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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 09/01/2026 07:42

Not replying to people/emails straight away if I’m not ready to.

I kept some weekends free for more spontaneous activities this December which meant I wasn’t so burnt out when Christmas arrived.

The children choose one extra curricular activity to do now so we only have one evening each a week where we’re out of the house ferrying them around.

We eat early and reset the kitchen/downstairs afterwards, I get straight in the bath/shower after dinner and then chill for the rest of the evening, this has been a complete game changer.

We don’t mind what time the kids go to bed but past 7:30 the expectation is that they are calm and quiet occupying themselves so we all have down time.

Food shop deliveries on Sundays when it’s a working week.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/01/2026 07:53

Got divorced. Blown away by how much calmer everything was. I thought it wouldn’t make a whole lot of difference but suddenly I was singing as I washed up rather than seething, and that was 24-7. Total atmosphere change.

Nitgel · 09/01/2026 07:55

Watch tv from the 60s 70s and 80s. Better storylines. Intelligent and no loud soundtracks.

Nsky62 · 09/01/2026 07:58

Got a cat, after my divorce, and dishwasher

LifeBeginsToday · 09/01/2026 07:58

Told my aggressive / abusive late teenage daughter to leave the house. She lives in temporary accommodation now, and I see and support her as much as I can, but I wouldn't tolerate her behaviour under my roof.

NDerbys32 · 09/01/2026 07:58

Distanced myself and my family from my own toxic parents and siblings. Hard but had to be done

Less time on social media

Every 'Black Friday' e mail gets unsubscribed from

I keep my circle of trusted people small but meaningful. Far less drama now.

Cocomelon67 · 09/01/2026 08:00

Clear outs always make such a difference- but feel overwhelming to actually do. When I’ve done them I feel like a physical weight has lifted!

Shavasana · 09/01/2026 08:01

Daily yoga even just twenty minutes
Gave up alcohol
Got really into gardening
Got divorced
Limit news intake to the headlines once a day

I also started singing spontaneously after my divorce. Life is infinitely better 😄

Cocomelon67 · 09/01/2026 08:02

The other major thing is get my child a special needs school place. Absolutely life transforming for the whole family. My child is calmer, happier, safer. I cannot explain how incredible it is to have the right school place.

HoseGoblin · 09/01/2026 08:05

Quit my job. Then quit again. Then quit again. Cast off the weird loyalty-to-the-point-of-martyrdom mindset I'd had drummed into me growing up and kept moving on until I found something where I can honestly say I absolutely love my job.

Deleted all my social media bar those where I can be more or less anonymous and invisible, so basically Mumsnet and a Reddit account I use mostly to talk about crochet.

Honestly. Having a job I love and no digital Jones's to keep up with has given me more peace than I can say.

TheMentalMentalLoad · 09/01/2026 08:06

Online food shop
Dog walker
fancy shower products for me
stopped drinking
change the bed less often (seriously!)

Rather than look at the cost of something in £ I look at the value it will add or deduct from my life.

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 08:06

Haven’t done it yet but considering putting my pre schooler into preschool for an extra day purely so I can get a day to myself to catch up on jobs without having a small child under my feet! I could go to the gym maybe, get my nails done, catch up on housework, the possibilities are endless. However I can’t shake off the guilt and keep telling myself I should enjoy this time with her as she starts school next year.

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:09

No men, no alcohol, amazing cleaner every Monday, professional blow-dry once a week, listening to my body. Tired? Sleep. Hungry? Eat.

TheMentalMentalLoad · 09/01/2026 08:11

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 08:06

Haven’t done it yet but considering putting my pre schooler into preschool for an extra day purely so I can get a day to myself to catch up on jobs without having a small child under my feet! I could go to the gym maybe, get my nails done, catch up on housework, the possibilities are endless. However I can’t shake off the guilt and keep telling myself I should enjoy this time with her as she starts school next year.

Do it. Seriously, for your own MH.

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 09/01/2026 08:13

Try to only commit to one thing at weekends. Am currently doing the email unsubscribe. Try to stay on top of laundry daily.

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 09/01/2026 08:14

@sidneytweeneylove the idea of a weekly blow dry.

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 09/01/2026 08:14

Oh yes and now get cleaner to change beds weekly.

Sweetiedarling7 · 09/01/2026 08:17

Get rid of stuff not used so that I have plenty of storage for stuff I do use.
Sleep when tired.
No men.
Still working on saying no / setting boundaries. No men has helped though.

rookiemere · 09/01/2026 08:18

Currently dealing with the stress of elderly DPs who aren’t really well enough to live independently but don’t want to go into a home.

