Realised that it really is just us

[ForTheForseeable]

DH and two children. I can't complain, life is good and I know that.

But this year has made me realise it is just us. In laws moved 500 miles away. She's really not interested. DM passed away 18 months ago. DF is in care in his mid eighties.

I have siblings but we aren't close. DH's bio dad is an abusive alcoholic and we haven't spoken for four years. DH has half siblings but they are all with MIL and her husband.

I know social media is the work of the devil but it's plastered with big family meet ups and I've realised that this is it for us, this is how the Christmas period will be for many years.

Anyone else in the same boat?

I’m no contact with my Mother due to abuse, she started a smear campaign against me and so now my Dad/sibling/Aunts & Uncles all took her side.

I’ve spent my Christmas my daughter and I. It may be incredibly small but it’s safe, it’s peaceful & full of love. It’s still really healthy to acknowledge and process that of course seeing big family gatherings hurts. It’s only natural to want to be embraced by a warm, loving family.

I always worry my kids miss out. I'm an only child and DH doesn't get along with his siblings. Unfortunately both sets of parents have passed so it is just us. No grandparents and there hasn't been for a while .

It makes me sad when I see kids going to see their grandparents and things and ours don't have that, but they have us, and each other and we are very grateful for that.

You are allowed to feel sad about these things, don't let other people in MN tell you otherwise. It's not a competition, everyone is entitled to feel sad about their situations even when we all know there is always someone worse off than yourself, it doesn't make your feelings invalid x

I loved the big family Christmas's of the past but it was different then - all my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc lived in the same city. The kids were just left to run wild and the adults got drunk. Probably wouldn't be acceptable anymore!
Nowadays we live a few hundred miles from my home town and even my dc are spread far and wide. I did spend Christmas at dd2's house with my 4 dc, their dps, my dm and df, exdh and 3 dgc and it was lovely but there were difficulties. Not sure if that will happen again as next year dd1 and dd2 spend it with their ils and with more dgc it gets difficult accommodating them. My only sibling died last year.

No your the only one lol. Really OP you know from
Posts on here.not everyone has family around.
Even those who do arent always happy with them.

We’re a similar setup, OP. My parents are dead, MIL too, no siblings local or wider family. FIL and DH are estranged for very good reasons. DH doesn’t have any friends of his own so it’s us and our YA DCs.

I did go through a period of time feeling very low about this and that it was very different from the Christmases I experienced growing up. Yes, there are plenty of people who have less or have it worse but that doesn’t mean your awareness of your own situation isn’t valid.

Please don't read people's comments and feel like you shouldn't feel as you do (unfortunately I read some as "there's worse off than you")

I get how you feel.
I feel simlar at times yet with a different set up than you (and others)

Fact is life doesn't work out how you imagined. And sometimes that hurts

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate the responses and it certainly has made me feel less alone (again, not helped by sm but certainly the only people around us in that position and I don't mean just a few people)

We spent yesterday with friends which was lovely and it was nice for the kids too. Now the intensity of Christmas day has gone I feel better about our situation and know we have lots of things to look forward to. I floated the idea to DH of going away and he agreed it has been a bit of a sobering reminder this year so that's a possibility I think. :-)