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Changing times? Surprising (to me) behaviour in hotel

338 replies

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 13:30

I'm just back from a short break in a nice hotel in the Lakes. Fancy hotel in picturesque setting, spa etc. I don't know if I'm just getting old but I was surprised by some of the behaviour of a number of people there (who all looked to be in their 20s or early 30s). Is it just changing times or am I old-fashioned or what? Bear in mind that there are plenty of walkers who use the hotel and I haven't got any issue with less formal behaviour in the right context eg leaving dirty boots in the porch and walking to the bar in their socks.

Dress: fancy hotel restaurant. Women with skimpy, very flimsy dresses more suitable to a nightclub, at dinner. One had the front completely cut out from the bra part to below her waist. Apart from anything she must have been freezing. It was about 4 degrees outside, the fires were lit in the lounges etc, it was NOT a warm night.

Conversely at breakfast, when most people were just dressed casually but not scruffily (i.e. in jeans and jumper or t shirt, or walking trousers if they were going out walking for the day), the younger ones looked like they were taking the bins out or had literally just rolled out of bed, hair all dishevelled bed hair. Quite a few women in old leggings and an oversized hoodie, with slippers. One looked like they were wearing pyjamas. Men in obvious gym shorts and trainers. Clearly they weren't going in the gym straight after a big breakfast so had they just come in from the gym, and were putting their sweaty arses on the chairs? They all looked stand out sloppy compared to everyone else.

There were a couple of other little things which surprised me. After dinner a young woman sat in the lounge had her bare feet up on the low table where you'd put your drink or bar snacks. It was in front of the fire so maybe she was warming her feet but still.....yuck. Just not behaviour I've ever seen before in a nice hotel (or any hotel).

During dinner there was a load of noise from the table behind. Music etc which clashed with the music being played on the restaurant speakers. I turned round and there was a couple in their 20s just watching facebook reels or something on their own phones with volume on high, not interacting or talking to each other at all.

At breakfast, there was also noise from a screen which I could hear from the other end of the long dining room. Dora the Explorer or something on full blast on a screen being watched by a toddler while their parents and grandparents just chatted amongst themselves.

The nightclub gear at dinner is probably the one that didn't bother me that much: woman's right to choose what she wears etc, but the rest just surprised me. It just felt like a drop in standards of behaviour somehow. Not what you would have witnessed even 10 years back.

There was a much older guy in his late 70s or something who walked into the bar in the afternoon to meet some friends and he was dressed very stylishly in a jacket and shirt and was even wearing a hat (like a trilby kind of hat, not a beanie or something). He stuck out a mile, but in a good way. He had nice manners too. No bare feet up on the tables for him Grin Made me wish a bit that we could go back a bit to the days when people made a bit more of an effort to make themselves presentable in public, and to avoid behaving in an anti-social manner.

Have times moved on, and I'm just not keeping up, or have standards of public behaviour dropped?

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 15:33

ChubbyPuffling · 19/02/2026 14:56

So you do want a return to dressing up and only a "certain type" of person going to the theatre?

No I'm happy that the theatre is open to everyone. What I'm not happy with is antisocial behaviour at events that ruin the experience for others. Do people REALLY need lessons in what is acceptable behaviour at the theatre?

OP posts:
Legomania · 19/02/2026 15:37

I am in my 40s and would consider leggings and a hoodie perfectly fine breakfast attire. I draw the line at pyjamas.
I don't get the 'you need to be nicely dressed at breakfast' thing. If I am at a hotel I don't want to get up earlier than I need to (and back in the day would definitely have been hungover) so the getting ready part of my day will happen after breakfast. As long as people are decent and not irritatingly loud, why does it matter what they wear?

ConstanzeMozart · 19/02/2026 15:37

ChubbyPuffling · 19/02/2026 14:56

So you do want a return to dressing up and only a "certain type" of person going to the theatre?

What a weird take on this post. Obviously it's people's behaviour the poster is talking about, not their clothes or what 'type' they are.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 15:37

nomas · 19/02/2026 15:01

Yet another thread moaning about young people.

If someone started a similar thread about old people, people be up in arms and crying ageism.

Edited

Moaning about some behaviour of some people younger than me. No need for sweeping generalisations.

OP posts:
FlowerFairyDaisy · 19/02/2026 15:38

SixtySomething · 19/02/2026 15:19

I will always care about what other people are wearing. It's taking an interest in life. For me, the problem is that the scantily dressed people invariably look so awful, trying to be something they're not.
It offends my aesthetic sense, just like an ugly building does. A nice view trumps an ugly view.
Sorry.
It comes from an interest in the visual world, nothing else. Prefer things to look nice. Lots do feel like this.

