Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

The people commenting are her adult children, the OP didn’t mention that they’re obese.

Youngest of 12 here and I'm absolutely the same in terms of wanting to eat quickly and enjoying food much better when I can stuff it in rapidly. Someone bigger was always waiting to steal my food. Especially the good stuff like fruit or cake.

Interesting that you never developed any other signs of disordered eating though. I definitely did and still struggle.

Though I think the fact I became "sickly" aged around 4 had a big impact for me. My mother was desperate to feed me and did all kinds of weird shit like pureeing my food and allowing me to eat jars of baby food. I was also rewarded and praised for cleaning my plate. I was fully recovered physically by 6 years but the psychological impact has been life long.

Profiteroles are designed to be eaten as one complete bite each. So they’re not huge… your mouth must be the size of a small child’s!

I'm one of 6 and my dh is one of 9, we both do eat very quickly, and my dh does put too much in his mouth at once! Not sure if it's related to family size, but makes sense. Not many seconds going in our houses as kids!

I have always done everything quickly, I eat fast and walk fast and generally do everything at a fast pace, it would drive me nuts otherwise so yes I’d scoff down my meal in seconds as I don’t really chew. I have ADHD and think it’s part of it as I’m just impatient.
I’m also your size and late 40s I don’t think I’d be able to change now.
Normal upbringing though, just one other sibling and quite comfortably off.

Paul McKenna's diet stuff talks about eating slowly and was quite useful.

Tell them to bugger off though. We call it inhaling food.

My husband eats really fast and stuffs his mouth full. I don't mind except he's also loud as a result, that does annoy me... That said I try not to show it because he works a very manual job and is always so hungry by time he gets home so I know why he does it 😅

You’ve said you shove huge amounts into your mouth at once. That’s ramming, cramming and gobbling… you also say you only do it in front of family. Maybe they don’t like it as much as strangers wouldn’t

I eat fast, always have as an adult. Mines not from childhood but being a mum to a lot of dc. I had to eat my meals fast before one of them started whinging or trying to eat off my plate.

i ear politely in company though although it’s frustrating, i just want to take big bites and get it over with

Are you channeling you inner dog?

You sound completely mad but great fun.

Carry on! 😀

A whole chocolate is not odd at all

This is I think at the bottom of your speedy eating. The way appetite works is that it takes a while (at least 20 minutes) for your brain to catch up with the sense that your stomach is full. So eating slower means you eat less overall, digest a bit of it as you go, and don't easily reach that extra full feeling. Eating a large amount very fast means you eat more overall and physically your stomach starts to be trained to expact larger quantities very quickly.get to that feeling of satiety, where you feel very full. Some people like that feeling and find it comforting, and some really hate it.

A childhood like yours with competition for scarce food or for seconds to fill up also means you will have been subconsciously worried you would still be hungry at the end of the meal. So now, even as an adult you speed up. Psychologically you now equate that overfull feeling with pleasure and being 'safe' from hunger. Hence finding having to slow down when eating in public isn't pleasurable as you never quite reach that point of total 'fullness'.

People who find fast eating unpleasant will often associate it with greediness or selfishness (racing to eat more than everyone else). This will also have been deeply ingrained in them since childhood, the opposte to you. The feeling of 'disgust' is quite a powerful emotion that b irngs up strong reactions hence they are the ones using the words you difficult (cramming, stuffing, gobbling etc). They aren't necessarily being deliberately unkind when they do this.

For example I grew up with a very poor single mother in the '70's and we were defiintely not allowed to eat fast because there wasn't a lot of food to go around. Mum served my siblings and I roughly the same amount on our plates (but males got a bit more ......) and we were not allowed to take food off each other's plates no matter how fast you ate. There were usually no 'seconds' (any leftovers were saved for another meal). However if we were still hungry we were allowed some bread & butter/jam. So my feelings about food, and my capacity for portions, are very different to yours and I'd hate to eat a massive pudding in 4 bites and the warm feeling in my stomach would be incredily uncomfortable and cause me pain. Neither of us are 'wrong'.

