Changing times? Surprising (to me) behaviour in hotel

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I'm just back from a short break in a nice hotel in the Lakes. Fancy hotel in picturesque setting, spa etc. I don't know if I'm just getting old but I was surprised by some of the behaviour of a number of people there (who all looked to be in their 20s or early 30s). Is it just changing times or am I old-fashioned or what? Bear in mind that there are plenty of walkers who use the hotel and I haven't got any issue with less formal behaviour in the right context eg leaving dirty boots in the porch and walking to the bar in their socks.

Dress: fancy hotel restaurant. Women with skimpy, very flimsy dresses more suitable to a nightclub, at dinner. One had the front completely cut out from the bra part to below her waist. Apart from anything she must have been freezing. It was about 4 degrees outside, the fires were lit in the lounges etc, it was NOT a warm night.

Conversely at breakfast, when most people were just dressed casually but not scruffily (i.e. in jeans and jumper or t shirt, or walking trousers if they were going out walking for the day), the younger ones looked like they were taking the bins out or had literally just rolled out of bed, hair all dishevelled bed hair. Quite a few women in old leggings and an oversized hoodie, with slippers. One looked like they were wearing pyjamas. Men in obvious gym shorts and trainers. Clearly they weren't going in the gym straight after a big breakfast so had they just come in from the gym, and were putting their sweaty arses on the chairs? They all looked stand out sloppy compared to everyone else.

There were a couple of other little things which surprised me. After dinner a young woman sat in the lounge had her bare feet up on the low table where you'd put your drink or bar snacks. It was in front of the fire so maybe she was warming her feet but still.....yuck. Just not behaviour I've ever seen before in a nice hotel (or any hotel).

During dinner there was a load of noise from the table behind. Music etc which clashed with the music being played on the restaurant speakers. I turned round and there was a couple in their 20s just watching facebook reels or something on their own phones with volume on high, not interacting or talking to each other at all.

At breakfast, there was also noise from a screen which I could hear from the other end of the long dining room. Dora the Explorer or something on full blast on a screen being watched by a toddler while their parents and grandparents just chatted amongst themselves.

The nightclub gear at dinner is probably the one that didn't bother me that much: woman's right to choose what she wears etc, but the rest just surprised me. It just felt like a drop in standards of behaviour somehow. Not what you would have witnessed even 10 years back.

There was a much older guy in his late 70s or something who walked into the bar in the afternoon to meet some friends and he was dressed very stylishly in a jacket and shirt and was even wearing a hat (like a trilby kind of hat, not a beanie or something). He stuck out a mile, but in a good way. He had nice manners too. No bare feet up on the tables for him Made me wish a bit that we could go back a bit to the days when people made a bit more of an effort to make themselves presentable in public, and to avoid behaving in an anti-social manner.

Have times moved on, and I'm just not keeping up, or have standards of public behaviour dropped?

I think after covid people stopped caring so much about what they look like and go for comfort over fashion which to me is a great thing. The phones on loud that would piss me off, that is rude

I think the clothes thing is just changing fashions? I see a lot of younger people in slobby tracksuits but with professionally done nails, styled hair and immaculate make up. So they have made a big effort but the style is different from what was previously expected.

Ultimately though who cares.

I'm with you on the loud speakers though.

Bare feet on tables in a public place is gross.
Music/reels/kids' telly being played out loud in public is infuriating. I swear one day soon if someone is playing a social media thing/having a loud conversation on speaker on the bus I will snap and grab the device off them and shove it up their arse.

Oh wish you'd done a poll

Yes, it's grim

I have to go away for work occasionally, and it puts me off going to stay in hotels in a leisurely way not that I've got a lot of money for hotels

But some of the work ones are pretty nice and full of people working... yet full of people slobbing about as if they're in their home

I wouldn't have any thoughts on the lady's dress but the rest of it, yeah, I agree.

ETA - I have no objection to loungewear either

But the ones who are actually slobbing about in their pyjamas like it's their front room...nope.

That's been happening for YEARs where I am. And women will be out at breakfast or lunch with their hair in rollers ready for the evening. I always wonder what tourists think. They've probably never seen anything like it. Just wouldn't happen in Rome or somewhere.

is it not worldwide? I thought it was.

