I was doing anything wrong )
We then won a couple more times and I text friend (we had been continuously texting so it wasn’t just about me winning )
We won another £500 altogether
I was so excited and after a few cocktails didn't think I was doing anything bad.
She replied “please don’t send me any more if you win,I don’t want to know that your winning money..it’s peeing me off seeing you winning”
I was a bit took a back.
Last week was her 30th so I took her out for a meal and spa day ..so I always make sure she has a nice birthday.
Did I do anything wrong?
I wasn’t trying to brag ,I was just excited because I never won anything in my life.

I can understand her being cheesed off by the messages telling her how much you’d won but if I was her I’d have just left you on read if it pissed me off.

I suspect there is some context or subtext that you haven't realised. Perhaps she's feeling skint or like she's having a run of bad luck herself at the moment.

Coming Into money by whatever means should always be kept to yourself. What was it the song in the 00s said? ‘If you ain’t sharing, people ain’t caring’ - it’s a mantra to live by. Unless you are planning on giving someone a share, shhh.

My MIL tells us when she’s won money on a slot machine, my old boss acted like her getting a tax rebate was a cause of celebration in the office. No.

She not a proper friend if she’s jealous.

I am afraid that I think she is jealous. I would be so pleased for my friend. Be careful of her in the future. Something feels off.

Wyclef!

But she was sharing, she took her friend out to a fancy spa!

I am skint, but if my best friend was excited and texting me about multiple wins I would be so thrilled for her and enjoying the experience alongside her. Anything else is just envy and not real friendship.

ETA The only thing I would say is if she's been telling OP recently that she's struggling financially it would definitely be bad taste for OP to go on about winning money.

Congratulations and have fun with your winnings, OP! Some people can’t feel pleasure in their friends’ good luck, which is a shame. But don’t let it worry you. I would stay in touch with her but not mention money any more.

This.

I think it probably isn't a big problem or she wouldn't have been so straightforward about it.

It can be annoying when people are crowing. It would have been nice if she had felt happy for you, and I don't think you did anything wrong, but I kind of respect her for being so uncomplicated if it was bothering her.

Why do people use "text" as a past participle?

This.
You def didn't do anything wrong.
Congratulations on your good fortune 🎊

Does she have money troubles? If that was the case, it might be understandable for her to be upset. But either way, the way she said it sounds rude/grumpy and doesn’t sound very friend-like. You’ve ended up feeling bad for having a good time—and it seems like that was her aim. If she was my ‘friend’ I would speak with her and make clear that I didn’t appreciate her sulky and sour message, I didn’t understand why she responded like that and it put a damper on my mood when I was trying to have a much needed break. See what she has to say. She’s upset you, if you want to continue the friendship it’s best to deal with it.

Perhaps she has always been a self centred ar** and this is your epiphany.

Can I just say CONGRATULATIONS!!! that's bloody great, enjoy spending it!

My sister is exactly like this. I've been NC with her for over 20 years now.

@lulu55xxx she is not a true friend. A true friend, you can say anything at all to and vice versa.

If you were in conversation already, this is just a normal exciting thing you do share! I remember telling people how we won a bit at a casino - not in a bragging way but more that it was an exciting and rare occasion! And likewise if a friend has gone to the casino I will make a comment asking if they had any good luck!
I'm surprised she didn't just hype you up and be happy for you. You're having a good time and got lucky!

all my family were abusive but I alwasy stayed in contact with them

it didnt do me any good - they all abandoned me when I got so mentally unwell and honestly they were the reason at root as to why I got so unwell even though stress was the immediate trigger

She is jealous and pissed off you won money, but its actually quite nice she is able to tell you. Accept it! This is what friendship is about, being able to be honest and accepting each other's weaknesses. She was not offensive or nasty.

Gosh! She doesn't sound like she has a very generous spirit, OP. You might want to devote more time to nicer friends.

And tell her all about the wonderful plans you've got for your winnings! 🤣 If she says anything to you, I would tell her that true friends are happy for each other and it's a pity she can't be happy for you when something good happens. Straight talking goes both ways.

And don't do such lavish things for her birthday! A meal - fine. But a meal and a spa day for two must have cost you a fortune!

Oh FFS 😆😆

We can all call her "jealous", but if I was at home and my friend kept texting to say how much money was being thrown at her, then after the second or so text, I think I'd be irritated, too. It didn't need repeated texts, even if you were already messaging.

Text as a verb has entered the lexicon. Language evolves. Same as we say we emailed someone, not sent an email.

Even if I jealous, if I’m your true friend and I love you, I’m going to respond to every text with encouragement and woohoo!!! and “don’t lose it all now!” 🙌🏼 🎉 🎈

Because that’s how true friends are.

She sounds like she doesn’t appreciate your good news.
And that doesn’t sound like a true friend.

Ergh not a really friend Op (fuck her) hope you had a fantastic night and enjoy your winnings 💷
People wanna see you doing good but never better than them; remember that.

I think there's a lesson here about being in the moment - winning money - and not feeling the need to send messages to people who aren't there. I get that we now have the ability to be in constant contact with people but it doesn't mean we have to. In this case the tone was lost, you didn't realise you were annoying her and coming across as boasting and then she got annoyed and you're taken aback by it. It is a case of crossed wires and happens a lot with messaging.

Should have been:

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you, hope you have a nice night and enjoy your wine, misery guts.“

I think it has always been a verb for as long as we have been texting, as in "I will text you tomorrow."

What I had noted was its usage as a past participle, as in "We won again (pp) and I text (pp) my friend."

This is happening more and more. I was listening to this at a cafe the other day: "So I text her and said .... and she text me back and said ..."