My DM just turned up at my work.

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

We’re currently not in contact.

I left an abusive relationship, she sided with my ex (he presents as charming and helpful to the outside world), told me they’d disowned me and made some seriously vile comments.

It came to a head on my birthday when I’d travelled an hour to see them (they invited me), my dad had a face like thunder the entire time and kept muttering ‘for fucks sake’ under his breath, my mum kept telling me I should go back to my ex despite me telling her that wasn’t possible, they chucked me out after 45 minutes because my dad wanted to watch ‘The Chase’ and I went home.

I’ve not contacted them since. They picked my exes side and my mum has a long history of tormenting me. They are free to do this, but I no longer want to be their punch bag. I’m done.

I did send a nice Christmas card because they are my parents. But that’s been the only contact.

Anyway, she turned up at my work with gifts. I’m not there today, my colleague messaged me.

I’m pretty stressed as my ex is contacting various people trying to get my new address and I changed my number because of his constant abuse. I can’t give my parents this information because they’ll probably tell my ex (they’ll see it as them wanting to get us back together).

I’m fairly certain that if my ex gets his hands on me he’ll kill me. Police aren’t interested.

My manager is aware that my ex is a problem and may contact work. It’s all a PITA.

I’m not even after advice. I just need to put my thoughts in writing.

It’s all such a headfuck.

Please get back in touch with police and at the very least request a panic button

Totally agree that the police are more than useless when it comes to stalking. Cant do anything unless crime has been committed, but what do they expect people to do, live with it and hope for the best 😡

I was referring to the OPs later post where she said she had gone to them and reported her ex on 1 of the strangling incidences, and police wasn't interested. They deal with domestic abuse in an entirely different way and are obligated to investigate and take it all the way. I know that it is taken out of the victims hands whether or not they want to press charges then after the report has been made

OP please go back to the police. They WILL help. An ex of mine was controlling, psychologically abusive and then physically abusive. A neighbour reported him to the police. They were amazing. I can’t fault them. Please try again, for your own safety.

Sending thoughts and solidarity. I am no contact with my FOO. Also have nightmare abusive ex. So bad that in a very public facing 'everyone must have a profile etc for clients' firm, I got dispensation to not have a public facing profile.
Anyhoo, parents tried turning up at work, having emailed with no response. Thankfully I work somewhere that I can ask IT to automatically block any email or call from their emails/phone numbers. I did this via HR so they knew formally. When they turned up, I phoned security who escorted them off the premises. Security also made sure they had gone before I left the building. If it's possible to get this sort of thing in place, do it, @TheLightSideOfTheMoon Your employer will be wanting to look after you if they know even half of what's gone on in your life.

Don't send them any more cards etc. Completely no contact.

Just an idea to throw them off the scent… message your mother to explain an ex colleague messaged you as you’ve recently moved jobs but you do not want any further contact whilst she is in contact with him (or whatever your boundary is…)

Get In with the national domestic violence helpline op. It’s possible they can get an emergency non molestation order against your ex which means the police have to take it much more seriously (I had to go down this route with my ex).