Most of the 'scantily dressed' women I see around are young and they look amazing. Depends where you live, I suppose.

Dollymylove · 19/02/2026 15:38

Missj25 · 19/02/2026 14:50

How are the days of looking & dressing smart gone ??
People are well presented going to work aren’t they ? Or they wouldn’t have a job .
Going out at the weekend you’ll find most people like to look nice or to an occasion.
Thankfully the day has gone where a man has to wear a suit & hat ( that he tips off his head to greet a woman by the way, or should i say lady 🙄 ) & women wearing pretty frilly dresses every day .
Like really !!!

Forgot to mention, people had respect for others back then as well

HoppityBun · 19/02/2026 15:39

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 15:26

Surely it can't have been that posh if it's going to attract people with tags?

I don't think spas are inherently posh, anyway, to be honest. I think most people just THINK they're posh and so they attract a cross section of people.

“Posh” is such a bourgeois word. Are you referring to money or to class?

YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 15:39

SixtySomething · 19/02/2026 15:19

I will always care about what other people are wearing. It's taking an interest in life. For me, the problem is that the scantily dressed people invariably look so awful, trying to be something they're not.
It offends my aesthetic sense, just like an ugly building does. A nice view trumps an ugly view.
Sorry.
It comes from an interest in the visual world, nothing else. Prefer things to look nice. Lots do feel like this.

You realise that what YOU are wearing might offend the aesthetic sense of a lot of people? 😂

Goldfsh · 19/02/2026 15:41

I'm with you OP - although I'm in favour of the young lady in the skimpy dress, because at least she dressed up.

I always dress for dinner when I'm in a hotel.

Definitely also noticed the pyjamas at breakfast and leggings/hoody vibe. I think it's vile!

plsdontlookatme · 19/02/2026 15:43

If a behaviour is grim (feet on tables, attending breakfast in sweaty, smelly workout clothes) then it bothers me; if it's just wearing casual or skimpy clothing, then no, not bothered in the slightest

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 15:43

HoppityBun · 19/02/2026 15:24

I know what you mean, but I would just let it go. I suspect I’m older than you and I’m continually amazed, not in a pearl clutching way but in a genuinely bemused way, at the dresses some brides wear. They seem more like negligées to me than bridal gowns, but, there we are. Apparently these days it’s necessary to show your assets in order to prove that you have them.

Times change.

With you on the wedding dresses. Elegant and classy they are not!

OP posts:
plsdontlookatme · 19/02/2026 15:45

I can't imagine being bothered by the sight of someone in leggings and a hoodie at breakfast, or indeed at any time

CommonlyKnownAs · 19/02/2026 15:46

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 14:56

Well, quite. Often when people go away for the weekend they're going to have a shag. The thought of people then wandering around at breakfast post sex and unshowered, with sex hairdo and sweat and bodily fluids accompanying them. Just no.

Realistically, being around people who've recently had sex and not bathed since is a risk you take going out in public. Hat indoors bloke could've stopped to meet someone in a layby on the way, for all you know. Maybe the hat was on to cover his post sex messy hair!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/02/2026 15:48

mcmuffin22 · 19/02/2026 15:26

I don't like any of it (rollers in hair, massove eyelashes, hideous nails) but I can kind of understand the woman dressed for a club at dinner. I think from late teens to mid 20s you have two modes: sloppy casual and glam. Glam mode enabled for going out (even if it's just a meal). She probably didn't think about it not being quite right for a meal in a hotel.

Yeah, you could be right actually. Sloppy casual or dressed for a date (whether that's dinner, nightclub or bar.)

OP posts:
CommonlyKnownAs · 19/02/2026 15:49

Dollymylove · 19/02/2026 14:21

I think the days of looking smart and dressing smart are pretty much over. I was looking at some nostalgic pictures someone had posted from the 1950s and all the men wore suits, shirt and tie, some wore trilbies, the young women looked fabulous, beautiful skirts and blouses, hair well styled, back then many women made their own clothes, I know my mother did (she was a seamstress, which helped) men tipped their hats to ladies, opened doors for them, best of all, these young people strolling along looked really happy.
I wish it was still like that 😊

Fair chance those people bathed less often than the ones OP is bemoaning for potentially being sweaty though! We might perhaps think of those photos differently if we could smell them as well as see them.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 19/02/2026 15:50

Can't say as I've ever noticed anything like this in hotels I've stayed in.

YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 15:50

Missj25 · 19/02/2026 14:50

How are the days of looking & dressing smart gone ??
People are well presented going to work aren’t they ? Or they wouldn’t have a job .
Going out at the weekend you’ll find most people like to look nice or to an occasion.
Thankfully the day has gone where a man has to wear a suit & hat ( that he tips off his head to greet a woman by the way, or should i say lady 🙄 ) & women wearing pretty frilly dresses every day .
Like really !!!

of course the days of looking smart have pretty gone. Is it a positive or negative, that's another question, but it's a fact.

Pre-covid, suits were still a thing, it's only very recently that smart casual is mostly replacing them. No, people are nowhere near as "well presented" as they used to.

Don't get me wrong, I love my trainers but they would have been completely inappropriate at work not that long ago. And we didn't have to wear "pretty frilly dresses", but we WERE smarter. The City and corporate places in general are unrecognisable on that aspect.

The lockdown has lowered the standards massively, gym gear and loungewear are that recent

It makes it even less acceptable for people to wear pyjamas outside, when it's so easy to wear alternatives

Bubble678910 · 19/02/2026 15:51

I somewhat agree with you. I don't have an issue with skimpy dresses etc - as long as people have made an effort. I always think it's a shame though when the woman has made an effort to dress up and then her boyfriend/husband is all slobby with joggers on! You see that a lot where I live and it's disrespectful of the man in my view.
We were going to go for a meal on Sunday after Valentines to a fairly expensive "fancy" place in our town, and then we looked in the window before going inside and there was a table of men in absolutely filthy shorts and trainers (I presume they'd come from football or rugby practice?! I have no idea). There were a few other tables in of people in scruffy clothes too and for us, if you're going to spend up to £60 a head on a meal, you want to feel like it's a special experience. So we didn't go in the end! It just put us off - not the vibe we were after.

The phone and ipad noise you are definitely not being unreasonable! And the feet on the table thing is absolutely vile!!!!!

surrealpotato · 19/02/2026 15:52

I'm with you.

The last funeral, and wedding, I attended, I was shocked at what people felt was appropriate attire for such occasions.

Wedding in a church... Think crop tops, leggings, dresses suited to a hen do.

Funeral, think trainers, miniskirts...

There has definitely been a decline in standards and decorum in society in general.

HeadyLamarr · 19/02/2026 15:52

Pre-covid, suits were still a thing, it's only very recently that smart casual is mostly replacing them.

I don't think that's true. DH last wore a suit to work in about 2005.

Goldfsh · 19/02/2026 15:52

You are right @YourGreenCat - I was at a work event today and pondered the state of everyone's footwear: not just trainers but filthy and muddy!

I'm not investing in shoe polish any time soon....

DeftGoldHedgehog · 19/02/2026 15:52

YourGreenCat · 19/02/2026 15:50

of course the days of looking smart have pretty gone. Is it a positive or negative, that's another question, but it's a fact.

Pre-covid, suits were still a thing, it's only very recently that smart casual is mostly replacing them. No, people are nowhere near as "well presented" as they used to.

Don't get me wrong, I love my trainers but they would have been completely inappropriate at work not that long ago. And we didn't have to wear "pretty frilly dresses", but we WERE smarter. The City and corporate places in general are unrecognisable on that aspect.

The lockdown has lowered the standards massively, gym gear and loungewear are that recent

It makes it even less acceptable for people to wear pyjamas outside, when it's so easy to wear alternatives

I wore my trainers on the Tube to work 30 years ago. Kept my shoes in my desk drawer.

Missj25 · 19/02/2026 15:53

Dollymylove · 19/02/2026 15:38

Forgot to mention, people had respect for others back then as well

Girdle’s , discrimination, institutionalising people for being depressed , women belonged at home rearing children , all the rage back then also .
And you speak of respect.
Please ..

Goldfsh · 19/02/2026 15:54

Ooh yes @DeftGoldHedgehog - that was the thing though: you had your work shoes in the drawer or locker! You would never have worn trainers all day in the office.

irishmollie · 19/02/2026 15:56

Totally agree. I was in a hotel restaurant on Valentines night and most younger couples had cameras out photographing and videoing every meal detail, more time was spent on phones than conversation. One couple even went so far as to setup a tripod - they both ate nothing! Did not even take a bite of their three course meal. Just recorded it. Plus, reels were played with sound on - staff didn’t seem to care.