Receiving Disturbing Cards

[Circularspandex]

Name changed because it's outing.

DH and I have been together for twenty three years and have two teenage children.

Last year, about a week before mother's day, I received a mother's day card with my name written inside and then a heart. Nothing else. I didn't recognise the handwriting. It was posted from a city which is at the other end of the country (NE and I live in the SW). My street name was misspelled on the envelope.

I was freaked out by it, but ignored it after a while.

We've been away this weekend, but have just found another one in our letterbox. Similar To My Mother card, with my name and heart. Written in the same green pen, it seems.

This time there's no address, stamp or postmark on it, which is really worrying. It just has my name on her front. Unfortunately our Ring doorbell has run out of battery and we haven't charged it.

Do you think I should contact the police? DH thinks I should, but I don't want them to think I'm wasting their time.

I definitely do not have any other children.

I would log with police, and keep the card, just in case it escalates or happens again.

They won't do anything, but at least it's on record for this time.

Definitely log it with the police. The sender is going to great lengths to get that card to you!
The fact that they've sent somebody incognito on a bike is alarming. I would be nervous!

That isn't a 'fact'. Nobody knows who the person on the bike was, and the most logical and obvious explanation is that the person on the bike who delivered it was the person who wrote it.

I am one who thinks this is someone who mistakenly thinks you are their birth mother, and it may have been your original pre-married name that they searched?

It’s not that hard to find all sorts of background details on people, especially if you are barking up the wrong tree.

This seems the simplest and most obvious explanation to me. The fact it's anonymous makes me think this is the likely reason....perhaps because they're tentatively making contact or because their name was changed following an adoption. They could easily have their wires crossed.

Nobody outside of your household would have known your camera wasn't working, so the fact they hand delivered it makes me feel this is an error rather than sinister.

No idea. But it happens to me!

I paid someone and in my receipt it had their address.
I think it’s the service called Stripe?

It has made me wary about using a card or phone for this particular service again. I will use cash in future.

Thanks for replying. What a weird yet upsetting thing to go through.

Another possible explanation that could be worth considering (and is far more innocent) is could this be an older person who has some form of dementia? Do you have any loved ones/friends/even acquaintances that are of an older age who might be sending these as a way of saying you are a good Mother? Maybe it is someone local and known to you who went away this time last year, knew Mother’s Day was coming up and wanted to send you something to show they admire you as a Mother. The difference maybe this time is that they hadn’t travelled away, and were closer to home so could physically post the card.

When DMIL was in the earlier stages of dementia, she started buying birthday cards for loved ones that had passed away with the intention of passing them on; sadly not remembering that some of them had passed many years before.

This would also fit with the older style of cursive handwriting, and the same pen being used.

A really odd situation OP - I hope you manage to get to the bottom of it somehow.

Or he was just out biking for the day and has no idea he's now a suspect on Mumsnet.

OP you say you’ve been in your house 15 years and your eldest is 15. Could it be someone you knew before you moved to your current street, perhaps from the street or area where you used to live, perhaps someone who knew you when you were pregnant?

Or does the elderly neighbour have any children or relatives who may resent your close relationship with her?

Report it to the police as this can be seen as harassment - repeated unwanted contact.

I don’t think this is a kid or teenage prank. They would definitely be more creative. Plus it appears to have an older persons handwriting in.
It could well be mistaken identity. I think they probably are more local but purposefully posted it whilst further afield last year. They could well be the helmet wearing cyclist who wore it as a disguise whilst hand delivering it especially if they clocked your ring doorbell.
A whole year apart and both Mother’s Day cards aren’t suggesting anything very concerning but I would definitely install cctv or ensure the doorbell is always charged.

Was it a business transaction?

I know this sounds dodgy but it isn’t! I paid for a 10 minute back massage in a department store.

You got a business address, that's a pretty standard feature of receipts. Every business has to have a registered address. My mate's business address is his home address because that's where his workshop is but because of the kind of business he runs, clients come to him anyway & can easily see that his business is in his garden. People with more privacy concerns can pay for a "brass plate" business address if they don't have premises & their business mail is forwarded to them from there. Getting an address like "26b Wisteria Avenue" doesn't necessarily mean you got their home address.

That's nothing to do with using a phone, that will be specific to the service and how it's set up, and how the business has set it up.

Possibly Stripe Link?

How do you know she definitely didn’t send it though?

She might admire you as a parent and thought it was a sweet gesture. The worried reaction might have been just her on the spot reaction out of some sort of embarrassment or not knowing how to say it was her when she realised you thought it was weird.

Have you ever received a Christmas card or similar from her where you could compare the writing?

Would love an update OP!

Really?
Perhaps you should seek professional help.

@ConspiracytheoriesI think she said this sarcastically !

@83048274j this made me laugh lol

I think she probably did.

But I have a particular dislike for sarcasm..

Honestly the sarcasm was well deserved in this conversation.

I don't think sarcasm is ever justified.

All is does is display the unpleasant character of the person using it.
It isn't called the lowest form of wit for nothing.

And tbh sarcasm isn't suited to the written word because it often comes over as a literal statement.

I disagree. I think sarcasm is often justified in a response to stupidity.

You knew that the comment was sarcastic, yet you responded with ‘Perhaps you should seek professional help.’ To me your response was either also sarcastic or plain silly. 🤷‍♀️