Adam Ramsay Peaty

[Mrsnothingthanks]

And why not? Why is it still seen as so "out there" that a man should double-barrel upon marriage? Nobody would pass one comment if his wife had changed her name to Holly Peaty.
My husband and I both db'd upon marriage. Titles remain unchanged.
It's 2025 ffs!! Stop with the misogyny!

Obviously I've used the word 'own' to repeatedly explain to you why you were wrong to attribute it to me. This error of yours continues to matter.

You're correct that males don't own surnames any more than females do, but that again is not what was being called out. You applied a double standard in the points I quoted, and it remains telling that you've repeatedly failed to justify or explain that when it's pointed out. All you've done is pretended people were arguing with you about surnames being mostly patrilineal and claimed that reading your posts will make your point clear. If it was that clear you'd be able to do a non-shit job at explaining it.

We did, I changed mine to his. I must admit I never thought of him changing his name to mine 21 years ago, so the question never arose. The simplest way to avoid being asked whether we were fans of a well-known actor (not Tom Cruise but that level) for the rest of our lives was for someone to change their name. It wouldn't have been a problem otherwise to keep my name, no-one was pressuring me to change it. If I had been older and more professionally established in my maiden name I'd have kept it. I definitely thought about double barrelling the name as and equitable solution and as our friends did with theirs. But as it was a bit of a daft combo for the reasons set out above, we didn't. Sorry to have (apparently) let feminism down, but practicality won out.

Also married 21 years ago and i would never have considered my name changing rather than him to be in any way “practical”.

You followed the patriarchal (sexist) tradition without much thought, as many many women do. I hope that by keeping my name and passing it on to DD it helps shift the mindset for her in the future.

I don't see any issue with this. It's becoming more common in the UK.

Ramsay is the more famous name

Urgh a shouty chef more famous than one of the best swimmers this country has ever had with a dozen world records broken and who is one of the best, if not the best, breaststroke swimmers in the world ever.

That’s not a comment on him changing his name. I don’t care about that at all and know plenty of men who’ve gone double barrelled.

Apparently the family of his ex are calling him a hypocrite now because when their son was born, she wanted to double barrel the little one’s name with her surname (they weren’t married) but he “put his foot down” that the boy would have only his surname, but now he’s double barrelled his own name.

“He put his foot down”

And what? The kid’s mum had a gun to her head? Nah, have some agency.

I agree. Especially when not married, it was completely in her hands. Years ago if unmarried the children usually got the mother's name, that I remember anyway, that seems to have changed now.

He couldn’t have stopped her giving their son both names.

The mother decided what went on the birth certificate. He had no legal say whatsoever. She could and should have ignored him.

It’s changed because people are misunderstanding ‘tradition’. Unmarried mothers are so common now but many people have it stuck in their heads that babies are given their father’s name traditionally so are, in their eyes, sticking with tradition to give the baby its father’s name, when in fact babies were always given their mother’s name, which tended to be the father’s name if the mother was married.

On the contrary, I gave it a lot of thought at the time, discussed it with friends IRL and online and came to a different decision than you. Feminism is about choice.

Some people find marriage itself outdated and patriarchal so would castigate you for getting married.

For me, what you make of the marriage itself and not the history of the institution or names of the individuals involved is the inportant thing.

We would have had a civil partnership had they been available to straight couples at the time. They weren’t, so we married purely for the legal protections it offered.

I must admit I never thought of him changing his name to mine 21 years ago, so the question never arose.

So you only ever thought about whether you should change your name and never once thought it was odd that only you had to consider that because you have a vagina. And not one friend or website even suggested that men could change their names. (You clearly weren’t hanging out on the same forums as me.) Feminism is about equality. The more women that believe it is only they that have the choice or expectation to change names the less chance men will. It appears Adam Ramsay Peaty is more of a feminist than you, dear.

You never know, one of their kids might marry one of Nicola and Brooklyns and become a Ramsay-Peaty-Peltz-Beckham just to cram in as many famous names possible.

I don't like double barrelled names but Ramsey-Peaty or even Peaty-Ramsey just do not go together at all

Yes to this.

You can’t seriously still be going?

I never attributed the word “own” to you, I used it myself.

You’ve invented a double standard for your own agenda, partly because you jumped in late in the discussion looking for an argument, and hadn’t read pps that had clarified your misinterpretation. Any that’s the end of the matter.

His ex wanted double barrel for thief son and he said no - under the thumb completely

I'm not sure what your problem is. Great that you are a feminist, but it sounds like you need to work on not being so incredibly hypercritical and miserable about life. I hope 2026 brings you more happiness and contentment.

Do you say that about the man every time a woman double barrels and her husband does not?

Hey, I’m just responding to the words you wrote. I will be critical when people use “feminist choice” to excuse utterly non-feminist actions!!!!

Both my Dds have done this so they are her name -his name and son in laws are also her name-his name i really isn't a huge deal that some posters have made out, I mean I even read it was "cringe" !

I deeply regret clicking 'show quote history'

So he was capable of saying no then but is suddenly 'under the thumb' now? Maybe he simply feels differently 5 years later.

It's always funny when people who haven't got anything to say in defence of their nonsense fall back on complaining that other people are posting.

If you weren't trying to attribute the word 'own' to me, that makes it even more odd that you replied to a post of mine saying you never said men owned their surnames.

It can't be me inventing a double standard when I've used quotes from you. Quotes that you still can't explain or defend, however much you bluster. You wrote what you wrote.