If you have very young DC how often would you be happy with your DH going away for the weekend?

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Reason for going away - to do hobby,which is just for fun (not part of a team or anything)

By “away” that means other side of the country or further, for the whole weekend

They also do hobby locally 2/3 times per week

So I went to the gym every Sunday morning, and one evening after work (also on non working days) but on those two regular slots DH was in charge. I also did 2-3 events a year (like who day triathlons). So I think whole weekend I’d say maybe 3-4 a year as long as you get similar time for own hobbies.

2-3 a year

our kids are small and age 6 and under

DH made the decision not to go on any overnight trips (for leisure or work) on his own once we had dcs and I was happy with that. If he had any kind of hobby that featured overnight trips I might have endured it if it meant something to him, but he didn't, and the truth was it was far easier and nicer to have him around. We preferred having weekends together as a family than splitting off for solo time even if it would be equal, and the dcs would have missed us if we took turns doing solo trips away.
He went on his first social overnight trip once dcs.were 7 and 3.

Yet a other post and run thread 😳

There is no one answer for this as it depends on circumstances, but I'd say roughly once every six weeks or so is reasonable.

Dramatic to call other people controlling and to say they must have a miserable life.

One person has said never. One. Again, very dramatic considering the majority aren't saying never.

When I was on maternity leave I would not have been happy at all - the weeks are long with 2 under 2 and the weekend is the break. But once I was back at work then I guess once every 3 months or so as long as I felt it was fair? Not sure - we do not really have the kind of lives that provide opportunities for weekends away!

Personally I think it's impossible to give an answer to this without knowing more details of OP's circumstances.

On the very scant information OP has provided her DH already gets quite excessive time to spend on his hobbies if there are very young DC involved. And I think some of the pp are being very glib in their answers about of course it being ok for him to swan off for fun weekends as well.

I breastfed and didn't want to be away from DC so a replica weekend away wasn't in my interest. I don't think identical 50 50 is always feasible or fair.

Wouldn’t bother me at all.

Around 3-4 times a year should be fine so long as you have reciprocal time and it’s financially affordable without the family making sacrifices elsewhere.
I would potentially have more of an issue with the hobby being done 2-3 times a week if that means he’s not around to do bedtimes or other basic parenting stuff than occasional weekends away. But maybe that’s just me.

We both worked, we sometimes spent months working away, we both had hobbies, and we both visited friends and had weekends away on our own. We just made sure that we spent equal time and effort parenting. (4 children, very close in age)

It actually got more difficult when they were older - when they were doing their own hobbies in different places.

I think stag dos and hobbies take a back seat when DC are very young. You focus on your family. A weekend away can be expensive - taking money from the family pot.

You can still socialise - night with mates in the pub - but actually going away to the other side of the country for a weekend would be a once a year thing.

DD's a young adult now so we have plenty of time to do as we like. They're not very young for long - weekends away can wait.

Our kids are 7 and 3, and DH usually goes away 2 weekends a year to see friends. I also go away 2 weekends a year.

We’ve always gone away with our friends or on hobby trips 2-3 times a year each and having kids hasn’t stopped that. The first couple of abroad trips made me a bit wobbly when they were babies, but we all survived.

3-4 times per year, but it would depend on how present he was the rest of the time. Dh probably is away 4 weekends a year. But except for one night working late each week, he’s home and engaged in family life every night, with exceptions for occasional meeting up with friends. He also takes dc away solo several weekends a year so I get the weekend to myself (plus I have weekends away too).

Totally depends how hands are they are with parenting and general house stuff. If it genuinely feels like a partnership then 3-4 times and year (that’s what I typically do).

If they are a lazy so and so and leave all the parenting to the OP then never.

If they are lazy twats then their presence won’t make much difference. Might as well not be under your feet… permanently.

It would mostly depend on the impact on family finances tbh. 2-3 times a year? I was the person with the 2-3 times a week hobby and we agreed I'd only do events involving travel (rarely overnight) once a month.

Same amount of weekends or free time should be available to both.

We went so far as to have turns of piece. Even if one person is working full time and they other is at home.

Menfolk don't deserve more hobby time.

I was always an early riser and could nap. I always got up at the crack of dawn with DC. Oh came down dressed and ready to take over at 11.30.

Same opportunities for each, we both went away when we had young children because we both had friends outside of our couple groups and wanted to keep seeing them when we could.
i went away leaving dh with our 2 who were 5 and 6 and a 5 month old for a long weekend.
also had a weekend away when we just had one who was 3 months.
and when we had 2 I left him at home with a 2 year old and a 6 month old to go for a friends wedding weekend.
He also had weekends away when we had smalls.
was no big deal to either of us.
Not a one size fits all, we were both happy leaving the dc with each other as we were both competent pretty equal parents (I did more because I was a SAHM but he did a lot too) and they were content kids. It’s the equal opportunity to have alone time that’s important, fair enough if you don’t want to actually take the time away but you should have the chance.

My DH works weekends so I go solo a lot with the kids and it’s not fun, but I knew what I was getting into when I married him with that (he’s in a profession that involves antisocial hours and weird shift patterns).

Being away for social life is different. I would not be happy with him going away for a weekend for fun more twice a year.

4 or 5 times a year probably.

But then, my husband worked long shifts in emergency services so I was very used to spending large periods of time parenting alone to the point that having him around was irritating as he messed up the routine 😂

Note of caution… I had a sporty ex husband with a social life that went with it. Trained twice a week and played (all over the country). We had three sons (two sen) and I was ‘cool wife/ try hard’

I hated him by the end of our marriage. I felt I couldn’t be honest- he still plays regularly twenty years later and his weekends with the boys involved them being dumped on the sidelines. I wish I had said at the time or failing that I wish he had noticed me drowning. It was easier to do it alone.

Just think about what works for all of you.

Maximum 6 times a year. If I also had a weekend away 6 times a year too, then we would still have 3/4 weekends together.
I'm not sure inwould be happy with my dh out three evenings a week every week. It doesn't leave many evenings for us to spend together as a couple or a family if I am also have a few nights out a week!