Would people be understanding of my deep fear of motorways?

[scaredofmotorways]

I know people will criticise me. People will probably come on here and say I shouldn’t have a licence if I’m this petrified.

I passed my test almost 10 years ago and I’ve never driven on a motorway. Every time I’ve tried I’ve had a panic attack. If I’m near one I begin to panic I’m going to end up on it by accident. I’ve tried to face my fear but I end up so worried I can’t do it.

I think it stems from the fact I grew up miles from any motorways so hardly ever went on them as a passenger. I also know someone who died on a motorway and it’s in my head that if you are in a crash on the motorway you will almost certainly die due to the speed.

I am a perfectly fine and competent driver around towns and A roads. But the motorway scares me even as a passenger, I feel like it’s dancing with death.

The problem is I now live closer to a motorway and there are occasions work want me to go somewhere where that would be the easiest way. But i won’t do it, I would rather take the train which takes longer and is expensive.

I haven't owned up as I think they would view me as pathetic.

Please don’t say I should just face my fear and do it. I have tried but exposure to fears can make things worse. I’m asking if there would be any understanding about this if I was to confide in someone, or if I am just pathetic.

My SIL won’t drive on motorways ….but it doesn’t affect her work….if driving is part of your job role and it’s more costly and time consuming to use a train then it becomes an issue…talk to your manager ….see what they say

Not pathetic, everyone has fears.
People would find my fears of spiders and butterflies pathetic as a grown woman 😂
If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it. I used to be worried when I first drove and always chose ‘avoid motorways’ on my maps but I gradually started doing them and I do prefer them because they are basically just a straight road, if it helps you can stay in the slow lane as well.

Maybe one day you’ll get there but there’s no point forcing yourself into a panic attack! X

It’s not part of my job but there are occasions where they are meetings off site etc. Not too often thankfully but it can happen.

I think if you’re willing to go the “long way” round just carry on with that- things might change and you might then be more motivated to make it work, but you’re clearly not at the moment.

I don’t think it’s pathetic, fears aren’t rational

I agree everyone has fears or things they don’t like to do for reasons which other people may not understand. For me I’m rubbish at parking and will put myself out rather than have to park somewhere difficult.

Have you ever spoken to a driving instructor about it? I don’t think you should face your fear on your own if you were ever to try again.

Thank you. I suppose i fear judgement that I shouldn’t have a driving licence if I’m scared of motorways. Driving is a life line to me.

Would it be worth doing a few lessons on the motorway with an instructor guiding you?

The worst thing you could do would be to go on a motorway when you lack confidence to do so.

Statistically they are the safest of roads in terms of number of accidents to number of users. And allegedly more so with the advent of “smart” motorways.

I haven’t, mainly because my past with driving instructors was learning was not good. I had a woman who would tell me I was stupid and put me down because I don’t find parallel parking easy. She made me more anxious as she was always putting me down so I failed my test several times with her. I think got another one for a few weeks and passed. Unfortunately he’s dead now.

Another irrational fear I have is that a driving instructor would think I definitely shouldn’t have a licence due to this fear and try and get it revoked.

Not at all OP, tbh lots of people have the exact same fear as you! I know you said you don't want to have to try it but it can be overcome. If it's just about telling people then I really wouldn't worry.

Statistically yes, but when there are accidents it seems more likely to result in a death

What about dual carriageways with big junctions and slip roads? They are exactly the same driving experience as motorways. Could you gradually work up to that?

If you want to resolve this have a think about hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis – it can be very effective in dealing with phobias (amongst other things!).

If it makes you feel any better, I definitely won't judge you. In my opinion, you are driving the most difficult part; traffic lights, cyclists, pedestrians, roundabouts, potholes, unmarked lanes, etc! And doing it well. For me the motorway is the easy part, you just stay in your lane and drive, so don't beat yourself up.

I was the same, the Dr prescribed me propronanol which has hugely helped x

A roads are worse than motorways imo.

Do a pass plus or something..focus completely on the fast roads.

I hate driving but I don’t mind motorways as they are the safest way to drive. They are straight roads and the traffic constantly moves. There is no starting and stopping. I agree it’s fast but it’s safe.

I always wonder this with people who say they don't do motorways.

My nearest A road is at least 2 lanes, dual carriageway, mostly national limit, all slip road junctions for 60+ miles south from here. I very rarely drive on a "motorway" but to all intents and purposes it's the same thing. Presumably OP you wouldn't drive on those either?

I won't either mostly. I only mention on a need to know basis. Mine stems from us being in an accident.

I do but they are the local roads I know well so it feels second nature. As I don’t go on motorway I don’t really drive more than 60-70 miles away so I don’t go on many ‘unknown’ A roads.

I understand , i am a competent fairly confident driver but i have never /probably never will drive on a motorway , i absolutely hate them ,even as a passenger .
I know all about them being safer etc ,makes no difference.
We all have our fears and worries ,no one has the right to judge you.

It's fine, if you only drive on roads you are comfortable on, what's the problem? It really is no one else's business.

I hate the threads on here with people going on about it. In real life a lot of people fear motorways. If it bothers you tske some extra lessons, if it doesn't just drive the longer route or take public transport.

More people die on A roads or dual carriageways than motorways, there are more opportunities for collisions, junctions etc, so motorways are actually safer.
I totally understand why motorways are scary though. Why not book some advanced driving lessons, so you go onto a motorway with a calm instructor who has dual control, that might help you gradually get used to motorways ? I am going to do this as I’m learning to drive at the moment, I live very far from a motorway so it won’t come up in my lessons or my test. If I pass my test I am going to continue having lessons to cover motorways and other stressful situations that I haven’t had to tackle.

I will drive through central London - Hyde Park Corner etc - with ease but never a motorway.
It's illogical and infuriating. OP I really feel for you because I know how that panic feels.

You could not read them or reply to them. How odd you seem.