Girls at DD’s school cannot wear socks because men and boys feel uncomfortable

[Eastie77Returns]

DD’s school has placed a ban on girls wearing socks due to persistent issues with girls wearing skirts that are too short and not the school’s regulation kilts. According to the e-mail sent to parents, girls wearing socks with said short skirts has resulted in some “members of the school community” feeling uncomfortable. When the issue was raised further by some parents, the (male) Deputy made it clear that it was essentially unfair to male pupils, and presumably teachers, to be made to feel awkward when girls undergarments were visible to them. There have also been issues with boys making suggestive comments to girls in short skirts.

I support the school enforcing school uniform policy but hate the fact that 12 year old DD and her friends are already being policed as to what they can or cannot wear because…men. DD hates the thick black tights she now has to wear. She always wore the correct length skirt and knee high socks.

The situation will apparently be reviewed ahead of the warmer months. I just feel this reinforces the view that girls & women need to ensure they dress in a way that doesn’t attract male attention but boys are not learning that inappropriate comments and behaviour towards a girl because of the way she dresses is completely unacceptable.

By pants do you mean trousers? Or underpants?

im hoping their all wearing underpants!!

I think working with the school to wear some nice tailored trousers is a good idea. You can get lovey work trousers nowadays for women.

I was at an all girls school in the 90s. Lots of girls rolled up their skirts in the toilets at the start of the day and then unrolled them to go home. Typically not a ‘male gaze’ in sight.

No male teachers then? No dads dropping off?

Girls going to school semi naked. Arse on show, jam rag hanging out for everyone's eyes
Yet its somehow the fault of the boys.....

So it’s 100% ok for girls to roll up their skirts - against school uniform policy - to the point where their knickers (or as some people are pointing out, thongs) but not ok for boys to feel embarrassed by having a female bottom flashed at them? Young teenage boys are dealing with hormonal fluctuations that they can’t control - unless you suggest they should have testosterone blockers? - and whilst MOST boys are being taught no means no, girls are equal and should be respected, natural human instincts may well mean half naked bum flashed under a rolled up skirt will give a teenage boy an impromptu hard
on. He’s then the ‘dirty perv’ not the girl who was flashing her arse cheeks.

I’ve seen girls these days walking to school and their skirts are so short even I feel uncomfortable around them. Do you think they should dress that way in the workplace? I’d support the head teacher on this absolutely

👏👏👏👏 they are setting feminist rights back decades. Women campaigned long and hard to be taken seriously, for equal rights, now here we are with girls hanging themselves out semi naked on a meat rack for everyone to gawp at.
Have some self respect girls!!!

God you are disgusting.

i would be furious men/boys shouldn’t be dictating to women/girls what they should or shouldn’t be wearing. There are so many options in this scenario which should be done. I hope the boys are all suitably uncomfortable in their tights and trousers, oh let me guess it doesn’t apply to them.

Make noise about this OP, and if the school leaders aren’t listening, make noise to the Governors and if they don’t listen make noise to the Trust and the press.

I am not suggesting that (some) teenage girls do not want to be attractive to teenage boys.

I am suggesting that when boys learn that a person in authority (in this case the Deputy Head) has instructed girls not to dress a certain way because it makes them uncomfortable and that boys who make suggestive comments are just “boys being boys” they begin to internalise a belief that they are not responsible for their behaviour. There are women on this thread who have said as much as well which is worrying. That girls who wear short skirts deserve the leering and sexualised comments because…what else can you expect from men? The point I’m making is the next step from this is: a girl wearing a short skirt is sexually assaulted and the logic is “well what did she expect?”. It removes blame from the victim, who behaved irresponsibly by wearing suggestive clothes, to the perpetrator who simply couldn’t help himself.

The Deputy should have said short skirts are not permitted because of school policy and left it as that. He also should not have introduced a blanket ban on all girls. The vast majority of girls at DD’s school wear the correct uniform l.

