Christmas - why don’t I get the magic of it?

[ZeroMagic]

Have been meaning to write this post for years.

I just don’t get Christmas at all. Can somebody please explain the point of it? I’m not religious - haven’t got kids. Why would I put a tree up in my house? It’s nuts 🤷🏼‍♀️.

There’s just DH & me. We don’t live near family, but we get on very well with them & they come to stay with us throughout the year. I love having them here but I don’t feel the need to be with them on this particular day. Why would I?

Growing up I remember Christmas very fondly. Nice presents, stockings, lunch etc. But it feels entirely false & utterly pointless for me to put up decorations & recreate that. Anyway I haven’t actually got any decorations - never have had.

DH is possibly even less Christmassy than me.

Talking to pals yesterday (all of whom are well into Christmas) they seem to be having a great time but for me it’s just a normal week. Seeing video of their houses full of baubles & tinsel had me thinking WTAF? Why are you doing this? I know if I’d asked they would say because it’s Christmas. That doesn’t answer anything though does it?

I don’t want to sound joyless & miserable because I’m definitely not. I’m retired, comfortable financially, happy with DH. I’ve got a lovely life that I wouldn’t change but a teeny tiny part of me wonders if I’m missing out by not getting it?

We celebrate birthdays which to me feels much more appropriate. Why would I celebrate Jesus’ birthday if I’m not religious?

I’m not criticising those who are into Christmas - just trying to understand why you are. Particularly if you haven’t got kids & aren’t religious.

Early 60’s - not ND - two grown up DSC.

Nowadays I prefer to celebrate the Solstice with pagan rituals,but each to their own. I dont get any " magic" as such but its nice to see people enjoying themselves and meeting up etc.

Mammals like a break in the middle of winter, if they haven't completely hibernated until spring.
There are degrees of celebration. You can wear yourself sick with all the stuff or just have a few decorations and a modest amount of rather nice food.
I wish they'd have 'The Pride and the Passion' on TV one day over the holiday.

If you don't 'get' Christmas you don't, I suppose.

I'm over it.
I don't believe in god and increasingly feel that having extra clutter in my house is ridiculous. I'd rather be actually outside in nature. Twinkly lights do nothing for me. It's still dark. I want actual light; sunlight. Pink sunrises and sunsets.
Unfortunately, I still have teens, so i have to pretend I'm into it.
I'm sick of hearing christmas songs, although I could happily listen to carols.
I don't feel any kind of magic or joy. I thought the solstice might work, but it's not actually been daylight here for days.
I don't begrudge anyone else celebrating it, but I feel like a big fake.

I think the whole idea of a mid-winter festival came about culturally to stave off winter depression! Christmas is just the current iteration of that. Fine if you don’t need or want it though…

We're not religious, and haven't decorated or given wrapped presents for years, since the DCs were young.
We began to string tiny coloured fairy lights around the rooms a few years ago, which we enjoy very much, especially during the dark evenings of winter.

I see the "magic" of this, as most of us benefit having some light and colour around us at this time of year.
We know we are fortunate to enjoy a festive meal on the 25th. with DCs, which is always very nice, but the busyness of shops, the incessant Xmas tunes from early November, the ads, the pressure to perform and to buy, the stress which affects just as many people as it makes others very happy, is not at all 'magical'.

I appreciate that others in my life, especially people that I know who are v religious, are really into Christmas: baking, decorating, music, films etc...but I also know that much of the "magic" for them slowly disappears when their DGC begin to grow away from them, which brings the level of Christmas happiness down to a quietly sad level of seasonal routine.
If one of the true meanings of Christmas is to give; and one is able, available and inclined to volunteer, genuine happiness comes from donating one's time to helping out at a church or community hall that serves Christmas dinner to those who would not have it otherwise; doing this puts the "magic" back into Christmas.

Christmas Day is forecast to be clear sun here - so there may be a good sunrise and sunset, with the former at a more convenient time to see it than in summer.
we might defer our dinner and take a picnic out somewhere - we do that sometimes now DD is past childhood.

I have just done my last bits of veg shopping for Christmas, if I haven't got it, it stays not got. Haven't gone overboard at all, I'll be making a trifle and mince pies in the next couple of days and basically doing a roast dinner with different veg to normal and adding in home made pigs in blankets. Having seen the shoppers just now in Morrisons, with their long lists, rushing about looking for things they wouldn't even think about all year long and looking harassed to death, I do think some people go completely over the top and unnecessarily stress themselves out!
Don't need a cheeseboard, my cheeses will be going with my Christmas cake!

😂 noted!

No, no! We can't enjoy Spring either, did you not know? We might stumble across some easter eggs or enjoy daffodils that only children can pick for Mother's day!

Well quite, heavens forbid an adult might enjoy a bit of chocolate at Easter!

i thought becoming a parent was supposed to make one more empathetic. Apparently not…

Op it's obviously something you feel quite removed from .
Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus for Christians .
It was used as a date because its the darkest time of the year
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So it's literally bringing light in to the world.

I love it and always have but if you don’t then so what? Just do - or don’t - what you like.

I love the tree, lights and other decorations. I love enjoying it again through DS’ eyes. I enjoy getting together with family and having everyone here.

Oh - and I not Christian, my DH is though (I am agnostic so don’t follow any religion)

Adults on Christmas parties in my opinion are:

1. forced/pressured to go
2. looking forward to a work subsidised night out
3. young and looking for any excuse for a night out.
4. many will also be parents who go home to excited children.

In my experience, Christmas work dos are rarely about Christmas at all. It’s just an opportunity to go out together.