Says who? In polite circles, they are sliced and eaten in two or three bites. Most women have smaller jaws! It’s entirely normal.

I'm pleased it isn't just me. I'm one of those annoying people that has to ask for my coffee hot in cafes, after feeling the temperature at the start is how it should be at the end!
I always find carveries too cold, and buffets in general. I like my bathes piping hot too, (sorry I do digress).

I’m reading this thread with a cup of coffee after one of my favourite Yuletide meals, known here in South Wales as FryUp!

The vegetable leftovers from a ‘roast dinner’ or cooked dinner’ cut into medium chunky pieces and heated in oil. Preferably there is mashed potatoes to bind it together. Served with the rest of the main attraction of the previous meal, in this case, Quorn roast.
The condiments come into their own, pickled onions and shallots, cranberry sauce, Stokes brown sauce.
We had Sprout Gratin too, which is amazing.

The reason I am commenting on this thread is that DW and I are total examples of a speedy and a slow eater.
She is the youngest of three, I am an only child. When we got together 27 years ago I was dumbstruck by the fact that she ate so quickly. She has perfect manners but just eats as though the food might disappear.

I have taken ages to eat the meal I described earlier. I sent DW to go an read a book while I finished. We chatted and talked about lots of things, made some plans etc and she sat for nearly 10 mins as I carried on eating.
DW has ADHD and I think that explains why she eats quickly, she will hyper focus in her food. She says she knew I was an only child when I would leave things for later. In her house someone would definitely eat whatever it was.😳😂

There was a thread recently about annoyinguedts/table manners and I couldn’t read the descriptions of someone masking all their meal together.
OP obviously has excellent manners in public abd it is definitely fine for her to eat as she wishes in her own home.

I’m going to nibble on an After Eight in her honour over another cup of coffeel. Only kidding!!

My husband’s brothers all eat really quickly. Barely even look up between mouthfuls nor put down their cutlery. My kids used to have friends over for play dates who ate like pigs at troughs - eyes down, tuck in. It was so embarrassing to take them out, even for pizza - you’d think they were scared the food was going to be taken away.

I find this utterly repulsive and vulgar. Thankfully, my husband has manners, despite being raised in the same home.

Hey op. I think you sound great. You moderate yourself in public but you know how you personally enjoy food. You understand why you are like you are and accept yourself for how you are. Nothing you do sounds like it harms others or yourself. And I think that sounds like a healthy place to be.

I too enjoy cramming crisps in. I hear you.

Ugh. You sound nasty!

YANBU, I can see how it might seem rude but it is more than understandable. Less understandable is why your parents decided to have fifteen children, but that's a story for another day (one of my bugbears in life is people having more children than they can provide for, as it is very very unfair on the kids IMO)

Nasty maybe, but it is pretty rude to wolf down food. It is basic manners, really.

I'm loving this thread with its depictions of people ramming food down their cakeholes 😆

I eat very, very fast too - probably from my siblings taking it off my plate if not eaten within 20 seconds.
The reactions from people, it's as if I've been sitting belching God Save the King at the table, rather than just eating a bit faster than is normal. Women, especially, tell me I should eat more slowly. Occasionally, I snap back that they should eat more quickly.

@IamEarthymama
Today 15:56
I’m reading this thread with a cup of coffee after one of my favourite Yuletide meals, known here in South Wales as FryUp!
The vegetable leftovers from a ‘roast dinner’ or cooked dinner’ cut into medium chunky pieces and heated in oil.

Yes, I'm with you on this. It is sort of a pimped up bubble & squeak. We put all the left overs in a big bowl, heat up pan, and add butter, yum. We something drizzle left over gravy in too, and condiments on the side. I honestly enjoy it more than the main event. Even better with a crispy yorkshire to scoop it up!

I’m lovely 😂

I just abhor bad manners.

Why didn't your parents tell your siblings not to take food from your plate? That is appalling manners. I am an only child but I know people who have siblings and nobody would have taken food from each others' plate, or their parents would have punished them.