If you help financially put one child through uni, and the other didn't go to uni, would you gift that child money to compensate

[NewYearFitQueen]

Or how do you intend to balance it out ?

I would pay for some work related training in the future, or maybe a van for self employment.

Yes I would gift them the equivalent.

Not me but my DH,
1 SIL went to uni funded by PiLs, they then paid for the wedding of other SiL to a similar value and gave DH a gift towards our 1st house deposit also same value

No, I wouldn’t,

I’d offer both children equal amounts to help them in whatever career or education they choose. Eg uni help, living rent free, subsidising a low paying apprenticeship, paying for a non-uni course/exams etc.
I would not feel like I needed to make sure they both received exactly the same.

Agree with the last poster, I wouldn’t make sure they received exactly the same, I would make sure they had the same chances. So if one child goes to uni, I will make sure the other one gets help if they want to train to do something but I don’t poorly just give them the cash, no.

No, I'd just be prepared to help at a later date with something they needed.

Yes I would give them equal amounts but it would have to fund something.

I wouldn’t at first because they may go to university later, or if applicable I’d help with vocational training. I would not though charge rent to a working young adult

Depends on what is possible for you of course but I intend to help my children become self sufficient - what that means might be different for each and I wouldn’t expect to keep a score card. My daughter is thinking about college and we would hope to pay for that for her.

I wouldn’t give exact same £ value to compensate.
I would support them equally towards a common level of qualification.

No, but then I also would expect the child who goes to university to be self sufficient sooner whilst the other one might need support here and there for longer.

Treating children fairly doesn’t mean that you have to treat them the same or be as arbitrary as giving a set amount regardless of its use.

Some parents will give money to a child to enable them to go to university or for a wedding but not everyone gets married or studies for a degree.

No not unless they also needed it for education.

I wasn’t given a penny to go to university but my DB was fully funded by my parents. He is 7 years younger and their financial situation had changed by the time he went. It actually didn’t bother me. I was working and earning by then. They have however helped out with my DS school fees to the equivalent value because I think they always felt bad

No, just as I wouldn’t buy one a new hoodie “to make it fair” because the other had grown out of their school trousers. One is a need, the other is not.

But I’d pay for equivalent vocational training, or a car/van to get to work, or something like that.

No, but like pps I would make sure the money was available to help them with their career in a different way. I’d have the conversation with both of them before they make the decision on what they want to do, as money can influence this, and let them know there’s some money out aside to help them in their careers, whether that’s university, professional qualifications or help starting self employment, or re-training later in life, so they know what’s available and can plan their careers.

No, I don't need to balance it out. If one doesn't go, I might buy them something else that helps them get started in life, but I'm not giving university fees to a child that didn't go. That seems unfair in itself as they then have all the money to use for something like a house, travel, etc, while the other has it all spent on their education. If you go to university, we will fund you. If you don't but do something else, like go into a trade, we will equip you for that with a vehicle and tools, etc. If you just go straight to employment, you don't need anything.

I find it tends to balance out over time anyway. One of mine that hasn't gone to uni has had big medical expenses we have funded. We help on a needs basis and it seems to balance out naturally.

I’m the non Uni child in this situation and whilst there wasn't an exact plan to make it even, my parents helped me out with a few different things e.g. money towards a car when I got a job with more driving, help towards the cost of a new bathroom when I bought my first house etc which they always said was to even out what they gave to my sister for the 4 years she was at uni.

I am giving my children the same amount in different ways. One is academic and wants to study so we will support that. The other is at a special school and might need setting up in a home business or something else.

No. I don't think it is necessary to support your children by giving them exactly the same, at the same time. They will have different wants and needs at different stages of their lives. Unless you are incredibly rich I also don't think it's sustainable.
One might go to uni, and one might need driving lessons and a car. One might need help with a house deposit when the other might rather money towards a wedding. As long as each feels supported, emotionally and what you can afford financially then that's what matters.
I'd definitely rethink my financial contributions if either of my children expected pound for pound what the other received.

No, I wouldn't. That would be rewarding a child for not going to Uni.

What I would do is be equally prepared to support them at Uni, or through similar vocation training/early career set up costs, whatever that looked like. Equality of the offer. If one chose not to take up opportunities for support offered, they don't get a cash gift instead!

Dd got a part time job and funded herself with bursaries.. No board paid to me
Ds didn't go to uni instead working full time. He paid me board at his insistence..
Different dc with different situations.. Both thought each way was fair.

This is a good question, mine are younger but definitely something to bear in mind. I certainly wouldn’t want to make it known in advance that we’d give them cash for not going to uni though, as it might discourage them.

My eldest went to uni, she got a little less than the full loan so I did contribute financially but not massively. My youngest is now doing an apprenticeship and living at home instead of uni. He certainly doesn’t need financial support from me but he’s living in a nice warm house with a fully trained housemate (me). She left uni with student debts and an overdraft, he’ll finish his apprenticeship with significant savings.
They’re treated fairly but not the same.

No.

I’m one of three siblings and the only one who didn’t have a private school education, and the only one whose uni education were not funded.

I became more successful than either of my siblings however, and married someone equally successful.

I’m now no contact with my parents - not because of the money, but because the favouritism was cruel.