You can totally enjoy a work night out at Christmas and not celebrate Christmas at all in your home/normal life.

It was nice when DD was small but now I don't GAF. I mean, I do buy presents and put up a tree, and I dig some of the Christmas pop music, but tbh I'd rather watch telly and eat Pringles all day. I have no spiritual skin in the game, whatsoever. It feels like something I ought to do, not want to do.

I think Christmas is fun if you are a child or have children. For me that's what it's all about.
As I grew up, I started to not enjoy Christmas and as the years went on actually dislike it but went along with it for others.. Now, esp now in poorer health, I start to dread it all. I detest Xmas songs, always have, they make my head hurt, lol, and even the sparkly lights everywhere does nothing for my soul!

My other half, when sat there for another Xmas entertaining his dear old elderly dad (with my blessing) while I did all the cooking and cleaning, as well as present buying, wrapping and putting the tree up, told me at the end of a few Xmas days that "It's not like it used to be" when asked by me if he had a nice day.

Apart from the obvious annoyance that I didn't just get a thanks, I think he realised that he's chasing an impossible dream and that is to feel about Christmas as he did when he was a kid. It cannot be done.

Easter is my fav of all the holidays. Eat chocolate and a hot cross bun but it's the promise of summer coming that really lifts me. What's not to like? (and would happily wrestle any kid over the last creme egg 😀 ).

Wow so many comments!

To clarify a few things:

*I don’t think I’m above it all
*I’m not an alien
*I’m not being disingenuous
*I haven’t been living a cave all my life
*I’m not stupid
*I don’t laugh at people for enjoying themselves
*I don’t feel superior because I don’t celebrate
*I don’t feel the need to see my family on this one particular day - I see lots of them throughout the year
*I really don’t feel the need to come together & celebrate but if you do that’s 100% fine
*There are things I enjoy - i just like to enjoy them all year round rather than forced to enjoy them at this one particular time
*I have no criticism or judgement of those who enjoy some or all aspects of Christmas, I’m pleased you do!

I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s posts. Whilst it’s clear I’m definitely in the minority, am heartened that I’m not the only one who doesn’t get it.

In particular @MolkosTeenageAngst, @Ebok1990 & @Fruitsherbert you are my tribe!

I’m not at all religious no kids, but I like Christmas, I work full time so it’s good to have time off to meet people, and to be able to get out in daylight! I like the food, it’s nice to have lights up in the house and decorations. It’s a ritual that brings a bit of comfort and warmth. I dislike the shopping, queues and family members stressing about presents.

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but I know other people who largely ignore it, and that’s fine too.

It’s a mixture of nostalgia and wanting to pass on traditions to the next generation I suppose. I would decorate (and have before I got married at 40) whether I had kids or not but having them certainly means I’d never consider NOT doing it.
I was raised Catholic but do not practice now and my children are of no religion, though they did go to a C of E school and are well versed in the story of Jesus. But Christmas means family and togetherness and thankfulness celebrating that if not particularly the birth of Jesus.
Much of my happy childhood memories revolve around Christmas and just looking at my lovely tree makes me smile.
Today my DD (20) and I will be making and decorating sugar cookies! My son joins us tomorrow evening. We get a lot of happiness from doing Christmas related things. It is truly the ‘most wonderful time of the year’!

I love most things about Christmas. I love all the twinkly lights and the decorations. I love the traditional Christmas smells like pine, cinnamon and cloves. Love buying gifts and seeing people open them. Love driving home at night and seeing all the homes decorated. I love the cosiness and emphasis on family.

I don’t do shops though and things like Christmas markets. I try not to buy into the overpriced ‘experiences’ but do enjoy things like the nutcracker. I also don’t get caught up in the drinking/party culture of this time of years. I don’t stress too much about the Christmas dinner and just have a turkey with the trimmings.

i like to keep it simple really with as little consumerism as possible. I think it brings joy to an otherwise dark and depressing time of year.

Same here. We go away every year at this time to escape all the rubbish that goes on: people putting themselves through so much stress, spending all their spare cash. No christmas baubles in our house.

Genuinely, OP, and in the interests of trying to understand where you're coming from... do people really need to explain what's nice about a time of year where nearly everything grinds to a halt so that you can spend time with people you love, and enjoy food and decorations that aren't around for the rest of the year?

I get that you personally don't get much out of it but is it really that difficult to understand why other people do?

You see, I'm the opposite.
How can people not enjoy it?
Forget the busyness and commercialism because people can avoid that.

For me it's, time together as a family, seeking out presents that people want and may be surprised to get, enjoying food—food that you may not be able to afford all year round, being creative in the home with lights and decor.

Walking through town that's actually busy and bustling and gorgeously lit up. Carols and music and the joy of collective singing.

A lot of it is nostalgia too and remembering family time from my own childhood which is bittersweet ❤️

Happy Christmas to you all 🎄

I'm with you O/P - I keep my fairy lights up all year round as I love the sparkliness.... I haven't bothered with a tree this year. I used to love Christmas but find the whole thing very stressful, exhausting & expensive now. I envy those who do enjoy it - but personally it's not for me.
I'll be considering what else I can 'not' do next Christmas.
Each to their own.

Christianity has nothing to do with it. It’s a pagan holiday that has been hijacked and commercialised. I celebrate yuletide so me and DP have a real tree (same one every year, grows in a big pot next to the front door), decorations, and lots of food. We watch our favourite tv shows, give each other a small token gift, and absolutely avoid seeing any family.

No kids, both in our 30s, we really enjoy it. Take the Christmas stuff out of it and make it your own nice little winter holiday at home, it really can be lovely.