Ooh that's the perfect description, yes! He WAS a natty dresser! I know the old rules about taking your hat off indoors, and I'm sure he did. Didn't see if he took it off, I'm sure he did when his friends arrived.

Yeah, this is totally what I'm trying to say. I'm all for personal choice but context is everything.

I don't know about hotels but the man opposite me on the train yesterday took off his shoes and put them up on the seat next to me.

Noise from screens in public places when people could easily stick some earphones in is an indicator they are entitled and selfish. Or perhaps too stupid to know noise travels 🤣

( Feet on the table is another twatish thing to do ! )

Had I been sat near them I’d have asked for a different table.

YANBU

Nah, that's skanky behaviour to me, I'm afraid. If you want to do that why not have breakfast brought to your room?

As for not really being bothered about the feet on the table, well, just shows you. People's feelings have DEFINITELY changed about standards.

It sounds like you're getting old OP. I don't mean that in an insulting way, just that as people get older they tend to look around and feel baffled by how people behave and how things have changed. My gran, born in the 1930s, would have been horrified at a woman entering a bar on her own - it was just not the done thing when she was young and in some places it was actually not allowed.

That said, feet on the table is gross. I mostly feel that way because I think feet are gross and I don't want to see them at all.

I dont think there anything wrong with a hoodie and leggings, at least they are covered up!! I see a lot of young women out who seem to dress in the very minimal of clothing, Ive seen quite a few young girls ( high school age) seem to be walking around in knickers. I almost asked a couple of them if they realised their skirts had fallen off but realised in the nick of time that these garments were actually supported to be shorts 🙄

Yuck.
I literally don't go anywhere anymore, unless it's a necessity.
Not missing out on much.

I agree. I often see people in decent hotels come down in pyjamas and I find it really grubby and unpleasant.

Big cities are where you can often see all sorts of outfits. There could have been reasons for all those outfits. Black tie could have been going to an event later, scantily dressed could be going onto a nightclub. Jeans and trainers could be tourists who've been out and about all day and just need to eat.

Oh god, constant photos and selfies are the WORST. I want to tell them to just enjoy themselves and stop posing.

i wonder if its partly due to the different clothing styles that are available these days ? and pople want to dress differently rather than all similar ?

I’ve noticed it at the Theatre in the last 15 or so years. Now I’m not expecting ball gowns or Dinner Jackets but it just feels as if people don’t make ‘an effort’ anymore for an expensive night out. ‘Back in the Day’ you’ve wear your best clothes to a nice dinner or the Ballet/West End Show, now it’s turn up in your scruffs with a carrier bag of cans.

The spa was in a separate building. Not all hotel guests had booked the spa.

It's also open to outside customers.

I was there for relaxation too. I still managed to avoid going to breakfast in my slippers or my sweaty gym gear.

My bug bear is leggings and a short top on anyone that's not in a gym or pregnant.
I don't want to see a slightly filtered version of someone's buttocks and arse crack, especially not at breakfast.
Just wear a long top.

Standards are slipping, many people are grubby and I also find it all rather grim OP.

I went to a very posh spa the other day and noticed that the guy leaving my hot tub was sporting an ankle tag. People are just fucking shameless.

How are the days of looking & dressing smart gone ??
People are well presented going to work aren’t they ? Or they wouldn’t have a job .
Going out at the weekend you’ll find most people like to look nice or to an occasion.
Thankfully the day has gone where a man has to wear a suit & hat ( that he tips off his head to greet a woman by the way, or should i say lady 🙄 ) & women wearing pretty frilly dresses every day .
Like really !!!

Out of curiosity, what was the reason you didn't just get changed before you went to breakfast? Why did it need to wait until you'd gone back to your room?

I don't blame single people for being on their phones (if volume is down). I've done it myself - who else am I going to talk to? But young couples who are supposed to be at the "obsessed with each other" stage of life.....no, I don't get it . How can you not have anything to say to each other?

Which hotel was it OP so I can avoid it as we go to the Lake District a lot. Maybe stick to the YHAs like I have done for last few stays. Everyone I talked to was lovely and dinner bargainacious even though it was deep fried from frozen.

Well, quite. Often when people go away for the weekend they're going to have a shag. The thought of people then wandering around at breakfast post sex and unshowered, with sex hairdo and sweat and bodily fluids accompanying them. Just no.