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Leaving 5year old for a month ?!

56 replies

everybodylovessun · 27/02/2026 17:09

Hey everyone need some cool advice about me having to go away and leaving my son for 5 weeks a bit of a family thing aboard he will be with my mum and dad while I’m gone but I just feel so bad and I have really bad anxiety plus it will be my birthday while I’m gone and I’ve always celebrated with him just wanted any advice from mums that had to go away for a few weeks and what did you do to calm your nerves ?

OP posts:
SoSadSoSadSoSad · 28/02/2026 01:02

No

CrackersAndCaviar · 28/02/2026 02:03

I had to leave my then 2 year old and 7 year old for about 5 weeks to help out my parents. They stayed with their dad and mil. It was ok but I don't think the 2 year old was very happy. Lashed out a lot. I called them every day on video but they weren't really that keen to talk. Dh and mil tried to take them out a lot and have fun with them which helped. Since then I have to leave them every year though now I don't do longer than 2 weeks which I think is better.

I think it's hard and not ideal but I don't think it will cause long term damage or ruin your relationship or anything.

lxn889121 · 28/02/2026 02:07

everybodylovessun · 27/02/2026 17:09

Hey everyone need some cool advice about me having to go away and leaving my son for 5 weeks a bit of a family thing aboard he will be with my mum and dad while I’m gone but I just feel so bad and I have really bad anxiety plus it will be my birthday while I’m gone and I’ve always celebrated with him just wanted any advice from mums that had to go away for a few weeks and what did you do to calm your nerves ?

This is unusual for U.K. families who are really settled, so it isn't surprising that most can't imagine doing it here.

Personally I have never done 5 weeks, but both me and my partner have been away from my son for 2-3 weeks at various points. We are an international family split between far away places, and with work it isn't always possible for everyone to travel together. Last year I had an elderly relative with a medical emergency. My work would let me have time off, but my partner's wouldn't.. so I went back with my son (4 at the time) alone. Equally, my partner has taken my son back to their home twice without me, because I had to work, and they both had time free. We were also split up when moving cities a few years back.

As long as you have two parents, who are both loving, capable, and responsible. Having one of them be away temporarily won't matter. I would only worry about it if the remaining parent isn't capable.

For us, we found video calls helped, but with specific things to do. Not just "chats" because kids often struggle with that. Last time we were apart, I called my son every night and did his bed time stories by video-call. I downloaded some E-books, so he could see the pictures on the screen while I read them. It became our routine for 2 weeks, and was much more effective than just hoping he would leave toys/playing to sit and talk to a camera.

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CrackersAndCaviar · 28/02/2026 02:10

Jrisix · 27/02/2026 18:04

He'll be fine. Expect there to be some disruption when you get back though, everyone will have settled into a new routine without you and it will take time to adjust back.

This is very true for me and dh and the in laws though less of an issue for the kids.

Moonnstarz · 28/02/2026 07:27

Can the dad not bring him on holiday for the week where you are going?
Is it essential you are away for 5 weeks or can the trip be shortened?

In terms of prep I would let his school know so they can understand if he is more tearful or if he shows different behaviour patterns at school (children all react differently).
Can you look at finding any stories about parents going away but coming back.
Will you be able to call each day and at a set time so he knows when to expect to hear from you (kids often like routine)
Has he stayed at grandparents for a weekend before? Do they know his routines? I would try and stick to that. Be careful of over indulging as if he is with them for such a long time will this then be expected that he is always treated as special. Sticking to what he normally does is best - usual meals, usual activities.

Talkinpeace · 28/02/2026 12:49

Its like the world before daily video calling never existed.

No wonder people are so fragile nowadays if parents are told they cannot leave their kids in the care of family for a couple of weeks.

FFS go back to the days before long distance telephone calls
a fortnightly letter if you were LUCKY

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