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Original poster

Where do you get your thrills when you’re 40+?

113 replies

Waitingforthesunnydays · 02/02/2026 12:34

What do you get excited about/what makes you feel alive? When I was younger & had the constant optimism of youth, I’d get my thrills from nights out, especially if I was “on the pull” lol, crazy weekends away to party cities like Berlin, backpacking, the start of new relationships, playing in football tournaments at the weekend (and the parties after). Now that I’m in my early 40s with young kids my life is pretty dull. I’m not complaining as such, I’m very lucky to have my kids and have a stable life and I wouldn’t want to be doing the stuff I did in my 20s now. But i notice I don’t get excited about anything anymore. I don’t feel excited about life like I used to, which I guess is normal and just part of getting older. This is probably what drives people to have mid-life crises, the mundaneness of life and a desperation to shake things up. I’m wondering, if you’re a similar age/life stage, how you get “your thrills” now? Or do you at all? Do you feel like it’s not something you need anymore? Or do you still have an exciting life and plenty of thrills? I think a big part of it is, when you’re young the idea that in “the future” you could do anything/be anything/achieve something great, and probably will cos you’ve got SO much time. Then when you get older you (or I anyway) realise all those dreams aren’t going to come true cos they would have happened by now, and that can be a bit of a crushing realisation sometimes. That maybe you’re not going to leave some big amazing mark on the world like you thought you would. So I guess that leads to a feeling of dullness & mundaneness about life…

OP posts:

RandomUsernameHere · 02/02/2026 20:54

Running
Holidays
Fun days out, especially theme parks

FrightfulNightfull · 02/02/2026 21:04

Nothing. I’m tired constantly and hate almost everything about my life (except my daughter but as she’s severely disabled it’s hard work even though she’s fun, she’s also getting older and less easy to keep happy).
I used to be really happy with all kinds of things - walking my dogs, reading- whatever.
I can’t be bothered!
I have no idea how people get a thrill from simple things any more.

Squirrelchops1 · 02/02/2026 21:06

Having already posted and now read more, I think I've misunderstood 'thrill '. I thought it meant thrill seeking..ie adrenaline seeking and i was feeling very boring. However reading on, I'm doing pretty good!

MopAndBucketLady · 02/02/2026 21:07

HollyGolightly4 · 02/02/2026 12:51

Is it terrible that I was going to say when I can dry my washing outside?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This ! I line dried towels today as no rain. Made me so happy. Sad I know

Disturbia81 · 02/02/2026 21:16

ElleintheWoods · 02/02/2026 20:27

Honestly, I feel the opposite, but perhaps I have lived in reverse.

What I find most interesting about your quote is this:

"I think a big part of it is, when you’re young the idea that in “the future” you could do anything/be anything/achieve something great, and probably will cos you’ve got SO much time. Then when you get older you (or I anyway) realise all those dreams aren’t going to come true cos they would have happened by now"

When I was younger I didn't really enjoy anything, just felt a constant need to achieve/ progress asap like time was running out. Certainly didn't live the life you describe, no nights out that I enjoyed, or weekend football tournaments for me. It was very much busy-busy-busy, ticking boxes for everyone else. Granted, I achieved most things people consider 'impressive' before 30, but that's beside the point.

I think completely differently about 'the future', achievements, and dreams.

I have about 20 working years behind me. That leaves me 30 good years ahead. If you look at when people achieve things, it's often not until they are 50+, e.g. starting a business, buying their forever home, writing a novel.

I think my 'worst' years are behind me, thank god, and think the best times are yet to come. I am not even in the middle of my adult life yet, at 40 you've pretty much just begun and smartened up, figured things out for what they are. It's like being at level 4/10 in a video game if we don't count years as a child.

Right now I get my 'thrills' from:

Making all my childhood years dream come true, as at 40 you have the money. Even if it's silly things like seeing the Spice Girls live, visiting Timbaktu or wearing a pink Dior dress. I spoil my inner child
Looking and feeling my best ever, as pace of life is calmer and taste in clothes and beauty so much better
Culture - I never deprive myself from any theatre, art, museums, books, something I was too busy for in younger years
Thinking about the future. To me, 10 years from now, I could be anyone, anywhere. Feel like I am learning and growing every day. Super excited about who I'll be at 50. I surround myself with really interesting people of varied ages and feel really inspired regularly

Oh and the sex is better than any previous decade I find. People finally vaguely know what they are doing and aren't so prudish!

By way of advice I'd say find some positive role models who are older than you. Not sure what you're into but for example Mel C gave a great interview about what 40 and 50 could feel like with the right mindset. Honestly, 20s and 30s to me seemed comparetively shite considering how 40 feels, and lots of women seem to agree.

I love this post. I sometimes feel like I’m in reverse too as I feel better about everything as I age. I’m different to you in that I did go out and have fun when younger but I have it still now, but I’m more confident in every aspect. I love who I am more with every passing year. Love how I look far more than in my teens/20s/30s. No worries about what job I’ll have or when I’ll have kids. Give no shits about what people think. I appreciate life more and say yes more. I get loads of thrills, but you have to put yourself out there.

ScabbyHorse · 02/02/2026 21:17

Camper vanning to festivals, playing with my band, swimming and going on holiday

ThePoetsWife · 02/02/2026 21:22

Skiing, hiking and weekends away

frozendaisy · 02/02/2026 21:37

I quite like using power tools.

Dublassie · 02/02/2026 21:41

I’m 53 ! I ski , ice skate , love water parks , go on holiday a lot , attend as many musicals as I can and generally have way more fun than I did when younger !! Life is what you make it . I have five wonderful kids who are now growing up and need to find my own fun !

HotChocCreamAndMarshmallows · 02/02/2026 21:43

Waitingfordoggo · 02/02/2026 12:44

I don’t really get ‘thrills’ at all anymore- but I do get DEEP contentment from simple things like an excellent cup of tea, cuddling my dog, walking the dog, making a cake… that sort of thing.

And I really enjoy gigs, travel and going to good restaurants. I still don’t get much excitement from them, but they feel like real treats.

This with bells on (actually maybe add a smooth glass of red in front of the log burner and then getting in to a freshly made bed). Give me all this over ‘thrills’ any day of the week.

cantankerousoldcrone · 02/02/2026 22:42

FrightfulNightfull · 02/02/2026 21:04

This sounds very hard, I'm sorry.

Sheknowsaboutme · 03/02/2026 02:30

Im now 51 and love a quiet life, never been a thrill person but the older i get i enjoy doing things that make me happy and suit me

i dont like travelling, im lucky to live in a beautiful part of the uk where people flock to in summer. Sea, mountains, rural life makes me happy. I have my small holding and love nothing better on a weekend morning in the summer than sitting out at 6am drinking coffee listening to the sound of silence.

i really like a quiet life. Always have.

i dont begrudge anyone loving a thrilling life, each to their own! Do what makes you happy

CookingFatCat · 03/02/2026 05:00

Watching Bridgerton is about as exciting as it gets here. 😂

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