Receiving Disturbing Cards

[Circularspandex]

Name changed because it's outing.

DH and I have been together for twenty three years and have two teenage children.

Last year, about a week before mother's day, I received a mother's day card with my name written inside and then a heart. Nothing else. I didn't recognise the handwriting. It was posted from a city which is at the other end of the country (NE and I live in the SW). My street name was misspelled on the envelope.

I was freaked out by it, but ignored it after a while.

We've been away this weekend, but have just found another one in our letterbox. Similar To My Mother card, with my name and heart. Written in the same green pen, it seems.

This time there's no address, stamp or postmark on it, which is really worrying. It just has my name on her front. Unfortunately our Ring doorbell has run out of battery and we haven't charged it.

Do you think I should contact the police? DH thinks I should, but I don't want them to think I'm wasting their time.

I definitely do not have any other children.

why would you not read the first post….but then respond anyway?

#1 somebody is angry, jealous, or upset with you and this anonymous crapola is a good way to upset you.

#2 somebody is mentally unstable and this is how they get their release. They could be sending these cards to others - we’ll never know.

Find a place to mount a camera with a perfect, unobstructed view of your mailbox.
Then buy a camera and mount it there.
lol you could mount a camera right on the mailbox! It wouldn’t even have to operate. Just the thought of a camera RIGHT THERE might be enough to scare people off. Oops - sorry, Mail Carrier.

Relax. Whomever it is is doing it to screw with you - and look! It’s working!!

No sensible person does that. I know it’s unsettling, but just try to put it out of your mind.

And get that extra camera - pronto.

Sending love across a continent and an ocean ❤️

Hi @Circularspandex around 25 years ago, my then-partner was the recipient of anonymous cards.
I don't mean to unnerve you, and I'm hoping yours have a simple, and less sinister, explanation.

His cards became more frequent and pernicious, and contained information that only someone who knew him well, could possibly know. He suspected everyone - work colleagues, family members, friends - it was horrendous and caused a lot of harm to both of us. Hence, even after all this time, your title jumped out at me.

It's the not knowing who is doing it, that causes the harm.

He kept every single card, we used a magnifying glass to examine the handwriting, and he finally paid a graphologist. She said that she firmly believed the perpetrator was female.

I would say, for now, keep it to yourself. Don't mention it to anyone or show any reaction, keep the card(s) in a safe place, and carry on as normal. Malicious senders want a reaction, and will sooner or later trip themselves up.

I will just add that we did go to the police (the cards got very nasty), and they took it seriously and documented everything. We figured out (by keeping quiet) who it was - an estranged female family member.

I know what it feels like, and the damage it can cause. I hope yours turn out to be a genuine mistake. I just wanted to share our experience, which was way before we had doorbell cams, internet, etc. (Some came by post, some were hand-delivered).

Have name-changed due to sensitivity.

It has the OP’s name on.

Could it be a sibling on your fathers side? How old was the unfamiliar man?

It could just be someone local who is jealous of something. They might have been visiting NE and sent from there last year but live nearby (sorry, that might sound more scary!)

Very strange it's been 2 years in a row if they don't know you personally and have gotten your name quite right.

Or again with adoption, they have some info on a birth parent and it's led to a mix up? I see people asking on FB to find relatives and it's all vague information, so could certainly be someone has accidentally pointed them in the wrong direction.

Very strange they didn't leave a way to contact them back though. And very unlucky your camera ran out of battery. Not sure if I should say hopefully they come back now it's charged, but at least you'd have a clear picture! Don't think it would do any harm to contact the police as it definitely seems aimed, even if you're not the right recipient.

I’d assume it’s someone searching for their mum who gave them up for adoption or something, and their mum has the same name as you. They’ve found your address and mistakenly think you’re her.

I don't think the police can do anything, no crime has been committed. I would save them making a note when you received the cards. Get your door bell charged up and that's it really. Very odd l know & it must be very unsettling but there is nothing you can do about it....

She did reply. No abortions and no miscarriages.

All very odd. If it was a child mistakenly trying to contact who they thought was their birth mother surely they leave contact details though?
But I can’t think of anything else.

