Would people be understanding of my deep fear of motorways?

[scaredofmotorways]

I know people will criticise me. People will probably come on here and say I shouldn’t have a licence if I’m this petrified.

I passed my test almost 10 years ago and I’ve never driven on a motorway. Every time I’ve tried I’ve had a panic attack. If I’m near one I begin to panic I’m going to end up on it by accident. I’ve tried to face my fear but I end up so worried I can’t do it.

I think it stems from the fact I grew up miles from any motorways so hardly ever went on them as a passenger. I also know someone who died on a motorway and it’s in my head that if you are in a crash on the motorway you will almost certainly die due to the speed.

I am a perfectly fine and competent driver around towns and A roads. But the motorway scares me even as a passenger, I feel like it’s dancing with death.

The problem is I now live closer to a motorway and there are occasions work want me to go somewhere where that would be the easiest way. But i won’t do it, I would rather take the train which takes longer and is expensive.

I haven't owned up as I think they would view me as pathetic.

Please don’t say I should just face my fear and do it. I have tried but exposure to fears can make things worse. I’m asking if there would be any understanding about this if I was to confide in someone, or if I am just pathetic.

I hate driving generally and especially motorways.
I don’t think it’s irrational as there are so many bad drivers around. I have been in bad crashes not caused by me so I don’t feel my fear is irrational at all.

I’m exactly the same, OP. I’m not safe to drive on the motorway. I panic so much that I’m unsafe. I don’t even go on the motorway as a passenger unless it absolutely can’t be avoided. When I tried to drive on a motorway, my hands were sweating so much I couldn’t grip the wheel, my legs were trembling on the pedals, and my vision started to go due to the panic. It was unsafe and I’ll never attempt it again.

Dual carriageways are also not great, but like you, I drive on one local one I am familiar with. I don’t enjoy it.

Work wise, you can work on the train, so it’s a more productive journey.

It's safer for everyone for you to keep doing what you're doing by not driving on motorways. That's ok, and you can continue taking the train for work meetings.

It's perfectly ok to accept that this is something that you are deeply uncomfortable with. You are not pathetic, if anything, you're self-aware, secure and pragmatic.

It's fine if you are happy with your life as it is, it doesn't matter what other people think. If it's something you'd be interested in getting over you could see if your local mhs talking therapies service would offer you some graded exposure therapy. I have worked with lots of people over the years using this technique to get over various phobias....dogs, spiders, foods, transport, buttons....

Is it slip roads you dont like? You can just stay in the left lane if you dont want to go too fast but imo motorways are the safest roads, everyone is going in thr same direction/no cars doing stupid overtakes the wrong way/no blind country bends/no cyclists.

I dislike A roads the most as theres no barrier!!

There are around 10 miles of country lanes and an adjacent motorway between my house and my sister’s. She will only drive the lanes, I the motorways faster, straight lines. I avoid country lanes at all costs - can’t stand them, it’s not a fear - they weirdly make me feel slightly car sick even as the driver. I’d avoid where possible for work too. It’s the same in reverse. As long as you get to places on time, I dont see the issue, and think most workplaces would be fine with it - especially if you’re using public transport - sustainability and all that!

No I don’t think you are being unreasonable but it’s not anyone else’s business really.
If you can still get to where you’re needed for work in your own way, it’s not affecting anyone else and is only yourself you are inconveniencing.

I think motorways are very dangerous - it’s the HGV’s with their blind spots, people on phones distracted etc while driving at speed, people undertaking recklessly etc… it’s awful.
I had a really bad experience myself on one recently and it’s really put me off now.
I’d never choose drive on them unless I absolutely had to if there was no other option.

Definitely get a few lessons with an instructor. After I passed my test I took an extra lesson for Motorway driving - best thing I did.

I drive on Motorways a few days a week for work and love singing along to my music in my car. It is one of my happy places.

It's not pathetic to be scared of them but you are limiting yourself by not driving on them.

I think you’re worrying about it too much OP. Loads of people don’t drive on motorways. I was one for a while but I did decide to try it one day and realised it wasn’t that bad, and I got a job with a long motorway commute so I got used to it. That was a long time ago, and now I don’t do that journey any more I’m definitely more nervous and do try to avoid the motorway where I can.

Do you actually want to drive on the motorway? You could book driving lessons, which is a good way to get some confidence.

Have read the OP.

Book some driving lessons and learn to drive on the motorway.

Dual carriageways and motorways are safer than eg country lanes because collisions are unlikely to be head-on. The relative velocities are lower.