I have removed the phone notifications from my fitbit as all the buzzing was driving me demented, I change the ring tone on my phone monthly so I can’t build up negative associations from it and I put my phone on silent a lot of the time. I live an hour away so I won’t be the first responder in a crisis anyway.

But even with all that, HRT and a super helpful DH doing a lot of the heavy lifting I have no idea how to cope with not knowing how long this will go on for and what I can do to make it better for me.

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:26

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 09/01/2026 08:14

@sidneytweeneylove the idea of a weekly blow dry.

I’ve got shit hair- curly frizzy etc so having it done nicely once a week is a real luxury and I can normally get 4 days out of it before k have to wash it so my hair looks nice more often than not!

Lost295 · 09/01/2026 08:27

Got two new decent robot hoovers so I have clean floors everyday upstairs and down without having to think about it (and without stressing the animals as they’re much quieter than a normal vacuum). We had old ones, but they were crap and I can’t believe the difference in technology a few years later. So much better.

Decluttered (or rather, am decluttering) including the loft and garage

Purposefully kept most weekends in Nov and Dec free to avoid the normally manic run up to Christmas. Also took two weeks off so I could actually rest and enjoy it.

Had a choice between two jobs. Chose the one where the work might be less my cup of tea, but the team is much, much more supportive.

Turned off notifications for lots of apps, including MN

After years of trying, finally started to accept the idea I’m limited on what I can do to improve DS’s choices and resultant life outcomes and have realised he needs to find his own way/make his own mistakes.

Great thread, OP … it’s one of the things I’ve committed to in 2026 so will keep checking in for other ideas.

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:33

Lost295 · 09/01/2026 08:27

Got two new decent robot hoovers so I have clean floors everyday upstairs and down without having to think about it (and without stressing the animals as they’re much quieter than a normal vacuum). We had old ones, but they were crap and I can’t believe the difference in technology a few years later. So much better.

Decluttered (or rather, am decluttering) including the loft and garage

Purposefully kept most weekends in Nov and Dec free to avoid the normally manic run up to Christmas. Also took two weeks off so I could actually rest and enjoy it.

Had a choice between two jobs. Chose the one where the work might be less my cup of tea, but the team is much, much more supportive.

Turned off notifications for lots of apps, including MN

After years of trying, finally started to accept the idea I’m limited on what I can do to improve DS’s choices and resultant life outcomes and have realised he needs to find his own way/make his own mistakes.

Great thread, OP … it’s one of the things I’ve committed to in 2026 so will keep checking in for other ideas.

Sorry to go off topic but could you say which hoovers they are please

Iocanepowder · 09/01/2026 08:40

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 08:06

Haven’t done it yet but considering putting my pre schooler into preschool for an extra day purely so I can get a day to myself to catch up on jobs without having a small child under my feet! I could go to the gym maybe, get my nails done, catch up on housework, the possibilities are endless. However I can’t shake off the guilt and keep telling myself I should enjoy this time with her as she starts school next year.

Absolutely do this! It saved my sanity with DC1. I then had DC2 with no days to myself and lost my sanity again.

Lost295 · 09/01/2026 11:15

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:33

Sorry to go off topic but could you say which hoovers they are please

These - they were on sale and I got them for £169 each. They’re not the best out there but was a good compromise between price and quality.

roborock Q10 S5 Robot Vacuum Cleaner with Mop, 10,000 Pa HyperForce Suction, Dual Anti-Tangle Brushes, VibraRise 2.0 & Auto Lifting Mopping System, Smart Obstacle Avoidance, Ideal for Pet Hair, Black https://amzn.eu/d/5U7fgrc

roborock Q10 S5 Robot Vacuum Cleaner with Mop, 10,000 Pa HyperForce Suction, Dual Anti-Tangle Brushes, VibraRise 2.0 & Auto Lifting Mopping System, Smart Obstacle Avoidance, Ideal for Pet Hair, Black : Amazon.co.uk: Home & Kitchen

https://amzn.eu/d/5U7fgrc?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum--chat-5472794-things-you-have-done-to-make-your-life-bettercalmer

Echobelly · 09/01/2026 11:22

Stopped taking responsibility for DHs family interactions/birthdays

Putting a wider variety of stuff in the dishwasher (pans etc) if it can fit in there and not waiting until its completely full to run it. Really does make life easier.

Never committed kids to any after school/weekend activities that needed us to drive them there and back so we didn't have to be beholden to that every sodding week.