Honest answers please- sex frequency!!

[Jaberwocker]

Hi everyone,
I’m keen to find out how often other married couples in my situation really have sex.

we’re 45 & 46, 1 teen at home. We both work in busy demanding jobs. I’ve realised that we haven’t had sex since June last year!!!!

how often are others in our age category etc having sex?

Oh god, this is a very popular subject on here atm

Twice a week minimum, I have 2 teens at home 3 when dd is back from uni.

2/3 times a week

early/mid forties

I can't say due to an unfortunate problem with the computer we have lost both our spreadsheet and score cards. Sorry.

2/3 times a week. Fit around when the teen is out of the house. June is a long time ago. Have you talked about it?

Sorry lost count 😆

3/4 times a week late 30’s/early 40’s

Are either of you bothered by the lack of sex?

Probably an average of twice a week, late 30's and early 40's.

Sometimes we have a dry spell and go a month or so but I think that's the longest ever in 20 years. If it had been half a year I'd be worried about our relationship tbh.

Both mid 40s been together 20 years, not had sex for about 2 years. We’re happy, very physically affectionate (hugs hand holding etc) but we have both lost our sex drive. We’re lucky we’re both on same page, I have friends where one of the pair has lost drive but not the other, it causes big issues in their relationships.

Mid forties.
No kids, Peri menopause and shift work. Very happy and content, affectionate etc
About once a week ish.

Almost exactly the same situation as you. We are content and just enjoy a nice life together and don’t feel the need for sex. I think there are more people out there in a similar boat but very few will admit it.

Probably once or twice a month at the moment! We used to have sex a lot more but currently I'm getting very close to menopause and DH is both very stressed and suffering from chronic testicular pain so neither of us are very keen at the moment! We are still very close, happy and cuddle a lot so I'm not worried. I'm sure things will be back to normal soon enough.

Whether or not your relationship is in trouble due to lack of sex depends on a lot of factors!

Similar age and kids situation, but it's only once or twice a month since we had to start sleeping in separate beds due to his snoring about 18 months ago. Sharing the same bed I'd say about 4 times a month (ie a shade less than every week)

For balance, once a month on average, sometimes more but also not unheard of for us to go a couple of months without. Mid 40s, young child at home.

I wouldn’t say I’m thrilled with it but also not all that bothered. Lower frequency initially more down to DH than me, but we’re pretty much on the same page these days. It’s nice when it happens. We’re both happy, physically affectionate in other ways etc.

Recently had a discussion with 3 of my friends, all seemingly happily married or long term partnered. I was the one of the 4 of us who had sex the most recently (Jan) and did the most often - when I’d have assumed it was the opposite. Everyone on mumsnet is doing it every other day at least, but I really don’t think it’s uncommon for sex to be much more infrequent. What matters is communication and if you’re both ok with it or not.

Depends. Together 25 yrs. On holiday, away from the stress of everyday life? Every day/every other day. In normal circumstances, once/twice a week. If life is REALLY stressful? Once a month.
But we talk about it and we are both on the same page.

once or twice a month - as little as possible and only when I feel I should. I'm early 40s and he is mid 40s. He would like it more often. We have had periods of here it's been months, especially when kids were younger.i lost all interest after my first baby, especially when any sign of affection from me made him immediately think I was up for it. Now he complains about the lack of affection...

Once a week. I have to remind myself to do it, as I genuinely wouldn't bother otherwise.
Mid 40s, 2 primary age kids.

About twice a week. Used to be a lot more but we’ve had periods where it’s been less too. I think it’s less of an issue what everyone else is up to more are you both happy with your situation?

Can’t remember, it’s been ages

Before we divorced…once a year?

With a new partner now so the score looks very different and I’m a bit gutted I wasted so long.

Last September. 54 and 67. I'm not bothered in the slightest.

Both 40. Few times a week during the Christmas break. Zilch since. I mean to get back to it but working FT and the pressure that comes with my role, I’m just not feeling it

We're 42 & 43, been together 20 years with two primary aged children at home.

Probably about once a quarter. Neither of us are particularly bothered by it. We're both happy and our relationship is good.

Nice to have some honesty on here. Prob 1-2 per week