DD’s school tried to ban knee length socks because of the “look”.Reading between the lines it was the short skirt/knee high socks /anime type look that they objected to.Short socks were fine. It did not go down well because that’s not how it works. Police skirt length by any means. Deal with any and all rolling of skirts if you must. Deciding a random length of socks is inappropriate because it’s portrayed as sexy in the media is fucking bonkers.

Were any of those 12 years old?

My DC went to Essex grammar schools. One boys, one girls. But the boys sixth form was mixed. Never saw this, uniform policy was enforced. In sixth form girls were sent home if their skirts were too short, but for the most part they all followed the rules. My DDs stayed at the girls' school and followed the uniform code.

And if a male teenage classmate happens to look, it's natural on their part and not something I see as bad behaviour. The same reason we expect our boys not to sag and show their boxers.

Pretty much every girls school I know has this issue.

I suspect the ban on socks may be due to some wearing over knee socks. This happened in my local high school a few years ago and they made them wear short socks or tights. They look much better now. The problem with them pulling their socks over their knees was they looked like they were walking round wearing stockings and short skirts - all that as missing was the suspender belt!
I'm all for standards of decorum in schools personally. My opinion is if it isn't acceptable in a workplace, then it shouldn't be acceptable in a school. You wouldn't wear a skirt half way up your arse to work, so you shouldn't at school.
This should apply to teachers as well - some of them wear unacceptable stuff as well. Not exactly short skirts - but unprofessional attire.

Well if I could see the crotch of a man’s undies I would definitely feel uncomfortable too. I say this as a mum of girls. This is not about girls or boys. It’s just about dressing decently in public, end of.

It is extremely unpleasant to try to teach to a row of knickers irrespective of the gender of the teachers. However it is completely unacceptable to not let students wear socks, particularly in hot weather, and if tights are thin we can still see underwear anyway.

I used to wear thigh high or over the knee socks as my skirt was long enough that no one could tell... But I was given the choice of tights or socks! My DC did the same.

Thank you. I would be absolutely mortified if my son made crude comments to a girl or woman, regardless of how she dressed. I have taught him it’s never acceptable. No excuses.

I am not sugggesting girls should be allowed to wear whatever they want to school. I am saying that boys should not think that a girl’s attire gives them the right to harass her. I wish women would stop justifying male crappy behaviour.

“Who is looking out for young boys”? Oh dear.

You know boys get erections all the time, right? It’s not just at the sight of a girls underwear. They wake up with them, might get one just sitting on a bus or something else completely mundane. How do we ‘protect’ boys from these involuntary bodily functions? We can’t and we shouldn’t blame them for it either. But blaming girls who are dressed in a certain way for causing erections is equally batshit!

You can legitimately argue that thick tights increase the likelihood of thrush. However I see girls daily in skirts shorter than their blazer. They literally look like they forgot to finish getting dressed. Ideally all parents and all teachers would enforce skirt length rules. The school near us has simply changed to trousers for all, end of issue.

Exactly. The fashion for some boys to wear their trouser waist so low you can see the entirety of their underwear is just as unacceptable

You can’t help what your eyes can see. To stand at the front of a class and see the girls underwear that’s sitting in front of you must be very uncomfortable for the teachers. I cannot understand how parents are allowing there daughters to show off everything they’ve got the the whole nation. Where is the respect that they have for themselves to keep your private parts private. Of course the boys are going to look at them. When boys stop looking at girls and girls stop looking at boys the human race has a problem. Half the girls are parading around like it because they want the boys to look at them and then they complain when they do.

@Eastie77Returnsim sorry if this has been said but how was it communicated to parents? Was this in a meeting or email or some other way?

It’s like you all agree with the Message, but don’t think too much of the messenger.

When’s the last time you’ve been in the classroom? What you’re describing seem to be completely imagined , based on the worst case scenarios presented by some posters. The only time I’ve seen something like underwear it’s been when I’ve dropped something on the floor. The skirt was a perfectly decent length btw .