Christmas - why don’t I get the magic of it?

[ZeroMagic]

Have been meaning to write this post for years.

I just don’t get Christmas at all. Can somebody please explain the point of it? I’m not religious - haven’t got kids. Why would I put a tree up in my house? It’s nuts 🤷🏼‍♀️.

There’s just DH & me. We don’t live near family, but we get on very well with them & they come to stay with us throughout the year. I love having them here but I don’t feel the need to be with them on this particular day. Why would I?

Growing up I remember Christmas very fondly. Nice presents, stockings, lunch etc. But it feels entirely false & utterly pointless for me to put up decorations & recreate that. Anyway I haven’t actually got any decorations - never have had.

DH is possibly even less Christmassy than me.

Talking to pals yesterday (all of whom are well into Christmas) they seem to be having a great time but for me it’s just a normal week. Seeing video of their houses full of baubles & tinsel had me thinking WTAF? Why are you doing this? I know if I’d asked they would say because it’s Christmas. That doesn’t answer anything though does it?

I don’t want to sound joyless & miserable because I’m definitely not. I’m retired, comfortable financially, happy with DH. I’ve got a lovely life that I wouldn’t change but a teeny tiny part of me wonders if I’m missing out by not getting it?

We celebrate birthdays which to me feels much more appropriate. Why would I celebrate Jesus’ birthday if I’m not religious?

I’m not criticising those who are into Christmas - just trying to understand why you are. Particularly if you haven’t got kids & aren’t religious.

Early 60’s - not ND - two grown up DSC.

Same here. It just feels so arbitrary to me to randomly put a tree and decorations up in a house. I don't begrudge anyone doing it but I have zero interest. I understand that if you're working hard all year that it's nice to have a break, gather together with friends and family, enjoy a big meal together etc but it's all utterly meaningless to me.

If you don't want to celebrate, then that's fair enough. It isn't compulsory.

Many people enjoy the tradition of celebrating Christmas and the various rituals that are associated with it. It is cultural as much as it is religious - I'm an atheist but I do enjoy Christmas.

You do you.

That’s exactly it - arbitrary & random!

I think this is a really disengenuius phrase now 'im just trying to understand...' because rarely is that what people are doing.

I love Christmas, if you don't that's cool too

Just do you?

If you don't want to celebrate then of course that's your prerogative but it's odd to laugh at people, especially your friends for enjoying themselves.

You sound a little like you think not celebrating makes you superior in some way.

genuine question... are you an alien?

recapture it
go and sing some carols

For me it brings connection with other times - I like the multidimensional bit - things I remember from my own past, and history as well. I like marking the seasons and the cycle of the year. I like the house looking different and dressed up, just like I enjoy dressing up sometimes too. I really enjoy a four day break from the usual, and getting cards from people I don’t often see.

But obviously it’s fine not to do any of it. I don’t get why you don’t though.

If you don't have children then you've not had any real motivation to continue Christmas into your adulthood and why should you if it doesn't do anything for you? Personally I enjoy it because it's pretty and sparkly and provides some light and fun in the season of the shortest days. People make more effort to meet up and spend time together at Christmas which I appreciate. It's not that deep - if none of that appeals to you then don't worry about it. Just like morris dancing, drinking whisky or swinging, you don't have to do it if it doesn't tickle your fancy.

Decorating cheers up the house in the darkest days. Im surprised you haven't got any decorations OP from when your dc were little.

While I grew up Catholic, religion is not something I follow since I was an older teen.

But - it's a deeply cultural event for me, the stories, the traditions, all is actually based far back in pagan believes and I am embracing that more and more the older I get and the more I struggle with long and dark nights.

Lights, the waiting for the longest night, the celebration of winter solistic, the yule log, evergreen in the house. Christian religion took it over and stamped their beliefs on it. It's highly unlikely that Jesus was born in December anyway.

Most of our decoration represents our German heritage, I actually never really found the bold and colourful items here in Britain appealing.

I love giving presents, I always think birthdays are too rushed to really appreciate them.

