Funeral etiquette

[StarlingTheConqueror]

I’m helping dh cousin to organise a funeral for her father (not dh uncle). And I’m a bit baffled by it all. Now I’m not British. I’ve been to a few funerals in the U.K. but still….
Can I ask what you’d see as ‘normal’ for a funeral?

1- you’d expect direct family members to come with their +1 (not the new bf/gf but significant other/partner/married)
2- people asking who is going to do the eulogy because ‘Theyre looking forward to learn more about <insert name of the deceased>’. These are direct family members.
3- people being open'y critical that there is no church service and only the very close family (that will be the cousin and his 2 dds. Atm he doesn’t want anyone else there) will be at the crematorium.

Im trying to field a lot of the questions/comments for him and I’m baffled as to what to answer…..

A celebrant or master of ceremonies is a useful person to have at crem or other venue. They basically lead the event especially important if family become distressed so worth bearing in mind.

If it's other family causing agro may I suggest a round robin email to all the family laying out what will be happening and why, eg non religious at request of the deceased, tiny service at crem - no eulogy, memorial / wake where there will be speeches, photos, refreshments etc. And add - everyone grieves in their own way and this is the way (cousin) has chosen to mark the death of his father, ie following his wishes.

Went to a lovely memorial wake last week at a restaurant in a garden centre - there were speeches, tears, laughter, photos, and a cream tea. Perfect. In fact I have no idea if the chap is being buried or cremated - none of my business and family chose not to share.