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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
JustBec · 10/01/2026 13:27

Userxyd · 10/01/2026 07:26

Some gentle comedy I’d recommend from any era is Fat Friends, Young Sheldon, Modern Family, Madame Blanc Mysteries, The Durrells, Parenthood

Adding Ted Lasso as a suggestion - such a lovely, heart warming series with great messages for young men/teenage boys about friendship, emotions and communication.

MayaPinion · 10/01/2026 15:20

Stopped working from home. We’ve always had a flexible/hybrid policy but after COVID I found I hardly ever went in and although I didn’t realise it I was becoming quite socially isolated and my work life was bleeding into my home life. I was answering work emails at 11pm and filling what should have been family time with inefficient work. In the last year I have:

  1. Gone in 9-5 Monday-Friday
  2. Left my laptop in work so I can’t work at home
  3. Taken work email off my personal phone
  4. Turned my home office back into my dining room and we use it all the time for meals, games, crafts, etc.
It made me realise how much I was paying for the convenience of working from home - the room, WiFi, heating, lighting, brain space, etc. By setting this boundary I’ve become much more focused at work, I’ve made some good work friends, and I have a lot more influence. Being visible, beyond being a face on a Teams call, has led to several great opportunities I wouldn’t have had otherwise. And maybe I can’t put on the laundry or pop a casserole in the slow cooker during my lunch hour anymore, but now I don’t think that’s what lunch hours should be for anyway.
RobinTheCavewoman · 10/01/2026 15:58

Less - alcohol (maybe a glass of wine a month recently and it always makes me sleep badly), caffeine (down from 4 cups to 1 cup a day), stuff, news, crime dramas (or anything featuring dead or abused women), feeling bad about resting and doing nothing.

More - exercise (20 mins yoga, weights or jog before work), reading, self care (skincare, weekly at home mani and pedi), learning and doing what is right for our family, not going along with what society dictates

Charliede1182 · 10/01/2026 17:30

I've just hired a cleaner, they start next Wednesday. I feel guilty about the cost but my son and his wife who are both able bodied and have relatively undemanding work-from-home jobs and no kids have one, and they convinced me that the quality of life is better than the cost saved.

I live with a chronic illness, have two school aged children at home plus my 85 year old father with dementia and the world's mangiest cat so I feel like this expense is deserved.

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 10/01/2026 17:54

I married someone who is happy to do all the clothes washing plus most tedious house stuff like taking bins out, unblocking loos, hoovering

I never iron anything, ever

All shopping is online

I only skim read the news

I only make time to see or speak to people I really like and want to speak to

All bills are paid by direct debit

3 chargers for phone & ipad: bedroom, living room, study so I never have to transfer them

Small kettle next to my bed so I have coffee as soon as I wake up

I use Microsoft To Do as well @OttersMayHaveShifted - I love it

I also throw money at problems and do as little boring shit as possible as a result!

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 10/01/2026 18:00

MayaPinion · 10/01/2026 15:20

Stopped working from home. We’ve always had a flexible/hybrid policy but after COVID I found I hardly ever went in and although I didn’t realise it I was becoming quite socially isolated and my work life was bleeding into my home life. I was answering work emails at 11pm and filling what should have been family time with inefficient work. In the last year I have:

  1. Gone in 9-5 Monday-Friday
  2. Left my laptop in work so I can’t work at home
  3. Taken work email off my personal phone
  4. Turned my home office back into my dining room and we use it all the time for meals, games, crafts, etc.
It made me realise how much I was paying for the convenience of working from home - the room, WiFi, heating, lighting, brain space, etc. By setting this boundary I’ve become much more focused at work, I’ve made some good work friends, and I have a lot more influence. Being visible, beyond being a face on a Teams call, has led to several great opportunities I wouldn’t have had otherwise. And maybe I can’t put on the laundry or pop a casserole in the slow cooker during my lunch hour anymore, but now I don’t think that’s what lunch hours should be for anyway.

I needed to read this. I am starting a new job with 3 office days and am so worried but I’ve been doing all the things you said. My DH felt I was having an affair with my work. I hope this will be positive for me.

IsabellaGoodthing · 10/01/2026 18:04

Buying a set of Stackers for my jewellery so I can put it all away neatly and quickly see what I have. Doesn't sound like much but it's a pleasure to use each day.
Unsubscribing from every single email I don't want to receive, and deleting my Junk folder.
Regularly going through my filing and removing anything I no longer need.
It's all about decluttering I suppose, but it definitely helps with feeling calm.
Unlike many people, I love getting and sending Christmas cards, so no action needed there. But I've cut right down on giving and receiving presents, which take up far more space.

dynamiccactus · 10/01/2026 18:08

One child, no pets, part-time job.

dynamiccactus · 10/01/2026 18:10

TheMentalMentalLoad · 09/01/2026 08:11

Do it. Seriously, for your own MH.