Strange case. I wonder if it is a case of someone imagining you as their mum figure because you may look similar to theirs and maybe even have the same name. I would keep the cards and pop Ring on all the time.

Next year two weeks before Mother’s Day maybe have Ring charged around the clock and you may finally get some idea who it is. I’ll have to save this thread. I’d be so interested if this mystery gets solved.

Have you got an ex from donkeys years ago who is maybe sad you broke up and is thinking yo7 should still be together and have kids together? If it has your name in it then I don’t think it’s mistaken identity??? Someone is sending them to you for a reason and it’s odd that Mother’s Day seems to be the trigger.

We lived in our property about 5 years, randomly last couple years we started receiving Christmas cards adressed to the people who lived here before us - not even the previous ones but the original ones ! I just write on them - not know at this address and throw it back to the letter box 🤷🏼‍♀️

How strange. I did find a Father’s Day card to my ex once. His name and our address. I also found something else indicating a child around 15yrs earlier but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. He never mentioned a child and I believed him to have never slept with anyone else before we met. Of course it is much easier for a men to hide they have had a child than a woman, and also very easy for them to have not known about the child. Unless you were in a coma for a minimum of 9 months it would be pretty much impossible to forget you gave birth to a baby.

Just a thought. Have you ever lost something with your name and/or address on? My DD lost a bag on a tube and a few years later it was found along with her ID and personal stuff when the police raided a man’s house for something else. He said he had found it next to a station. The police contacted her to see why he had it. He didn’t do anything, but he had been charged with offences to do with harassing women.

Not to freak you out but I wonder if some idiot was trying to play a game to worry you.

That’s a bit different to receiving a Mother’s Day card addressed to you though…

Whoever is sending these cards are clearly trying to make you feel uncomfortable and that's not ok! A mother's day card is very personal and they have written your name on the card and and sent to your address so it is definitely intended for you. It sounds like somebody is trying to cause trouble implying that there's a child out there that you should know about! I would definitely contact the non emergency police number to log it as it could escalate to something more serious.

Maybe your DH has another older child you don’t know about and this is the way they are trying to out it?

I dont think OP would block having a baby out of her mind!

This, assuming the OP has never donated eggs and a child born from her egg has identified her as their genetic mother. Are you on any ancestry sites OP?

Do you know anyone locally who has ties with the NE? They could have sent the card (already written out) to them last year to post to you to throw off the scent?
Maybe this year the connection to the NE ended (maybe the person who assisted ended the friendship, moved or died) so they had to hand deliver it?
It’s weird and I’d feel unnerved.

I have no suggestions about the card, that's weird, but I do have a suggestion about the Ring Doorbell.

I also have the battery version and it runs down every month or so. I bought a second battery from Amazon. As soon as I swap them over, I recharge the dead one. Then, when I get the phone notification that the current one is at 30% or whatever, its just a quick top up for the spare and I can swap them out without any loss of doorbell/video capture. The spares aren't expensive, just make sure you purchase the right one for your model.

My late mother had similar. Flowers and cards quite randomly addressed to her by Christian name only. The name was wrong too but similar. The last card said something which made us think it was someone looking for a birth mother or estranged mother. Went on for a few years then stopped.

And a secret baby that's completely slipped her mind?

🤣🙇🏻‍♀️

What are the chances of using a green pen twice, a year apart. Black ink yes but green obviously signifies something. I dont think this is a case of mistaken identity as your name is on the card and it's sent to your address. They couldn't be sure the card was received by post last year so this year it was hand delivered so they are making sure it's delivered to you. Maybe ask your neighbours if they are having cards like this and as a last resort I'd be asking DH if something has happened in the past that he hasn't shared with you. It won't be a nice conversation but it does seem very odd that this is happening to you.

I would be extremely surprised if the police were interested
Especially as there is no threat mentioned in the cards,no evidence on a camera. My oldest DD has a stalker for 20 years,he moved to live near her, quite some distances,watched her.. police said because he didn't approach her or touch her,there was nothing they could do. This was an ex boyfriend.

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