Christmas - why don’t I get the magic of it?

[ZeroMagic]

Have been meaning to write this post for years.

I just don’t get Christmas at all. Can somebody please explain the point of it? I’m not religious - haven’t got kids. Why would I put a tree up in my house? It’s nuts 🤷🏼‍♀️.

There’s just DH & me. We don’t live near family, but we get on very well with them & they come to stay with us throughout the year. I love having them here but I don’t feel the need to be with them on this particular day. Why would I?

Growing up I remember Christmas very fondly. Nice presents, stockings, lunch etc. But it feels entirely false & utterly pointless for me to put up decorations & recreate that. Anyway I haven’t actually got any decorations - never have had.

DH is possibly even less Christmassy than me.

Talking to pals yesterday (all of whom are well into Christmas) they seem to be having a great time but for me it’s just a normal week. Seeing video of their houses full of baubles & tinsel had me thinking WTAF? Why are you doing this? I know if I’d asked they would say because it’s Christmas. That doesn’t answer anything though does it?

I don’t want to sound joyless & miserable because I’m definitely not. I’m retired, comfortable financially, happy with DH. I’ve got a lovely life that I wouldn’t change but a teeny tiny part of me wonders if I’m missing out by not getting it?

We celebrate birthdays which to me feels much more appropriate. Why would I celebrate Jesus’ birthday if I’m not religious?

I’m not criticising those who are into Christmas - just trying to understand why you are. Particularly if you haven’t got kids & aren’t religious.

Early 60’s - not ND - two grown up DSC.

I think it’s fine that you don’t feel the need to celebrate.

im not religious but I do like Christmas. Remember that it’s really just another pagan festival, something to cheer up the dismal winter days. It doesn’t have to be about the birth of Jesus particularly. As I say, im not religious but I do quite like the story of Jesus though and don’t mind celebrating his birth, even in a roundabout way.

I do think it has all gone a bit too far though. Too commercialised.

things I like though - Christmas trees, fairy lights, carol singers, Christmas dinner.

it’s really just something to look forward to in th winter for me.

I do find it harder to get into it as I get older. DH and I don't have children or grandchildren and as family members start to die it is becoming smaller for us. I find a carol service or church music injection usually helps (specifically Handel) and we do put up a tree, do stockings etc.

We have very few celebration festivals in the UK. Christmas is really the only one that the majority participate in so I like the feeling of commonality that we rarely get. There have been celebrations and feasts in midwinter far pre-dating Christmas. It's a bit of a dull and miserable time of year otherwise. However, it is not compulsory to join in if it doesn't give you pleasure.

Is this a joke? Who the bloody hell are you to say what other people 'should' do and enjoy?

I've always loved Christmas regardless of my age or whether I've had children or not. I love Christmas lights at a dark and and otherwise depressing time; I love that in my line of business, everything stops after an intense few months and everyone gets to kick back and relax and preoare for a busy new year. I love taking life a bit slower for a week or so, taking stock of the year that's closing and thinking ahead to a new year and what I want to achieve. I love indulging in special food and drink when I'm typically pretty cautious most of the year and spending time with family and friends.

I don't see what id childish about any of that.

I kind of agree with you @ZeroMagicabout Christmas. I currently celebrate it because I have DS10 and my parents expect it but I’d actually far rather celebrate the solstice and Yule than Christmas.

Erm, well possibly some of us grown adults without kids bother with it because as adults we still enjoy it? But I daresay someone will be along soon to tell us that makes us childish/immature.

Animals, fresh air, nature is where it's at for me.

I’m not telling anyone what do it- it’s an opinion. Jeeze get a grip

Or has one.

You can’t be surprised people have jumped on your comment. You either phrased it badly or were deliberately provocative.

To me, Christmas is something fun and twinkly to do in the long, dark winter. Sets us up for the long haul into spring. We have a late, long lunch on Christmas day. Children and grandchildren come to us (local) or we go there. Otherwise, no visitors - esp in laws (why, God, why would you?) and we dont travel. Got the whole rest of the year to do that.

How arbitrary and random....

I do it because I get to sit down, nothing left I can do, and the room is all bright and colourful and lovely! I’m working 12 hour shifts at the mo and exhausted. I can’t wait!!

Why not do all 3?

They aren't exclusive of each other.

That same poster already did 🙄

I’m an adult who bloody loves Christmas. It’s my favourite time of the year and was even before I had kids. I love the rituals and traditions and I appreciate the time off work to rest and relax.

@ZeroMagic it is a time of peace and goodwill, if nothing else

I know what you mean. I finally felt the magic for the years the dc were little and finally 'got' what everyone meant.

They're older now so I'm slowly moving back into your way of thinking.

i cant say having children brought more magic to christmas
they brought expense and stress and fun and lovely memories.
but no magic ime

Everything is made up, OP. Your job was a made up ritual, governed by made up laws and the money that pays for your retirement is too just a concept we all agree on. It has no objective existence beyond our social agreement; that's why we call it credit (L. "one believes").

Your DH - the concept of a husband is just a made up ritual - there's nothing real about your marriage except that you decided to do it and other people decided to react in agreed, made up ways.

Even the words you used to write your post are just sounds, made up, and we all agreed they mean one thing or another. And Christmas too is just a thing we made up together and agreed it means something.

This is actually how all of culture works. Isn't it brilliant?

It's not hard to understand that lots of people like traditions and rituals that tie them to the seasons and their culture. Humans have been communally celebrating things throughout history.
Decorating and bringing evergreens and lights into your home during the darkest season is a long long tradition that cheers people up and brings a sense of purpose to the winter months.

It's also quite comforting to just have a period of time where most of the country slows down a bit and people celebrate doing similar things at the same time.

What is Christmas supposed to be about?

Co-opting centuries old celebrations and making out that Jesus was born in winter when he wasn't?

The joy of Christmas for me is that it's a mixture of many traditions and influences and ideas... There's no "correct" way to celebrate Christmas because of this.

Want the tree down in boxing Day, go ahead. Keep it up til "twelfth night" do it... Do stockings, don't do stockings, do Father y, don't do it, open presents in Christmas Eve, open them in the morning in a mad opening session...open them one at a time and everyone watches, waiting until after dinner to open... Watch the monarchs speech it don't, do whatever you want it is all down to you and your family.

No... You brought the stress and expense, they didn't.

If I lived on my own, I wouldn’t bother with Christmas to be honest. I find the whole thing odd.

Decorations finally went up yesterday, can’t wait to get them down.

Well it’s less of a big deal if you don’t have kids, for sure.

pre kids I still got into it though

time off work without feeling guilty as workplace closed - falls after a busy period in my workplace so I’d really be looking forward to it

party season (decorating house for parties)

wasn’t into the gifts and stuff pre kids

Perhaps part of the problem for people who dont enjoy it, is this expectation of 'magic'. I love Christmas, but I don't feel it's 'magical', I find Christmas time lovely.

My love of it is based on very real things that are mostly sensory: lights, rest, feasting, time spent with loved ones and doing fun things.