Parenting is just one worry after another

[BlueOceanFish]

My children are teens now but it’s relentless worry. my current worries are:

• Illness that won’t shift - possible tonsils or glandular fever or who knows what. This is zapping their energy and they are just miserable
• worry about GCSEs - the stress, not getting results needed
• finding school hard and demanding and just being exhausted as a result
• not getting on with Dad who just wants to do a fun activity with one of them and they don’t want to

i know these aren’t massive but it’s the little draining things.

Im working long hours currently in a very stressful job. DH is running his own company.
i just don’t feel present. I wish I did not have to work!

No one tells you about the relentless worry!!!

Sprry a rather dull post but I can’t sleep. Just needed to put it down and see if anyone gets it.

Son out at a disco. He’s 18. I’m guessing this worry thing is for life!! I would say the school thing should be less of a worry (easy to say I know)- if they don’t do well they’ll find a way into whatever’s right for them

The worries get bigger as they do.

Mum to 5 sons aged 35 down to 25 and can confirm that you never stop worrying about them! It's a mother's lot in life! But they are also the greatest joy ❤️

Not just "one worry after another" though.

Yes, you always worry about them, but my experience is there is a huge amount of pleasure seeing your dc growing up into fun, capable, loving humans.

Wait until the sex and driving (not at the same time) phase. Both potential life ruiners.

It is relentless. Sadly. You just have to hope it’ll be ok and generally it is.

I feel you op. Two years in and out of hospital for 10 year old for something actually minor in isolation but not when it's persisted for two years. Another op soon, to be confirmed later this month. And that's alongside the pressure of SAT'S which aren't important per se but are highlighting academic struggles in some places, and problems with his high school allocation.

Then the 6 year old cane out in massive blotches Friday so managed with urgent GP appt and excellent 111 care but thought it would end up in urgent care, and the other one keeps wetting himself.

Figure this is just how life is forever lol

It’s so true I’m constantly worried about all of my kids on a low level and often at least one on a higher level.

And as they get older, it just seems to get more worrisome.

I always used to think my mother was a bit of a nervous wreck but I looking back we were just all really worrying her.

Yep my dd has just turned 20yo, current worries are;

She wants to go to Australia travelling
Shes seeing a new bf and I worry about her getting pregnant or heart broken.
Shes off to uni in September and I’m worried about the loans and cost of it.

Big kids big worries 🫤

As they get older the worries become more serious.
I’d do anything to only have to worry about grazed knees, reading book levels, sippy cups, etc.
Now my worries centre around big, life changing stuff like getting home safely after a night out (being awake until he gets home at 2am). Waiting to hear his car pull up in the drive so I know he is home safely. Praying that him and his girlfriend are taking contraception seriously enough. Uni grades. Job prospects. The list is endless and exhausting!

I hear this. It started before they were born and never stopped. I have one with multiple anaphylactic allergies too, so there's never a break from it.

Never ends.
My adult son is in prison, the ultimate nightmare.
Permanently on my mind.

My worries are getting my kids on the property ladder. They have no inheritance money from either side. And they've moved away to get on the career ladder and both pay nearly 1k a month rent. So I feel its up to us to try to save a deposit for them. And we are low earners.

Its all one big worry.

I'm sorry to hear this, how hard for you, and nothing you can do about it.

Thank you. Yes, I am powerless which adds to my pain.
I have tapped into my higher power for support.
Thank you for your kindness

No one tells you about the relentless worry!!!

To be fair, they absolutely do. And it's pretty obvious anyway. Having kids means giving away control of your happiness, for ever.

@Newyearawaits …sending Mums hugs 💐It really does put all our concerns into perspective.X

At least the teens live with you so you stand a chance of having some influence. Mine are late ‘30s and married with children of their own. No you don’t stop worrying and then they give you grandchildren to worry about as well…

As a Mum of three I realise that there is only so much we can do for our children!
IRL there are only a small number of parents that can give enough to their children ,to really make a difference.

I've got 5 sons too, younger than yours though, aged 19 to 11. Nice to "meet" someone who isn't going to say "what, how many?" Or pat me on the arm and tell me to keep trying and I will get a girl one day!

It never stops. I try not to pass on my fretting to my now adult kids, but I'm not sure I'm very good at it. Then if it's something serious I mask my concerns with a casual breeziness that I worry comes across as indifference. It's hard to get right when both caring and seeming not to care are wrong.
In spite of all that angst, we have a good relationship.

@elliejjtiny and @Endofyear .
Im jealous of you both i wanted to have at least 4-6 boys, i only had 2 boys.

The worry of GCSEs is normal. I feared it, until i got my bad results, then i became optimistic and tried to undo the damage of lazy working at college. It worked but i have worked very demanding no brainer jobs ever since.
The moral of the story is - focus.

This is actually a comforting thread. It seems that the worries go on forever. As someone said up thread, the bigger they get, the bigger the worries. Lots of my friends were delighted when their children finished school, university, got jobs, relationships and eventually had children of their own. I can’t sleep because I am so worried about my grandchild with SEND. My child is eaten up with anxiety and I don’t know how best to help. I see posts on here from new mothers horrified by lack of sleep in the early days and think how the niggling worries and anxieties will spiral as their children grow.
Sending you best wishes and support @Newyearawaits💐

Agree the bigger the kid, the bigger the worry. Mine are 24, 21 and 18 and I worry as much now as I ever have.

It's what mums and dads do.