Receiving Disturbing Cards

[Circularspandex]

Name changed because it's outing.

DH and I have been together for twenty three years and have two teenage children.

Last year, about a week before mother's day, I received a mother's day card with my name written inside and then a heart. Nothing else. I didn't recognise the handwriting. It was posted from a city which is at the other end of the country (NE and I live in the SW). My street name was misspelled on the envelope.

I was freaked out by it, but ignored it after a while.

We've been away this weekend, but have just found another one in our letterbox. Similar To My Mother card, with my name and heart. Written in the same green pen, it seems.

This time there's no address, stamp or postmark on it, which is really worrying. It just has my name on her front. Unfortunately our Ring doorbell has run out of battery and we haven't charged it.

Do you think I should contact the police? DH thinks I should, but I don't want them to think I'm wasting their time.

I definitely do not have any other children.

Someone has tried to trace their birth mother and has made a mistake because you’ve got the same name.

The reason for the anonymous card is to unnerve you.
My ex used to love a card, and would often post them in other parts of the country to try and trick me (he used to travel for work!) when I became a mother I would then receive Mother’s Day cards. As well as random Easter, even new years cards - didn’t even know that was a thing! Years on, I still wouldn’t be surpised if I ever received a random card. I would know full well who it is, because I never ever receive cards from anyone except him.

Could you use Ancestry to see if there have been any births or marriages of people with your name? If your first name is unusual, then may be there's not too many? You can search for free. It will at the very least give you a birth year and town or year/town of marriage.

Your husband?

That was my guess as mostly likely thing, but it would still be a weird way of making contact?

Definitely not my husband. He's the one who first suggested calling the police.

I can't understand why, if someone mistakenly thought I was their mother, they'd send it anonymously. I wonder if they're local, as this one was hand delivered.

I guess you don’t get them on birthdays or Christmas etc? You’d think if it was someone maybe trying to find their mother they may send a Christmas card also? It would freak me out too. I went through a phase of getting phone calls for months and when I answered it was just someone breathing down the phone, I was in a long term marriage so no idea who it was, I changed my number in the end.

My first name is slightly unusual (similar to Tara), but my last name (married name) is unusual, particularly in the spelling (similar to Rosebery, rather than Roseberry).

It could be mistaken identity. But it feels weird and unnerving. It's anonymous, the posting from the NE then hand delivering is strange. I wonder if they knew that I was away this weekend.

No other cards - just mother's day

Strange to deliver it two weeks early too

The simplest explanation is usually the right one. It’s someone playing a weird prank on you. Probably your DH or another family member

Are you sure it’s not one of your kids doing a weird tik tok trend?

The green pen makes me think it’s malicious but I’m not sure the police would be interested really as it’s only been two cards in two years and you haven’t actually been threatened. Not sure there’s much you can do but I hope you get to the bottom of it somehow.

Definitely not DH or DC.

My first guess would be either a nasty family member or in law who disapproves of the relationship and is trying to throw doubt on OPs 'prurity' by suggesting she has another child she hasnt been honest about.

OR an ex partner (or current affair partner) for either you or DH trying to stir marriage discord/fucking with you.

The mistaken identiy seems unlikely as you would think the card would include more details. why make contact at all if you arent going to actually....you know make contact. The mysterious vague cards seem more about disturbing/screwing with you while maintaining distance.

The distance of the first letter followed by the hand delivered second one could be explained by the person actually already living near you/knowing you and delibetaly sending the first while on holiday to throw you off?

I think im leaning towards a love rival or jelous ex. Has dh been talking about a work collegue a lot? have you been contacted by any exes?

If she’s a woman surely she’d remember giving a child for adoption?

DH and I have been together a long time and I get on well with all of his family members. We don't see them particularly often, but there are certainly no problems.

I doubt very much that DH is having an affair, as he was the one who suggested calling the police and told me to contact the neighbours to ask for doorbell footage (there is none, btw). His reaction isn't similar to someone with a guilty secret. He works in a very male environment and hasn't mentioned any female friends particularly. I don't have any reason to suspect an affair. Why would an affair partner send a mother's day card and hand deliver it?

I agree with the pp who think that the green pen makes this really unnerving.
If it weren't for that I would assume it was mistaken identity- that someone had wrongly identified OP as their birth mother.

But who writes in Green pen ? There has got to be some significence In it it's use here.

I agree the police won't be interested atm but definitely keep the card and envelope and definitely be on the alert for any other unusual things happening.

This is what I thought. They have done research looking for their birth mother and have mistakenly found the same name and got your address thinking you are her.

What is green pen supposed to mean? Why some posters say its malicious?

I wouldn't read too much into the green pen. It might be used because it's prettier. Blue and black are boring. Red is usually not something you write with as it can be seen as aggressive. Coloured pens are nicer and green is the most common coloured pen.

It's either a prank (though all possible perpetrators seem to have been ruled out) or intended for someone else. Have you tried Googling your name, and maiden name, to see if anything similar comes up?

Yes, when someone pushes in front of me in a queue my immediate reaction is to track them down and start sending anonymous Mother's Day cards...

I agree with those suggesting mistaken identity, maybe they are angry at being given away (adopted) and waiting for the OP to make contact. (Believing the op is their mum and therefore knows who they are)

Just make sure your Ring doorbell is charged up next year