Honest answers please- sex frequency!!

[Jaberwocker]

Hi everyone,
I’m keen to find out how often other married couples in my situation really have sex.

we’re 45 & 46, 1 teen at home. We both work in busy demanding jobs. I’ve realised that we haven’t had sex since June last year!!!!

how often are others in our age category etc having sex?

Exactly the same here. Sometimes I do worry that we will never get back the intimacy but there is a lot of love and affection.

Mid 40s and 50s. At least twice a week, it dropped off quite a bit end of last year and I was quite worried but it’s back to our normal now.
two adult DDs at home

(both circa 40) Depends on timing in cycle - normally 2 weeks - 0, one week 1, one week 2/3.

so I guess that averages once a week but that stat seems a bit much as we don’t have sex every week.

varies a lot. I’d probably describe it as 4/5 times a month.

These threads tend to mainly be answered by people who are having sex frequently. In reality loads of couples go months without sex.

Nearly broke up as it was down to every few months as we were both going to bed different times and basically like ships in the night/ morning (he was upset about sex, I was about lack of romance/ the way things used to be) Now in a better place, we have date nights, go to bed at better times so now once a week, sometimes more, also have the odd lie in together

We're both mid 30s, together 16 years. Have a 3yo and 1.5yo. Both work full-time. At the moment..maybe once every 3 months. Last time 3 weeks ago. We went on a holiday just the two of us for 5 days last summer and did it a few times then.

The year my second was born we didn't have sex at all, between the last few months of pregnancy, and postpartum with 2 under 2 😬 I realised on NYE that it had been a totally dry year.

Doesn't help at all that our youngest still sleeps in our room (and in the bed for half the night), and husband sleeps in spare room due to awful snoring. Spare room is horrible and used as a storage/dumping ground so not enticing to use.

Tbh I couldn't care less about it at the moment, but I know my husband is struggling and I am a bit worried about it. I just don't have the energy to really care or change anything. He makes little jokes about it or suggests quickies and it just annoys me. Last thing I want to do when the kids are in bed is look after someone else 🙈

It really depends.

We have a teen, a pre-teen, a primary school age and one on the way.
Sometimes we can go around a month and never have it, other times it's like we're at the beginning of our relationship all over again.

At the moment it's about once every 1-2 weeks, but we're going through a stressful time and both just want to cuddle up and fall asleep at the end of the day.

I’m 44, DH turns 44 in March. We’ve been together for going on 16 years (in June) and married for 6.5 years. We have sex every day and in some circumstances (e.g. when away on holiday), multiple times a day. The exceptions would be if either of us is feeling unwell or because I’m on a long weekend trip abroad with friends.

No kids, but 3 dogs and we both work FT in demanding jobs; DH is a HGV driver on fuel tankers and I have a senior corporate position working in risk management. I am also completing a PT masters degree in Business Administration and am a Co-Opted Governor for a local High School.

Life is busy and stressful, but we both make sure to prioritise and make time for the physical part of our relationship. It helps that we both have high sex drives, (if my DH had his way we’d be doing it 5/6 times a day!), but sex is important to us and our relationship because it fosters the kind of emotional intimacy and closeness that makes us feel happy, loved, desired, seen and understood/appreciated in our marriage.

I wouldn’t worry about what’s normal, just aim for the amount of sex you want to have. Maybe you’re both okay with twice a year?!

I’m mid-30s, DP a bit younger, and we do it 2-3 times a week.

With ex-DP, I didn’t fancy him, so it was 2 or 3 times a month, and even then I forced myself to have sex with him (I don’t recommend this).

Mid 30s, a 3 year old and 6 months pregnant. I have not let him near me since the day I conceived 😅 we are on the same page, he is busy running his business atm and I am just toooooo ill and tired to even move once our toddler is in bed. I think its good to communicate and thats why its fine with us that we go so long. If I wasnt pregnant, probs every 3 to 4 weeks depends really!

Same as this. Normally 1-2 per week but varies

Same frequency as I wash the towels.

Teen at home too and different schedules makes it awkward. Over Xmas was 5 / 6 times. Once since first week January

This is a very odd drop-and-run OP, @Jaberwocker.

Since June is too long UNLESS you're both content with a sexless marriage. Care to add some more context?

If you've only just realised, presumably it doesn't bother either of you.

I mean... not in detail ... but 2/3 of my closest friends have told me they basically never do it.

Only about once a week and I’m fine with that.

2-3 times a week, but that’s with the benefit of hrt. It was dwindling to 2-3 times a month, before I sorted the hormones.

How do you feel about the frequency @Jaberwocker ?

Twice a week usually at the weekend.Both 45 with a 12 yr old

Same here. Not sure why it’s such a surprise that women talk about it. I don’t with friends I met from my 30s onwards but I have good groups of friends from my teens, university and single years and we grew up together. Right now in our mid 50s it’s a topic that comes up.

After a recent conversation I gather once a month was the average aim and plenty of us had very long gaps. Many different reasons for this but that’s another thread.

Most days , late at night or early morning. Quite often 3 or 4 times at the weekend. We both love having sex and make time for it.

I am exhausted just reading this 😳😂 Good luck to you but shows how different we all are because I couldn’t imagine anything worse. Way too much for me.

Early and mid 40s, 2 teens and we both work full time

Usually 1-2 times a week.

Late 20s/Early 40s.

About once a week, occasionally around three.

2 small children.

Well peri is starting to kick in for me so who knows how things may shift as a result. But for now, it works for us.