Receiving Disturbing Cards

[Circularspandex]

Name changed because it's outing.

DH and I have been together for twenty three years and have two teenage children.

Last year, about a week before mother's day, I received a mother's day card with my name written inside and then a heart. Nothing else. I didn't recognise the handwriting. It was posted from a city which is at the other end of the country (NE and I live in the SW). My street name was misspelled on the envelope.

I was freaked out by it, but ignored it after a while.

We've been away this weekend, but have just found another one in our letterbox. Similar To My Mother card, with my name and heart. Written in the same green pen, it seems.

This time there's no address, stamp or postmark on it, which is really worrying. It just has my name on her front. Unfortunately our Ring doorbell has run out of battery and we haven't charged it.

Do you think I should contact the police? DH thinks I should, but I don't want them to think I'm wasting their time.

I definitely do not have any other children.

Maybe just someone who has a bit of a mummy fetish and has taken a liking to you, or less sinister, someone (very naive and misguided) who saw you mothering your children and thought you were a lovely mum who deserved recognition.

Do you have open social media and a local presence eg a member of social media local community groups? Not that you shouldn’t but maybe that’s where he saw and liked how you are as a mum?

Ummm yeeeeeaaaah i think we got the point that her name isnt literally Jane Doe 😂

What we are picking up on is that the structure ("Mrs First Initial Surname") is quite an old school way to address an envelope. These days people would just address an envelope First Name Surname

This is v weird but I don’t think you need to go to the police just yet. Keep an eye, write it down and keep the 2nd card.

OP did your DH also use the DNA website?

My main thoughts on this are that it is possibly more likely to be related to him, and someone is trying to unsettle you on purpose. Perhaps he has a child from before you met that he is actually completely unaware of and someone has worked out he is their DF through the website; and out of spite they are trying to send the message to both of you? It could even be the mother of the secret child?

I also think there is a bit of an escalation from someone posting the card on the other side of the country, to then posting it by hand through your letterbox - it’s almost as though it’s building towards something. I also find it weirdly convenient that this happened when you and your family were away for the weekend, where you wouldn’t be there to see it happen.

I feel that if this was someone trying to reach a birth parent surely there would be some sort of signature on it or details left for communication to be pursued? I also don’t believe they would wait a whole year in between trying to contact you.

Long shot but could they be cards you sent to your own mother years ago that are now being sent back to you by someone? Perhaps cards you gave to your mother when you were a child (and perhaps you didn't write in them?).

Any chance it could be someone you know that would consider that funny or maybe even sweet?

You're not adopted, are you OP? Are you 100% sure? Not your birth mother and the Mum refers to her?

Many years back, I received unsettling cards and landline phone calls. Female voice, but silent calls initially. Moved to name calling at 2 am.

You start to suspect everyone from work colleagues, even my estate agents. I just could not figure out who I had upset so much.

I also have a slightly unusual name. But someone had the same. My ex sil, who was involved with another womans partner. My name, number, address were in the old telephone directory.

Worse thing, I had tearfully told her how creeped out and scared I was. She knew all along.but chose self preservation over me and DHs peace of mind.

Its often close to home op.

I agree with most of what you say - in terms of the last paragraph, not always.

The sender could be building up to this.

If it is the 'child' that is. I agree it could also be the mother.

I also think there is a bit of an escalation from someone posting the card on the other side of the country, to then posting it by hand through your letterbox - it’s almost as though it’s building towards something. I also find it weirdly convenient that this happened when you and your family were away for the weekend, where you wouldn’t be there to see it happen.
This is what I think too.
Have you heard back from any of the neighbours about their doorbell footage?

Something like this happened to me once except it was a birthday card. Just had my name written in it with a few kisses, no sender's name. It was a long time ago so can't remember exact details but I think it was posted with my full address on it. It really freaked me out!
Turned out it was from some charity I'd given a donation to - can't remember which one - it must have been for people with learning difficulties or something- sending cards was part of the activities and was viewed as a nice thing to do. I honestly can't remember how I put 2 and 2 together to realise that, but it definitely was from a charity I'd donated to. I did contact them and explained that I was upset by it and it wasn't maybe best practice!
Could this be the case for you maybe?

I wouldn’t phone the police yet. Keep the card somewhere safe in a plastic envelope or bag to preserve any DNA that maybe on it, just in case and make a record of the dates you received it and the other card.

Indeed!! 🤔😂

A man might not realise he'd fathered a child but for a woman to not realise she'd given birth.......🤣

@Circularspandex - are your own mother and mother-in-law alive? And if so, might there be any cognitive issues going on? A few of my friends and colleagues have relatives with dementia and odd and inappropriate cards were a feature for some - birthday cards sent to the wrong child or on the wrong date, names jumbled up, that sort of thing.

Might be nothing, but would there be any clues in the verse (even sarcasm at overly mushy)?
It's unlikely the choice of card would have no meaning if there was someone who wanted to give a message while also trying to be undiscovered.

Yes that would be my thought too. Local person taking steps to post from far away to avoid identification.

People used to do slightly similar on here with the Janet and Roy cards.

I would find it very unnerving. I'm not sure the police could do anything but I would keep the card just in case you receive anything else odd

Did the police ever speak to her? Did he ever reveal he knew it was her?

Oh I see! Forgive me. Some people say some really odd things on here so I jumped to a conclusion.

How unusual. I think i would potentially report it on the online chat function to see what the police thought.

To answer your questions @TheyreJustNormalCheeses no, the police did not, because by the time we had worked out who it was, we had moved house and moved on as best we could. The police actually "lost" the cards they had, and the rest, we burnt on the fire! When we were ready to do so.
Your second question - no, because we wanted absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with her, and that's how it's been ever since.

Is it possible DH has another child or the mother of said child who’s trying to rattle you?
Do you work with the public? A friend who is a therapist had a male patient try to stalk her.
Do you have an unhinged ex who could be watching your life?

Have you paid someone from a bank account using mobile phones? People can obtain all sorts of details that way.

How?