Where do you get your thrills when you’re 40+?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

What do you get excited about/what makes you feel alive? When I was younger & had the constant optimism of youth, I’d get my thrills from nights out, especially if I was “on the pull” lol, crazy weekends away to party cities like Berlin, backpacking, the start of new relationships, playing in football tournaments at the weekend (and the parties after). Now that I’m in my early 40s with young kids my life is pretty dull. I’m not complaining as such, I’m very lucky to have my kids and have a stable life and I wouldn’t want to be doing the stuff I did in my 20s now. But i notice I don’t get excited about anything anymore. I don’t feel excited about life like I used to, which I guess is normal and just part of getting older. This is probably what drives people to have mid-life crises, the mundaneness of life and a desperation to shake things up. I’m wondering, if you’re a similar age/life stage, how you get “your thrills” now? Or do you at all? Do you feel like it’s not something you need anymore? Or do you still have an exciting life and plenty of thrills? I think a big part of it is, when you’re young the idea that in “the future” you could do anything/be anything/achieve something great, and probably will cos you’ve got SO much time. Then when you get older you (or I anyway) realise all those dreams aren’t going to come true cos they would have happened by now, and that can be a bit of a crushing realisation sometimes. That maybe you’re not going to leave some big amazing mark on the world like you thought you would. So I guess that leads to a feeling of dullness & mundaneness about life…

Lots of travelling - just has to be child age appropriate

Rollerskating skate parks, wild swimming, friendships.

I am much more low key in terms of thrill requirement now.
So for me is opportunities to really indulge my inner me, the "thrill" being the time and sometimes cost it takes from normal day to day, I suppose.

Also/as well as adding luxury onto normal things, because I value the "thrill" of the enhanced experience.

It's about having the time and money to do good things, I guess.

I don’t really get ‘thrills’ at all anymore- but I do get DEEP contentment from simple things like an excellent cup of tea, cuddling my dog, walking the dog, making a cake… that sort of thing.

And I really enjoy gigs, travel and going to good restaurants. I still don’t get much excitement from them, but they feel like real treats.

Long haul travel with the children. Hosting friends with good food and wine.
Decluttering and taking stuff to the tip.

Jesus, that's depressing. 😅

To be fair, I did have many terrible nights out in my 20s as well as awful boyfriends. So I guess I'm more content now and the lows aren't as low.

Is it terrible that I was going to say when I can dry my washing outside?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sports, sex and my career mainly.

You mature and aim for contentment. As pp have said, cultivate the thrill of appreciation for the small things in life.

Having a holiday booked to look forward to, spending time with people whose company I enjoy. That sort of stuff fills my cup. I used to like late nights and drinking but that’s all gone! Like @Waitingfordoggoit’s more contentment than thrills/excitement.

when you find the answer OP can you let me know. I'm 50 something and bored shitless with everything. I do not need a new hobby or change of job/career, I cannot re-locate. Me & DH go to our friends houses for drinks, I prefer this to a pub .. but .. but ..

I miss the flirt/chase etc but would never want to split from dh. I miss carefree clubbing days, being bought drinks in the pub, bunking off school to go to the pub. These days .. pubs are dead, night-life around my area is generally dead, I'm not the skinny girl I used to be, nothing fits/ or looks good clothes wise and I am losing/have lost my looks as I age. I feel old and past it most days. Totally, and utterly fed up

I get that feeling from skiing.

I can't think of anything else, but I guess the other part of the answer is that I don't seek / desire thrills in the same way as I used to. It's more about security and contentment. So my desires still match my experiences IYSWIM.

I used to walk into a pub and turn heads, to some degree (I am no stunner and never have been). I would be the younger generation in the pub and I would look good. There were no fake nails/hair/lashes or anything else that today's younger generation now have, looking good was so much simpler back in the day.

I’d tell you but it’s rude 😉

skiing and tennis.

Good question OP

I have a comfortable life but I couldn’t call it exciting. It does all blend into one and seem a bit meh.

There are things I still get a buzz from - a night out dancing for example - but my friends usually aren’t keen and I can’t get excited about going alone.

I do love travel but the family isn’t as keen, DH worries about work and the DC prefer to chill in school holidays and see their friends. So that makes it harder to get excited.

Maybe this is partly why we find things less exciting now? We’re always having to consider other people not just our own preferences??

I’m hoping DH and I can take early retirement once DC are grown and do more exciting stuff then… Bet he’ll just want to play golf though 🙄😄

I was never a thrill seeker when I was younger. I’ve always just enjoyed the simple things in life… so I still do!

I’m more content than I’ve ever been.
my twenties were entirely taken up by studying, travelling and career building and trying to do all this with kids.
My life was so full that I’m not sure i appreciated the thrill of it.
Nowadays, with my career I’m still traveling a lot, have a lot of stress but get a real kick out of a great marriage, great sex, evenings with my older kids playing board games.
To be honest if you cannot find the joy in your life as it is then you’re heading for a mid life crisis. No one can run around like they’re in their twenties forever because it would be exhausting, laughable and honestly that stuff should be a space for the young ones unless it’s specifically for the middle aged (I love a good 80s disco!)

This thread makes me sad. I’m 36 and have never been more excited about life. I have days where I’m giddy with excitement and optimism.
Sounds like I’ve only got a few more years of this 😭 I assume you’re referring to perimenopause, OP?

Oh you're not alone... I LOVE it. I get a lot of satisfaction out of a dry sunny day when I can do this!

Jaywalking

Being in the mountains. Hiking to the top. Simple but true. Luckily I live very close. Other than that, live music. Saw a band recently that made me feel so excited-like I was 25 again!

I went back to horseriding, got myself a horse and hack out. That does it for me!

Theme parks are a big one for us! We’ve been all over the Uk, France and to the USA visiting theme parks. We love them as a family and planning a big trip like Orlando really gets me excited and gives us something to look forward to. Other than that I enjoy my family and home life and feel fulfilled at work. I can’t think of anything worse than a night out clubbing now on the pull 🤢

Hooking up with younger men, going out drinking with friends, going to gigs and generally having a laugh with my mates. I'm nearly 50 but still have smallish kids.

Burglary