Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

I had my niece staying over recently. We had a tub of chocolates sitting on the table. She kept looking at them so I said she could have some. She ate about half the tub in 10 minutes. Wrappers in a big pile on the table. This wasn't long after having pasta. The next day she got up, sat down and ate all but 3 of the chocolates. I didn't give her a row though because she is one of 7 kids and they all do the same thing. Act as if food is scarce and they might not get it again. They do. Their parents don't starve them. It saddens me. So I understand where you're coming from OP and I wouldn't judge at all.

Have you seen the bit in Friends where Rachel complains that Ross eats at a million miles an hour and Ross replies that he grew up with Monica, if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat?

Really common and totally normal @upstairsdownstairscardboardbox

I have a thing about the fridge and cupboards being full. This is from my childhood where a kind of prepper mentality was given to me - to stock up when I have money to see me through times when I don't. It hasn't done me too badly to be honest, but friends and partners have commented on it over the years.

Then I was about to move house, ran down the supplies to my great discomfort, moved the day before lockdown and was absolutely fucked for supplies! So of course all that panic and trying to get deliveries just reinforced my stockpiling ways.

I eat really fast too. Not sure if it is related. But we all have our funny ways and experiences. Contrary to what some might believe, there is no A* awarded at the end of life for doing everything 'correctly.'

My DH hates noisy eaters. As a result, he takes huge spoonfuls and swallows as fast as possible. He eats huge portions but im sure its because he doesnt eat properly in avoiding trying ti make any eating noise at all!

DH eats like this and is one of six. I do notice it's more common in men in general though

@Manxexile they would eat a lindor truffle in 2, for example. A pastry they would nibble at over 20 mins. I laugh at them and pop another one in tbh, but it is a bit grating after a while! Esp over Xmas when we all eat so much all the time!

Interesting. It must not be unusual, my boyfriend had a very deprived upbringing and he basically inhales all his food. He doesn’t eat a lot, not at all, but it gets eaten in the blink of an eye.

I’m from a culture of slow eaters and I’m always trying to rush when eating with his family, I’m always well behind.

About the chocolate I think it would depend on the size. I’d be well impressed and maybe slightly weirded out to see someone manage to get an entire kitkat in there all at once.

@Fireplacewatcher and there is nothing nicer on this earth than sitting in front of the fire eating a massive pudding in 4 massive bites is there? Then slumping back and enjoying the warm feeling in your tummy. Sigh.

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox i eat my lindors in two as well but picking at a pastry for 20min sounds ridiculous. I’d probably assume the person has an ED and is trying to slowly tear it away instead of eating.

Ah, see I shove it in whole and let it melt.
They last ages that way, unlike DH who eats them like they're popcorn.
I'm not shovelling them in one after another. 😳

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox- eat however you want!

As a child we had to eat in silence and I still find it hard to chat whilst eating now and nearly always finish first. In company I try and slow down and push the last few bits round my plate so I’m not the first to finish (probably second TBH), but childhood ingrained behaviours are so hard to break, it’s like being on auto-pilot.

My table manners are ok - no elbows on the table, cutlery used ‘correctly’, chewing with my mouth closed so I think it’s fine.

Not really relevant but I also find sitting around on a dining chair chatting after eating really hard and uncomfortable, and a bit boring really. Food is just fuel and serves a purpose.

I can see why up does this. Not unreasonable and I don’t think anyone should be commenting on how you eat.

Im the opposite. I’m 5”6 and size ten, so not overweight. I’ve found as I hit menopause I just lost my appetite. I’ve always been a bit faddy - I find something I like and eat that for a month or so and then move to my next thing. At the moment it’s chicken dinners with lots of veg. But I pick at it like a sparrow and find I can’t even eat half of what I’d like to.

I wish I could get my old appetite back.

@WinterWooliesBaa As someone who eats small bites would you mention it? I wonder if everyone understands the misogyny around women eating big mouthfuls or being perceived as greedy? Not suggesting for a moment you think this or say it but would you wonder out loud "Ooooo how did you fit that in your mouth" if you were with someone dear to you?

put cutlery down between bites? You are kidding me

is this a reverse ?

I wouldn’t, no. Especially not profiteroles, they are huge! However, I do have a small jaw. Too small for wisdom teeth to come through. In fact I had to have teeth removed as a teen due to lack of space.

I’m one of six so I totally get what you’re saying, I do eat in a civilised manner but it is an effort to slow down. MIL eats very slowly I feel like stabbing her hand with a fork sometimes and telling her to hurry up. Her food is totally cold by the time she is finished.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers.

You ever thought of writing a book?

" (1) Girl(s) Aloud" or some such?

This
My DM gobbled food, ripped it with her teeth instead of using a knife and crammed her mouth full
To make it worse she then spoke with her mouth full of food.

It was awful

@IsThisTheWaytoSlamMyPillow I hate formal dining too, brings out all my anxieties.
We once stayed as guests with very posh french people for a week and it was hell, 2-3 hour meals and almost no actual food at all! We had to escape and go and get chips and pancakes most days (in secret!)

My DH is just like you. Also from a big family (though not as big as yours) and his Mum used to rapidly spoon food into his mouth from an early age - she always had so much to do and everyone else to feed so it was quick or nothing kind of thing!

He now eats super quick, takes a full mouthful of food, chews maybe four/five times then swallows it. He will go into the kitchen to get a bun or biscuit or something and it's gone before he walks back through to the lounge.

I am completely the opposite - love to savour my food, take my time and make an occasion of it - as that's what my parents always did and that's how I grew up.

DH always eats politely in public but at home he literally inhales food - I can hear his intake of breath with each mouthful!

@cheeseonsofa ram, cram, gobble, rip. Wow. You don't like her much.
Read what I wrote. I don't do that.

Just to add this is where a lot of gastic and reflux issues probably come from though, animals in general do eat too fast but humans have the ability to slow down

@SamorDean I once ate a whole tub of roses at a sleepover just because it was there, no one making 17 piles of shares! I was sick and learned a lesson but I have no regrets. I really enjoyed them at the time.

I dont think its misogyny to mention just a dislike of appalling manners.

I bought a tub of Quality St and Celebrations for Christmas.
I've eaten 2 sweets (and there's a green triangle waiting for me to be in the right mood). The rest are gone.
DH, as a child in early December at Christmas, was told he'd have to wait until Christmas day/Boxing day for sweets etc. He'd wait until his mum would let him have them, and then refuse to eat them. I now buy double and hide one so he has something to have between Christmas and New Year.