How do you deal with bad news?

[SmockAndBeret]

Had some bad and worrying news a few hours ago. My DD (age 27) has cancer.
I’m not sure what to do with my hands or my mind. I can’t stop panicking. Try to put it to the back of my mind for a time as I can’t do anything about it, but then it suddenly roars at me. I’m feeling absolutely knocked sideways.
How do you find the strength to stay normal, focused and healthy in such situations? I need to be strong to support her.

Oh how sad I’m so sorry. As hard as it is whenever I have had bad news I try to try and keep my mind on other things such as clean / housework anything to keep my mind off it. Maybe listen to a podcast. Sorry if not much help x

I'm so sorry about your daughter, she's so young. I was also going to suggest Sarcoma UK, they were excellent when I needed them for my rare sarcoma 4 years ago. I also have a friend who had cancer in his leg as a teenager and he's got an Olympic gold medal now.
I will just say that I held off telling my teens about my cancer until after Christmas 4 years ago and I wish i hadn't because one of them somehow overheard something despite us being really careful, he had googled and had kept it to himself poor boy. I wish I had told them all sooner but I appreciate it's up to your DD. All the best for good scan results.

Thanks for your further kind comments, everyone. Even the briefest well-wishers have made a difference.

Oh, so many of us affected. @BellaVita I’m so sorry to hear about your lovely son. I can’t begin to imagine you and your family’s heartbreak and loss. Wishing you peace and strength 💐

@Decoart how is your DD doing now? Hope there are brighter days ahead. I will be contacting the charities and support. Hard agree about the shock and horror. This is the worst moment of my life and it may get worse.

@MissSmiley I hope things are better for you now.
Telling people is difficult, yes, though DD is just getting on with it. Our two youngest still don't know yet - one is 15, doing GCSEs; the other is 19 and very vulnerable due to autism and extremely poor mental health. They are going to be crushed.

How awful at such a young age. my thoughts are with you all.
My dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour and It's all a blur now, but I do remember going for a lot of walks. I think it gave my brain the opportunity to process it but while doing something at the same time. Swimming also helped numb things.

I do remember having a few drinks and immediately regretting it, that was defo not a good coping mechanism especially as it was gin and gin makes me a little maudlin anyway!

I just wanted to come back and say that I’ve been thinking about you, your daughter and your family and that I’m so sorry for what you are all going through.

Another thing that you could try is to plan in some little things to look forward to doing together, can be things to do at home like watching a film, one of those at home escape room type activities, playing a new board game, even online shopping for something nice etc. I don’t have experience of this type of cancer but the treatment can feel really brutal and long and all the milestones become about that for a while so having some nice ones to mark the time too help as does doing something that isn’t all about the cancer.

I become practical and positive. Finding solutions really helps me.

I am in the middle of cancer treatment too so I get you ,
Go with her to her appointments, look at treatment options , be guided by the oncologist. All cancers are different and they will know the best options

She will be ok

@Wishingforwhatshouldhavebeen thank you for your continued thoughts and support.
DD and her partner are coming to us for the weekend and we have some nice things planned - some family traditions and some new things. DD is amazingly positive and upbeat, but still waiting for date for PET scan and surgery. The surgery is huge and brutal.

We told our youngest (15) last night. She was very upset. Don't think my mum (79) is taking it well either.

@Maddy70 I hope your treatment is progressing well and doing what it should. You're right, it certainly feels better to be getting on with things and being practical.

I’ve been there. Thinking of you. One day at a time and breath exercises helped me through.