And - we don't have a big family, I never did the big Christmas lunch feast of extended family. We vistied people on Boxing Day or saw them before. So I am busy but never felt the chaos of hosting or spending time with a big crowd of people. Not being able to take time off also helps.

Life is arbitrary and random. All of it.

The tree and lights etc look pretty and liven up the darkest coldest part of the year. There's no big mystery to it. Having an excuse to meet up with people and have fun, to give gifts and have nice meals....it's just fun. That's all.

I hate to say this because in almost all contexts I loathe the notion that having children means anything superior to not having them, but I do think is far easier to get "the magic" if Christmas with kids because they love it and it's so much fun to create it for them and play into it.

it is a time when people meet up with families
try it op

What we now see as Christmas traditions have long, deep pre Christian roots. There is something very primal in our need to decorate our houses and bring light and warmth to the darkest time of the year.

People deocrate their houses to bring light and joy at the darkest, coldest time of the year, evergreen plants are brought in and decorated in hope and anticipation of Spring renewal, communities take time to meet together and feast as short, cold days and bad weather meant little outdoor work or travel could be undertaken.so there is more down time.

"I just don’t get Christmas at all. Can somebody please explain the point of it?"

You're surely not that stupid that you don't understand the point of Christmas and don't get it all?

Have you been living in a cave your whole life?

There isn’t any magic to it, if you’re not religious.
it can be a lot of fun if you’ve got kids and/or a friendly extended family/frienship group - otherwise, not so much.

Obviously the origins lie in cultures across the northern hemisphere having a midwinter festival. I watched the livestream from Newgrange yesterday - one of those 5000 year old sites which aligns with the sun at the winter solstice. Who knows what exactly was in the minds of the people who observed the sun and seasons and then built it? It was a bit of an anticlimax because of a stubborn bit of cloud which didn’t clear until just after the critical window for the light to stream in - the triumph of hope over experience building something that relies on sun in Ireland I suppose! But still a bit ‘magic’, and it’s the solstice which is at the heart of why we might want light and food in the dark depth of winter.

I personally don’t think grown adults without kids should bother with Xmas- it’s for children imo. Otherwise it’s adults swapping cash and cluttering their house.

So is new year, and birthdays,and Easter and Halloween and anything else really....

TBH I wouldn’t bother now if it wasn’t for the adult child I still have living at home.
Christmas was exciting and fun when I was young and when I had small children, but now I just don’t really see the point. Maybe it will come back if I get grandchildren.

Many people celebrate it as Mid Winter Festival and for ease so it on the 25th rather than 21st. Many people don’t get time off at the same time as loved ones often so get together at this time. Many people don’t the time of year as it brings on bereavement melancholia. Everyone is different.

Once my children leave home I won’t be doing anything apart from enjoying the day with a good walk and a good book.

I think it’s a fixed point in the year that connects childhood to now. Memories, family traditions etc. However without children around the magic is far less I think as you’re not passing that on. Mine are young adults and I feel less into Christmas now than when they were small.

Sorry but I call that ridiculous.

I actually prefer the years before DD and now that DD is a young adult. Inbetween the time was busy, too much going on, too chaotic.
DH and I go to concerts, visit decorated stately homes and European markets. He did most of the decorating this year.

Nobody has to do presents, we stopped with my PIL a couple of years ago. I don't see my decorations as cluttering, I love each memory and meaning behind it.

That’s fine, totally your opinion.
i just put adults excited by Xmas in the same bracket as Disney adults and people who change their house decor according to the season.

I don't get birthdays for myself. I don't get celebrating that another year has gone by. It seems entirely pointless and rather odd and as arbitrary as OP feels about Christmas. So I don't do it.

However I am perfectly capable of understanding that the vast majority of people like being celebrated and having a day that is about them and parties and presents and generally enjoying themselves. So I don't need to start disingenuous threads asking with fa8x naivety why anyone celebrates their birthday.

If it wasn't for Christmas every year a lot of lives would be very dull. I do think non- religious people celebrating is a bit hypocritical but we are conditioned to it now for decades so maybe that's why most go along with it 🤷‍♀️