If you're going 50 on a country lane and so is the person approaching you, if you collide you smack into each other at 100mph.

If an idiot is speeding at 80mph and you're doing 65 on a motorway, if you collide then it's a 15mph collision.

Don't be afraid of motorways op. Knowledge is reassurance

My DM has never driven on motorways as she’s too anxious, but this meant we always took long over complicated ways to get anywhere that also involved traffic.

I don’t drive in motorways either. Don’t like the speed and that there’s no escape until the next junction, which can be many miles away.,

Are you OK as a passenger? Could you get more exposure that way and work up to actually driving on one in tiny increments - lots of passenger rides, one as a passenger with an instructor then busy carriageways driving with an instructor, then finally a quieter motorway on a quiet day?
I'm totally fine on motorways but I have a fear of accidentally ending up on a black run when skiing so I hate any rubs that cross them. Totally irrational but a real dear all the same do I get it

Some satnavs have a “don’t go in the motorway” feature.

you are not the only one.

I think as long as your fears aren’t having a hugely negative effect on anyone else then it’s up to you to do what makes you comfortable. If it’s only putting you out then that’s your choice.

Is it possible to catch a train then can or bus or lift on normal roads?

As long as you give yourself enough time and don't inconvenience other people you shouldn't have to use them. Or tell others which roads you do or don't use.

I'd try and just make my own arrangements without really raising the issue. But if asked I'd say I have a phobia of motorways. No need to say why or linger on the subject.

I used to work with someone who only ever drove to the supermarket and to her mum’s house. She wouldn’t even drive to work, her husband dropped her off and picked her up. When she traded her car in, it had done less than 10k and the car was 15 years old.

That was what she was comfortable with and it’s nobody else’s business.

Motorways are really boring to drive on anyway so you’re not missing much. If you think it would improve your confidence though, it’s always worth having a few additional lessons. A good instructor won’t judge you.

You are definitely wrong about the categorisation of roads by deaths, rural roads account for over half of fatal accidents (motorways have many fewer accidents).

I was terrified of motorways but overcame my fears with a sympathetic driving Instructor (Google driving instructor for nervous drivers)

In Great Britain, the majority of road fatalities occur on rural roads, which account for over half of all fatal crashes. In 2024, an estimated 1,633 people died on roads, with motorcyclists seeing a 9% increase in deaths. Car occupants make up the highest percentage of total casualties (54% in 2025).
GOV.UK
+2
Fatalities by Road Type (General Trends)

• Rural Roads: Highest risk area, accounting for over 50% of fatalities, where drivers and riders are three times more likely to be killed per mile than on urban roads.
• Urban Roads: High density of incidents, particularly involving vulnerable road users.
• Motorways: Generally safer per mile, but high-speed collisions often result in severe outcomes.
• GOV.UK
• +4

I hate driving generally and have never driven on a motorway despite passing my test 40 years ago. I am also a terrible motorway passenger. I would rather travel anywhere on public transport than drive. I am not worried about spiders, snakes, heights like some other people are and think that we all just have things which cause us fear. As I said to someone the other day, if you asked me to drive to the centre of our city I would refuse but if you asked me to find my way to Florida for example via a bus, train, plane and taxi, it really wouldnt bother me.

Hey, i can totally relate,I've been driving for 16 years and im terrified of motorway driving,I will go on my sat nav and put it to getting to my destination non motorway! Always takes me alot longer but at least im less stressed etc.My son and hubby always tease me and don't understand but id rather drive safely and not panic so I drive my way! Feel your pain!

This.

I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I could reverse a tractor and trailer round hairpin bends with my eyes shut.

I drive country roads, without thinking, often getting out to reverse others cars for them when needed, including towing them out ditches.

but I know my comfort zone, there are no motor ways near here, and if we do go somewhere like that I’m not confident enough with others and the volume of traffic so don’t do it.

doesnt impact my life in anyway. Lovely to go on train.

I was the same but eventually the ridiculousness of trying to get to places in other ways made me face my fear.

I did a few practice journeys (driving one junction) did lots of breathing exercises and positive affirmations.

It’s really no different to driving on A roads.

My hairdresser has always said absolutely no way she will ever drive on the motorway… it’s her choice and why should anyone question it.

you do you lovely!

Yes this is because relative velocities are high on rural roads. They are narrow and winding, increasing the chance of a head on collision.

The only reason I don't like driving on a motorway is because it's so boring I'm afraid I'll get drowsy. But I really, really hate country roads. They're terrifying because local drivers know the turns and bends and go too fast round them.