Agree, do it. You won't regret it, mums need time for themselves as well.

Elle771 · 10/01/2026 18:14

Charliede1182 · 10/01/2026 17:30

I've just hired a cleaner, they start next Wednesday. I feel guilty about the cost but my son and his wife who are both able bodied and have relatively undemanding work-from-home jobs and no kids have one, and they convinced me that the quality of life is better than the cost saved.

I live with a chronic illness, have two school aged children at home plus my 85 year old father with dementia and the world's mangiest cat so I feel like this expense is deserved.

It will definitely be worth it ❤️❤️

MakeMineAMilkyTea · 10/01/2026 18:40

A cleaner, an ironing lady, a gardener, online grocery shopping weekly deliveries. Gives me my time back.

good quality bedding, nice “luxury” products. I make it an experience and I use less than my son who goes through a £1.50 bottle of shower gel a week. My bottle of Molton brown lasts me 6 months of daily use!

I am on the clear out phase as we do have a lot of stuff and clothes wise I’m trying to make the switch to natural fibres and come away from polyester and the like.

FlapperFlamingo · 10/01/2026 19:47

I keep track of all my savings/pensions in a spreadsheet and update it each quarter. I then know where everything is, reference nos etc. and have an idea of how much is in the pot. This saves it being on my mind as I know where I am with it.

I also decluttered drastically about 4 years ago - I got rid of a lot of stuff that my parents had left that we didn't want/need. Everything now has it's place and if we buy anything it's to replace something or we know where it will live before it comes in! This means easier cleaning and no tripping over anything and has been amazing.

I also keep a job list (things like mending a shelf, fixing tile grout etc) and make sure I do at least one job a week and cross it off. Having a list means it is not on my mind and I can prepare for the job in advance and have stuff ready. Then the job is fairly simple as I have everything to hand.

StephensLass1977 · 10/01/2026 20:34

Nitgel · 09/01/2026 07:55

Watch tv from the 60s 70s and 80s. Better storylines. Intelligent and no loud soundtracks.

100% this. It's the only thing which keeps me sane in this crazy world. I will go one further and admit to sometimes watching shows aimed at children because I think I just crave those easier times.

Also no longer feeling obliged to keep in contact with every cousin, aunt and uncle "just because" society dictates it. I didn't even like most of them. My sister still feels this obligation and gets herself all stressed about the endless gossip arising from family gatherings. She still tries to rope me in to keep her company, but, nope. I decided in advance to end that obligation once both our parents had passed away, and I stuck to it. My circle is smaller but I feel SO much better.

WittyTaupeFox · 10/01/2026 20:43

Great thread. In addition to one’s already mentioned:

Amazon handbag organisers for big tote bags.

not having a junk drawer

organising the stuff that accumulates / I end up multi buying - so cleaning products and toiletries.

alarm wake up tunes I like!

making sure my bed is my sanctuary with best I can afford bedding and mattress. No clutter if I can help it. Make the bed as soon as I get up.

Vinted processes organised (one bag for “pre-post”, one place for after posting with a plastic box containing all packing materials / one bag for life always open for items to go to charity shop & kept near back door

cars on a “my garage app” with dates for MOT / insurance / tyre changes etc. clean car out of any wrappers from the DC daily & proper clean when we can manage (maybe fortnightly)

always have bags in the car for food shop and a small fold up bag in my handbag so as I’m not paying for single use bags

magnetic week on my fridge - I always have 2 weeks ahead and put our activities / school stuff and when the bins need to go out!!

I’ve started using the good candles

write a list of the events / things I need outfits for and plan well in advance by shopping my wardrobe Or just need to fill the gaps

this year I don’t want to shop for clothes unless in person and no fast fashion plastic / acrylic clothing

DuchessofStaffordshire · 10/01/2026 20:43

Nitgel · 09/01/2026 07:55

Watch tv from the 60s 70s and 80s. Better storylines. Intelligent and no loud soundtracks.

Slightly later than that (first broadcast in 1991), Prime Suspect with Helen Mirren! Just been binging them all on ITV player after endlessly moaning about all the crap on the TV lately. I've enjoyed seeing so many actors I recognise and saying 'I can't believe how young they looked back then!'.

PersephoneParlormaid · 10/01/2026 20:55

I watch Soldier, Soldier far too often, and I’ve been watching Big Bang Theory as I didn’t watch it first time round. I often click on Will and Grace or Everybody Loves Raymond.
Film wise I like Steel Magnolias, Hope Floats, Wedding Singer, Sweet Home Alabama. I also unexpectedly enjoyed the Godfather films.
For good quality TV you can’t beat a BBC adaptation such as Les Mis and Great Expectations. I watch Downton from the beginning, North and South with Richard Armitage, both Pride and Prejudice, and both Sense and Sensibility.
I just don’t think you can beat older TV/films.

