When I see/speak to/think about my mum I feel.....

[MagdalenaArches]

Fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind.

In my case, fear and dread.

A sense of loss, and sadness that she never got to see her GDC. She's been gone a long time now.

Honestly, you don’t have to do a three hour trip every six weeks. Why do you do it? I wouldn’t .

This describes my situation perfectly.

Frustrated, or downright angry depending on my mood. Disappointed.

When I think of her I feel so sad she's not here anymore but so blessed that she was my Mum. She was the kindest loveliest women I have ever met.
I am 64 now and I realise just how lucky I was to call her my Mum.

Used to it now but sad that i've never had a good supportive relationship. I just go through the motions when I see her and tread on eggshells. Couldn't imagine what it must be like to have a lovely mum. Have tried so hard to be the exact opposite with my children and grandchildren Quite cathartic writing this it's the first time I've ever put it in writing, only my husband knows how I feel.

Unrelenting pain and sadness for never knowing her..she died when I was 15 months old

Tense and defensive. She can’t help but criticise me, both to my face and behind my back. My career, my parenting, my weight, my kids … it’s exhausting.

Rejected and saddened

Disappointment and some resentment but, 20 years after her death, I have come to terms with it. She made me feel mostly worthless and on the extremely rare occasions that she praised me, I was very surprised.

Anxiety, pure anxiety

Loved unconditionally, Safe, Wanted, Needed.

This thread is an eye opener. I now feel very lucky to feel unconditional love from her. She is wonderful.

Unloved, and a mix of complex emotions, I feel sad she is actively dying from AML, I think I’m mourning the mum I never had but desperately needed.

Dread, dissapointment and emptiness.

She is emotionally immature with narcissistic tendencies. Just doesn't have the capacity to be a parent. She has little to no genuine interest in really anyone beyond herself. Firmly stuck in victim mode She can't see beyond herself. It's really sad. I find it sadder now I'm a parent than i did growing up. I lived in hope growing up that she might suddenly be interested in me, now I know it's a pointless relationship that offers nothing but stress to me. I'm low contact moving towards no contact of which she won't really care about.
I can't fathom feeling so little for my children 🤷🏼‍♀️

Deep love and affection. Mum is a wonderful mum, gm and woman. I love her very much and she's my bf. The love I feel for mum is reciprocated and I'm also loved unconditionally and have had mum (and my lovely dad when he was alive) Iin my corner supporting me for all of my life. We have a very strong relationship and I feel blessed.

I'm hoping this doesn't sound too tragic or derail the thread but I wondered if those who feel unconditionally loved safe and wanted could maybe explain what it feels like more and what their mum did to make them feel that way? Is it like having a best friend or better than that?

I hope my children feel that way but I really don't know what it looks like or feels like so I'm navigating in the dark and hoping I get it right. Which I understand all of us are to a degree.

Angry, disappointed, stressed, resentful and sad.

I wish it was different but every time I see her it fills me with dread. If you are lucky enough to have a good mum, make the most of her.

Sad that she’s not here any more.

Sad. She lost her husband (my dad) at 51 and was then killed in a car accident at 69 with her new partner driving and at fault.

My mum has always listened to me. She has never judged me, even when I’ve made some almighty fuck ups in my life. I’m sure she has bitten her tongue a lot!
She sometimes offers advice (in my adult life), but has generally let me make my own choices in life, and has been there for me regardless of the outcome.
She is easy going, doesn’t make a fuss about plans on Mother’s Day, Christmas Day etc, she will go with the flow, which make these sorts of occasions enjoyable for everyone.
she makes my life easier just by being around.

Sad. I love her but we are very different people.

Agree - I hate this "oh whatever you do they will hate you, don't be so complacent". It's absolute bollocks. And those of us with difficult parents are so far from complacent and, if we do now hate our parents it's after much soul searching, giving the benefit of the doubt and asking is it me, am I being too harsh and being hurt time after time.

And the major difference is, if our child does come to us and say you did this wrong, we will not fall into the - oh aren't i awful i can't do anything right - we will listen, be curious , not shut them down and will say sorry.

Terrified for the day I won’t have her. She’s an incredible woman, recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s and deserves so much better than the shit hand she’s been dealt.

But really good if that posters mother was not a good one. A great place to be.

On guard.
stepmum - miss her so much .