Girls at DD’s school cannot wear socks because men and boys feel uncomfortable

[Eastie77Returns]

DD’s school has placed a ban on girls wearing socks due to persistent issues with girls wearing skirts that are too short and not the school’s regulation kilts. According to the e-mail sent to parents, girls wearing socks with said short skirts has resulted in some “members of the school community” feeling uncomfortable. When the issue was raised further by some parents, the (male) Deputy made it clear that it was essentially unfair to male pupils, and presumably teachers, to be made to feel awkward when girls undergarments were visible to them. There have also been issues with boys making suggestive comments to girls in short skirts.

I support the school enforcing school uniform policy but hate the fact that 12 year old DD and her friends are already being policed as to what they can or cannot wear because…men. DD hates the thick black tights she now has to wear. She always wore the correct length skirt and knee high socks.

The situation will apparently be reviewed ahead of the warmer months. I just feel this reinforces the view that girls & women need to ensure they dress in a way that doesn’t attract male attention but boys are not learning that inappropriate comments and behaviour towards a girl because of the way she dresses is completely unacceptable.

This. It's terrifying. The problem is, we know what's out there - they don't. They don't see the danger of what they're doing. They think it's funny to get attention from boys (I know I did when I was at high school) because it's unimaginable to them that they could be hurt by them.

I only hope they're allowed to stay this confident their whole lives.

I'd suggest to the school that they spend more time trying to tackle misogynistic comments and behaviour from boys and less time police girls dress. And no, one does not lead to the other.

Wait? So knee high socks with short skirts?

Knee socks are usually part of the younger years uniform with a pinafore. You can’t alter the length of the pinafore but can with a skirt.

That’s why all schools I know, the regulations are you wear tights with a kilt/skirt. Even if skirts are rolled up, legs are still protected from the elements.

I’ve never heard of a school that allows older girls to wear knee socks with skirts.

Caitlin Moran is very good on this in "more than a woman" as others have said it's very complexed and nuanced. It is not new as other's have said similar was happening in from the 60's.

Nothing you say is unreasonable. May be, you can email the school about the deputy’s language.

You said they tried to enforce length but it’s not working as the girls just change it throughout the day. Tights do seem to be an easier solution. It’s a shame that a few girls are spoiling it for the rest.

I’d argue it makes both sexes uncomfortable to see girls in skirts so short you can their pants.

my neighbours daughter was walking up the street the other day and it was atrocious. I told her mother. Because I know she doesn’t leave the house looking like that.

the appropriateness for certain environments. And school is the place for it. It has nothing to do with dressing for or protecting the male gaze.

teachers cannot be playing wack-a-mole with hundreds of students rolling and unrolling their skirts all day.

My daughter was told at school that all girls were not to wear coloured bras because it distracted the male staff .

I actually think the way a lot of girls dress at school is completely inappropriate. Skirts that barely cover their bums with underwear on show. It’s just not appropriate and doesn’t teach them appropriate dress codes for work. If the girls themselves don’t realise they’re making themselves an embarrassment I guess the school needs to do something. It shouldn’t be couched in terms of dressing not to distract men, but a matter of basic self respect .

I hated page 3. It makes me shudder to think about it and I thought it was gross then.

I did, though, love St Trinians. Those girls were pretty badass 😂

This is part of the issue then. At my school it was one skirt no variations. Slightly looser rules in 6th form.

Well IME they grow out of it around 16/17. Dd was all about tinnie, tiny skirts and tops age 14-16. Now she is 19 she dresses appropriately 90% of the time. It's a phase.

I saw page 3 quite a lot, it didn’t bother me but you sort of got normalised to it.

You think it's dangerous to wear more revealing clothing?

Fucking hell. Do us all a favour and never sit on a jury in a rape trial.

Agreed but not new

Why don’t the girls who roll the skirts up just get given detentions every time they’re caught with the skirt rolled up?

I went to an all girls’ school in the 90s where we had to wear a hideous A line skirt, which had to be exactly 1 inch off the ground when you were kneeling. Anyone caught with skirt rolled up got a detention.

When I was at primary school in the 1960s my class teacher wore a mini dress that was so short it came with a pair of frilly knickers in the same material, because when she stretched up to write on the blackboard half her bum was on display. I remember my mum thought her fearlessness was admirable.

Looking at some of the girls walking to school near me the fashion is almost K-Pop style so super short skirts like really short and then like socks pulled up over their knees. Tbh I don’t care what the girls wear but I can see why it’s not school uniform. Knee length socks and a skirt that doesn’t have them freezing is best! Or of course tights but some of the fashion is ridiculous and I don’t know why the girls want to wear these little skirts to school then cover their knees with the socks?!

I’m a teacher and I feel uncomfortable with the way some of my students dress. I have followed girls up the stairs and have seen their pants, even just walking down the corridors the skirts skim their bottom. I avert my eyes. We don’t challenge skirt lengths as the student council said comments on clothing was body shaming. Parents have also complained when asked to buy new skirts for their child. Maybe the SLT have tried to enforce uniform rules but have faced the same backlash from students and parents.

These skirts look like the headbands I wear when washing my face at night.

Ultimately though, this is about reinforcing rules that is best for everyone rather than making it a male vs female issue.

As far as I can see girls need their skirts pulling down and boys need their trousers pulling up! For some reason both sexes feel the need to show their underwear in some way. If I was the school head I would adopt a zero tolerance approach and send anyone home who couldn't wear a skirt or pair of trousers properly.

Good luck with working your way through 500 emails from irate parents.

You don't believe in freedom of choice then when it doesn't suit you? Hopefully if girls are wearing trousers the schools are as strict about their trousers as they usually are about the boys' trousers. It's my experience that girls get away with blue murder. wearing spray-on trousers when the boys are expected to wear proper school trousers. Nothing can be said through, that would be 'sexist'!

I remember there was this one model (because a lot of them were household names) and no matter how many years she was on page three she was never aged more than 18. I used to wonder why but as I got older it seemed a lot clearer why.

This.
Also the DH seems to be playing fast and loose with his career by ignoring every piece of safeguarding and equality training he's ever had.

The kpop groups now wear shorts under their skirts as there was pretty much the same argument about appropriateness (and kpop exploitation, which isn’t a school issue) going on there.

I do think the head has gone about this completely the wrong way.

He could be in serious trouble for that statement.