OP posts:
MrsBobtonTrent · 10/01/2026 21:05

Not watching/reading the news (anything big, you will find out about anyway).

Early evening meal was a gamechanger for us.

Cut the addicts out of our lives - the chaos and drama pretty much disappeared. I worried I would feel heartless, but I just feel relief. And apparently they prefer their drink/drugs to us anyway so no loss there either.

Weekly meal plan - I don't miss the panicky what's-for-dinner and last minute cruise around the supermarket every night. Takeaways do not save time and neither do oven chips.

A silent phone is a happy phone. Everything on silent. Only DH and DC calling me makes a noise.

And no phones in the bedroom - no late night doomscrolling, no mornings wasted in bed mindlessly faffing, no creepy tech-bros listening to me sleep (or not) with DH.

Willchangenameafterthis · 10/01/2026 21:13

Also loving Foyles War, so calming and cerebral; and the clothes and cars are a joy.

ZiggyZowie · 10/01/2026 21:15

Getting rid of clutter.

My mind was affected by it.

When I go into a tidy room now I feel calmer

Farticus101 · 10/01/2026 21:16

Stopped almost all social media and don't own a TV so only watch what I choose online, rather than having background noise.

I wake up very early and get things done then. I'm just too tired in the evenings.

Set alarms for everything because my memory is so poor

I've stopped battling things so much and have learnt to accept more, but maybe this comes with growing older.

AInightingale · 10/01/2026 21:27

Yes to the poster who mentioned 'deleted the Daily Mail app' - horrible snarky 'journalism' that's frankly soul-destroying.

TheDenimPoet · 10/01/2026 21:33

I've come off Facebook as a new year's resolution. I know it's not even been 2 weeks yet, but honestly I feel a lot calmer.

There's been a situation over the past 12 months that's affected me and people I know and some people (not on "our side" of the situation - a family member of theirs committed a crime - child sex offence - and it impacted us badly, but they only see him as the little boy they raised and can't accept that it's as bad as it is) have been airing their dirty laundry for all to see. Getting rid of the temptation to see if anything else has been posted has been unreal when it comes to feeling calmer. Honestly.

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 10/01/2026 21:56

MayaPinion · 10/01/2026 15:20

Stopped working from home. We’ve always had a flexible/hybrid policy but after COVID I found I hardly ever went in and although I didn’t realise it I was becoming quite socially isolated and my work life was bleeding into my home life. I was answering work emails at 11pm and filling what should have been family time with inefficient work. In the last year I have:

  1. Gone in 9-5 Monday-Friday
  2. Left my laptop in work so I can’t work at home
  3. Taken work email off my personal phone
  4. Turned my home office back into my dining room and we use it all the time for meals, games, crafts, etc.
It made me realise how much I was paying for the convenience of working from home - the room, WiFi, heating, lighting, brain space, etc. By setting this boundary I’ve become much more focused at work, I’ve made some good work friends, and I have a lot more influence. Being visible, beyond being a face on a Teams call, has led to several great opportunities I wouldn’t have had otherwise. And maybe I can’t put on the laundry or pop a casserole in the slow cooker during my lunch hour anymore, but now I don’t think that’s what lunch hours should be for anyway.

I'm applying for a job which is 5 days in the office, I've been so unsure about actually applying but after reading this I'm thinking it might actually be a good thing.

I've definitely become socially isolated and I check emails at 8pm at night instead of leaving it when I finish at 4pm. And I never switch off from work as my work laptop is there, when I go for lunch I'm always thinking about work too.

My current office is too far for me to go in more than once a week, the new one would be local and a much more pleasant drive.

fableless · 10/01/2026 21:57

Left all the school WhatsApp groups.

Puffalicious · 10/01/2026 22:20

Lovely thread.

I made a commitment this time last year to walk fast everyday for minimum 45 minutes. I've done it 90% of the time. It's great for clearing my mind, I've listened to some phenomenal pod-casts, & I've toned my legs & lost a bit of weight - meaning my clothes fit better & I'm calmer. When I can It's lovely park-land/ woods, but even my city streets are interesting as there's so many different routes/ areas.

I went back to working 3 days almost 2 years ago. Fantastic. Yes, we're more skint, but that doesn't matter. It means I can deal with all house stuff/ admin/ appointments as well as decorating (bedroom last Spring & bathroom refit this autumn), catching up the odd time with much loved people for a cuppa/ lunch or just reading my book for an hour. DS3 has significant ASN & life is hard, so it needed balancing whilst he's at school & I can breathe.

Ditto to the only going to what or where I want to go to and with whom. I have many acquaintances that I like, but a small circle of fabulous friends that I keep close. I love my siblings & cousins, but keep meetings on my terms- to hell with what they think!

I like quiet weekends at home or in nature, if I'm out it's to a lovely coffee shop or 'out out' once a month max.