I’m close to requesting the GP sign me off work - Meeting on Monday with manager and I need advice

[BlueOtter9]

I’ve stepped into an acting leadership role at work nearly a year ago. Since then, I’ve been dealing with ongoing issues with my line manager where:

• My authority is frequently bypassed
• meetings are held without me
• My trainee goes above me and complains. This then results in my line manager attending meetings with my deputy to reinforce her authority
• Decisions affecting my work are made without my involvement
• Meetings with directors are arranged and I’m expected to attend to rectify a problem she doesn’t leave me a chance to solve
• I am being coached by a director and I’ve been compliant but it feels like another stick to beat me with
• Expectations are changed retrospectively
• Concerns are raised about me indirectly rather than addressed with me
• I implement changes I’m told to. Then I’m told I’ve done it wrong. E.g I made a change, implemented it as told, planned and delivered this to the team, team delivered this info, trainee complains it’s wrong, manager emails me Friday evening to tell me she needs to be in my meeting with my deputy to reinforce expectations and this would have never happened if I liaised with X but I was never told to. I can’t automatically know these things when I’m being encouraged to work with so many others and be coached by one staff member and then plan with another separate colleague at deputy director level. It’s too confusing.
• Multiple senior people are pulled into situations without clear process and I’m forced to comply and look like an idiot.
• the trainee has a strong relationship with my line manager so if I raise concerns they’re dismissed but if she raises them, she complies.
• I have a health investigation happening related to the c word. It’s stressful and my capacity to complete work is different and also I’m not emotionally regulating. I asked for a OH referral for adjustments. This was dismissed and I was told to meet with HR and use the portal online.

I’ve tried to handle things professionally, but the situation has become increasingly stressful. I’ve disclosed health concerns related to anxiety, yet the pressure and monitoring have only increased. I’m now at the point where it’s affecting my sleep, weekends, and general wellbeing.

I’ve involved my union and I’m exploring other job opportunities, but emotionally I feel drained and stuck in survival mode. I’m hoping this chapter of my life closes soon and that I can regain some peace of mind.

I have a meeting on Monday and it’s ruining my weekend I can’t stop thinking about how I’ll be torn into and undermined in front of my deputy. I need advice please. What do I do? Union said push back and tell her you’ll handle the meeting. She won’t listen. She’ll arrive anyway. She’s rude. Undermines me. Speaks to me through gritted teeth like I’m stupid. Never praises me for the work I’ve implemented just chastises me.

help?

Subject Access Request under the Data Protection Act. Not FoI.

The issue is I am adamant that I dont want her to “win” I know this sounds silly but I’m mapping a grievance with my union rep.

This is honest OP but misguided.

If you want a favourable outcome you maybe need to change the way you are approaching this.

What is Monday’s meeting for? Could the new post be unsuitable? Doesn’t sound like it is a good fit for you or them.

It’s easy to blame others (not saying you are) and work situations often never black/white (I’m all good/they’re all bad) but from colleagues perspective as hard as it can be to accept, at least with some issues might they have a point? They maybe don’t but it is worth reflecting.

Your Union will have full details but option to draft a statement for Monday. State background, issues and recommendations i.e that you request a Stress at Work Risk Assessment and would ask that they review the decision not to allow an OH referral.

You have a lot on your plate and the distress caused sounds awful. There is as you’ve said always the option to raise a formal grievance setting out that you (if applicable) feel subject to undermining/bullying. Be prepared though, often with grievance few if any points are ultimately upheld in full or part.

Write a timeline, keep a diary and keep comms in writing (email is fine). Where at all possible be neutral and not emotional in tone.

There is another possible option. If you do want to keep the role you could opt to fall in line, dust yourself down and do whatever it takes to do an incredible job?

No one could argue with or have a problem with that and that would be a great way to ‘win’ and reassert your authority. Risk coming out fighting is only loser be you and you mark your card.

Good luck.

I really hope your meeting went as well as possible on Monday OP, I've been thinking of you and hope you're doing OK?