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Original poster

For the love of God why am I such an idiot?!

112 replies

scoobydeedoo · 14/02/2026 11:35

Please help me feel better about what a tit I am!

There I was in Herons just casually browsing the frozen bargains, waiting for DH to catch up with me after parking the car. He comes to stand next to me, I glance up and see his grey coat and think "good he found me".

Then because I'm a creep, I siddle up to him and say under my breath in my sweetest Southern belle accent "well I thought I spied me a sexy man". I'm sure you can guess where this is going? I looked up, it was NOT DH but a complete bloody stranger 😭 I stand there and look at him for a few seconds realising what I've done while he determinedly avoids my gaze and then walks off.

I don't think I've ever had such a moment where I have wanted the ground to swallow me 😳

OP posts:
Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 14/02/2026 11:37

😂😂😂😂😂

You probably made his day

GentleSheep · 14/02/2026 11:37

Oh no!! 😂😂😂

Bonkers1966 · 14/02/2026 11:37

Happy Valentine's 💐

IveStillNotGotThisFiguredOut · 14/02/2026 11:38

Did he at least smile? 😆

thepartyistoday · 14/02/2026 11:39

Course this happened 🙄

Coffeeishot · 14/02/2026 11:39

Oh no 😂 years ago.I held (not) Dh in a shop i was mortified you will be cringing about this forever.

Original poster
scoobydeedoo · 14/02/2026 11:39

IveStillNotGotThisFiguredOut · 14/02/2026 11:38

Did he at least smile? 😆

No he just kept looking into the freezer. Is it too much to hope that he didn't hear me?!

I tried to get into a complete strangers car yesterday thinking it was ours, this definitely tops that though 😭

OP posts:
Ginor · 14/02/2026 12:04

Coffeeishot · 14/02/2026 11:39

Oh no 😂 years ago.I held (not) Dh in a shop i was mortified you will be cringing about this forever.

Haha 😆 when I was heavily pregnant, I was Christmas shopping with Dh and I crouched down to look at something on the bottom shelf. I realised I couldn’t stand up again without assistance so I grabbed Dh’s hand and he kindly helped me up.. only, as I was getting to my feet, I realised I’d grabbed the hand of a complete stranger.
Thankfully he was a gent and was happy to help 😅

Dollymylove · 14/02/2026 12:07

This is so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣 poor bloke.
What did your DH say? Did you actually tell him? 😅😅

Snipples · 14/02/2026 12:08

Aww that’s brilliant! Properly made me laugh 😂

Original poster
scoobydeedoo · 14/02/2026 12:11

@Ginor 😂😂 there are some good men willing to help a pregnant woman in need!
I told DH as soon as I saw him, he thought it was hilarious and is probably never going to let me live it down

@Coffeeishot I am beyond grateful that I didn't decide to go in for a cheeky bum graze as I've been known to do!

OP posts:
Namechangedagain56 · 14/02/2026 12:11

i approached a member of staff in Asda who helped me locate what I was looking for, get my trolley to the til and he kindly helped me unload it before he told me he didn’t work there and was just doing his shopping. I still laugh about it now

Oxborn · 14/02/2026 12:12

Takes me back to when i thought i saw my sister in a shopping centre on a snowy day ran behind put my cold hands on her fsce shimmered up and down whilst saying ooo its cold and yes it wasnt her 🤣🫣

Coffeeishot · 14/02/2026 12:17

Ginor · 14/02/2026 12:04

Haha 😆 when I was heavily pregnant, I was Christmas shopping with Dh and I crouched down to look at something on the bottom shelf. I realised I couldn’t stand up again without assistance so I grabbed Dh’s hand and he kindly helped me up.. only, as I was getting to my feet, I realised I’d grabbed the hand of a complete stranger.
Thankfully he was a gent and was happy to help 😅

Show quote history

Well least he was decent enough to just go with it 😀

Tonissister · 14/02/2026 12:20

Sympathy, OP.

I did worse. I sidled up behind DH in a very crowded market and gave his bum a little squeeze. Only it wasn't DH. It was a man with identical coat, hair colour and cut and similar jeans. I almost got down on my knees to apologise. Poor man just looked shocked.

BellyPork · 14/02/2026 12:23

Thank you all for making me laugh.

DinoLil · 14/02/2026 12:33

These have made me laugh!

I saw my parents in a supermarket a few years ago, bounced up to them to say hello and gave them a hug. They looked at me like I was a crazy person! It was my parents but they just didn't recognise me because they weren't expecting me to appear out of nowhere.

I also had a lady climb into the passenger seat of my car and ask to be taken to an address just outside of town. I said I'd be happy to help but I wasn't a taxi and so not insured. She shot off without a word!

BiscoffCheesecakes · 14/02/2026 12:36

I went bowling with some colleagues recently. One guy got 2 strikes in a row. Another colleague told him that if he gets a strike on his next go he'd have to do a turkey impression as 3 strikes is known as a 'turkey'. I then said, a little louder than planned, "if I got 3 strikes in a row I'd be gobbling all around the room!' Took me a few seconds to realise why everyone was laughing...

OP, that's hilarious & if he heard you I'm sure you made his day 🤣

Cheepcheepcheep · 14/02/2026 12:36

Tonissister · 14/02/2026 12:20

Sympathy, OP.

I did worse. I sidled up behind DH in a very crowded market and gave his bum a little squeeze. Only it wasn't DH. It was a man with identical coat, hair colour and cut and similar jeans. I almost got down on my knees to apologise. Poor man just looked shocked.

I almost got down on my knees to apologise

I really don’t think that would have helped the overall impression @Tonissister

Tonissister · 14/02/2026 12:38

Cheepcheepcheep · 14/02/2026 12:36

I almost got down on my knees to apologise

I really don’t think that would have helped the overall impression @Tonissister

Show quote history

Grin. I know. But I hope my apology was profuse enough for him to realise I wasn't a weird and seedy perve.

Original poster
scoobydeedoo · 14/02/2026 12:57

BiscoffCheesecakes · 14/02/2026 12:36

I went bowling with some colleagues recently. One guy got 2 strikes in a row. Another colleague told him that if he gets a strike on his next go he'd have to do a turkey impression as 3 strikes is known as a 'turkey'. I then said, a little louder than planned, "if I got 3 strikes in a row I'd be gobbling all around the room!' Took me a few seconds to realise why everyone was laughing...

OP, that's hilarious & if he heard you I'm sure you made his day 🤣

We most definitely need the laugh reaction back 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
scoobydeedoo · 14/02/2026 12:58

Tonissister · 14/02/2026 12:20

Sympathy, OP.

I did worse. I sidled up behind DH in a very crowded market and gave his bum a little squeeze. Only it wasn't DH. It was a man with identical coat, hair colour and cut and similar jeans. I almost got down on my knees to apologise. Poor man just looked shocked.

That is worse! 😭😂 You have definitely made me feel better after reading this!

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 14/02/2026 12:59

At least you didn't hold his hand!

AnchorWHAT · 14/02/2026 13:13

Not the same but years ago DH job and mine overlapped once in a while and we both were attending the same conference, DH had been one of the speakers and at the break I sidled up to him and gave his bum a little tap. Several of my colleagues who didn't know he was my DH were shocked at my familiarity with the guest speaker.

JillMW · 15/02/2026 16:09

Garden centre, walking round hand in hand chatting to my husband. He often does not chat back so silence not unusual. I hear someone that sounds like my husband laughing. Look round, husband is behind me. Look up to see that I am holding hand of another tall gentleman. We release hands, I say nothing, he says nothing and we part company. Husband choking with laughter for next half hour.