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Honest answers please- sex frequency!!

107 replies

Jaberwocker · 13/02/2026 17:53

Hi everyone,
I’m keen to find out how often other married couples in my situation really have sex.

we’re 45 & 46, 1 teen at home. We both work in busy demanding jobs. I’ve realised that we haven’t had sex since June last year!!!!

how often are others in our age category etc having sex?

OP posts:
Notmyreality · 13/02/2026 22:08

Same age as you, 2 kids, several times a week

mumofoneAloneandwell · 13/02/2026 22:10
Embarrassed The Audacity GIF

single but

years

Notmyreality · 13/02/2026 22:10

jessb21 · 13/02/2026 21:37

My daughter at uni is doing it three times a week and sometimes not with the same boy 😟

Erm ok

MissyB1 · 13/02/2026 22:11

57 and 58, one teen still at home. We manage once or twice a week, if I’m totally honest once a week is plenty for me, and I would be happy with once a fortnight.

Chinsupmeloves · 13/02/2026 22:15

Looking back it was sporadic! Sometimes a couple of times a week, others months. All depended on the situation and stresses of life. Xx

Tiddlywinkly · 13/02/2026 22:26

Been together 20 plus years.

It was a lot in our early days and now it epps and flows depending on life.

Currently 1-2 times a month, which is fine. We're very affectionate anyway. It's been difficult trying to navigate around a 12 year old who frequently wakes up and fancies a chat around the time we want to go to bed. We often utilise lunch breaks on a day we are both WFH.

One year, it got bad, no sex at all. Ended up getting 6 free sessions with Relate thanks to dh's finance job. It really helped us communicate better. Our counsellor recommended setting aside a time weekly to check in on that front to discuss where we're at, which has been useful.

fableless · 13/02/2026 22:34

I’m really surprised by how often everyone is shagging. Most people in my life hardly ever do it.

FettleOfKish · 13/02/2026 22:38

Both early 40s with a toddler who due to circumstance still sleeps in our room, so about every 3 months at the moment! God willing in a couple of months we’ll have moved and he’ll have his own room (the toddler not DH) so hopefully it picks up a bit!

Seagullstopitnow · 13/02/2026 22:39

fableless · 13/02/2026 22:34

I’m really surprised by how often everyone is shagging. Most people in my life hardly ever do it.

If I'd answered this question 7 years ago, it would have been once or twice a year.
I hated my ex and he was a terrible shag 🤣

ThiagoJones · 13/02/2026 22:41

fableless · 13/02/2026 22:34

I’m really surprised by how often everyone is shagging. Most people in my life hardly ever do it.

How do you know how often the people in your life are having sex??

Tickingcrocodile · 13/02/2026 22:41

We don't. Both on medications that reduce libido, stressful jobs and teen children with SEND and lots of mental health issues. Luckily both on the same page.

Kickinthenostalgia · 13/02/2026 22:41

Probs once or twice a month…. DP would love it way more but my libido just int vibing these days

LEWWW · 13/02/2026 22:44

depends, we’ve never gone more than every 3/4 days apart from after having my DD, atm once/twice a day, it ebbs and flows 😊

ChaliceinWonderland · 13/02/2026 22:45

Nothing at all. Single, 55. Happy that way

ThatNaiceMember · 13/02/2026 22:51

Maybe once a week on average. It's very difficult to get the house to ourselves and the walls are so thin. I'm okay with this amount though as much as I love it during its like anything energetic and the thought of it is a lot 😭

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 13/02/2026 22:53

jessb21 · 13/02/2026 21:28

Feel sorry for your neighbours

Huh?? Why? Think you’ve mis-quoted me.

Spaghettion · 13/02/2026 22:57

44 and 46 years old, 2/3 times a week.

Pepperedpickles · 13/02/2026 23:08

45 (me) and 38, two older dc at home and I’m disabled. Hardly ever.. maybe once every few months. Both absolutely shattered and just not that bothered anymore. Been together 16 years.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/02/2026 23:11

Approaching mid 50s. Menopause has more or less killed off what was once a healthy sex drive. No-one talks about finding it harder to orgasm once you reach a certain age/stage, or clitoral atrophy, even on here! I found out how common those things are on the menopause subs on Reddit.

Add in some bladder issues as I've got older too, a husband whose snoring is loud enough to wake the dead at times hence have to sleep separately, his occasional loss of erection just cos of aging, and just complete exhaustion from this stage of life (DH has taken on a more senior role the last couple of years and works long stressful hours and seems to have aged 5 years in the past year, and I work FT still in a low paid stressful job and fall asleep most evenings when I get in!)

When you're this age you've possibly lost a parent and that does take it out of you. It changes you forr a while. I lost my dad a couple of years ago and found his last few weeks in hospital traumatic, and my mum was seriously ill 5 years ago. Put it all together and it's just a recipe for disaster as far as sex goes these days. When I think back to our 20s I feel jealous of myself as I was then - full of energy, easy to orgasm, no worries about anything, didn't have teenage kids right next door who stay awake till 2am and can hear everything. And definitely no bladder issues!

Our relationship is fine in all other ways. We did go through a couple of years adjustment with I think him thinking I didn't fancy him anymore or something daft but we seem to have come through that stage. We seem to have got to the "comfy" stage, still enjoy each other's company and honestly, from the things other women my age have hinted at in work, I don't think this is at all uncommon.

There is a world of difference between how you feel in your early -mid 40s with how you feel 10 years later.

moggiek · 13/02/2026 23:17

Once a week. 67/70. Grandparents to teenagers.

curious79 · 13/02/2026 23:22

Early 50s…. 1 every 4 wks - not enough for me

I know two other couples who are same age and 4x pw!!!

fruitfly3 · 13/02/2026 23:24

5 times a year. I wouldn’t bother again if I wasn’t married to be honest. Unfortunately we’re not on the same page. Both early 40s.

Planner2026 · 13/02/2026 23:24

Once in a blue moon! Maybe half a dozen times a year. We’re 60-ish. My husband is on medication that has caused his libido to dwindle and it’s completely fine by me.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 13/02/2026 23:30

Maybe 2 years ago? Had a baby in that time, still co-sleeping. But also he’s more annoying these days… early-mid 40s.

LoungeAct · 13/02/2026 23:52

45 and 48. Two older teens at home. We both work ft so normally too tired in the week but usually 2-3times at weekends

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