Say here what you can’t say in real life - Christmas edition

[Rainallnight]

If you have someone in your life who is driving you mad or making you brim with rage this Christmas, tell them here!

Get it off your chest in a safe space so you can turn around, smile, and offer them a sherry.

NB - this isn’t AIBU. All gripes are correct and permitted.

I will start.

SIL, I am furious that we have driven hundreds of miles with small DC to spend Christmas in your part of the country, including hosting YOUR mother for the duration, only to find that you are not spending Christmas Day with us, AND that you have not yet deigned to pin down a day to even visit. Furious, I tell you.

Asked MNHQ to delete my previous post as it was far too identifying. Suffice to say that I’m not looking forward to spending Xmas with PIL for the second year running, because they are now too old to travel to us, and BIL didn’t offer to spend Xmas with them as he’s spending the day with his new girlfriend instead. I know that DH is very grateful that I'm supporting him with his parents, but I’m still dreading the next few days and all the travelling. Roll on next year where DH has assured me we’ll stay at home for Xmas (though I’m expecting him to change his mind and ask emotionally blackmail us to going to PIL again).

Thank you all so much. Reading this all ready to post about trekking hours up and down the country to see family to be limited to the evening buffet crowd, when i though; why can't we do our own little family meal on the 24th and play nicely with the in-laws and their beige buffet on the 25th!

Copy & paste this to a message and send it to her. She needs to be stopped before she causes yet another young girl in your family to have an eating disorder. Your poor DD 💔

I buy for everyone and their kids, and people keep having more. I don’t have any children so people get away with just getting me 1 token gift.
Bit unfair really 😂

This is hard. DH has informed me that our marriage of 18 years is over, won't move out and is depressed, anxious, accusing me of having an affair (no truth in this) and wanting me to look after him. My only extended family member, my twin, has more or less estranged herself from me which is, I guess, better than her calling me names and hurling anger at me. My friends are all busy with their families. I have two teens to keep the show on the road for and the one night out I was looking forward to NYE probably won't happen because I can't trust DH not to have a huge mantrum as he hates NYE and I can't go by myself as he'll think I'm having an affair.

I'd say roll on 2026, but I have a horrible feeling it will be more of the same.

No we can’t fill the effing fridge with all your fricking canned drinks (DD, home from uni) as we need to story 4 days food for 7 people. You’ll have to make do with cooling one or two drinks at a time…

Though DH will meddle and still find a way to over-fill the fridge and get more of her shitty caffeinated crap in it and I’ll bite my tongue whilst chipping off the ice at the back of the fridge.

To my neighbour
Since you moved in,the communal yard resembles a scene from the clampetts.
You can put your own dustbin out for collection,it will give you something to do as you don`t have a job.Lazy.

Me too. So sorry for your loss

Gosh, I always think I’m a bit of a Grinch but I honestly can’t think of much compared to these!

Maybe “dh, instead of asking me, after 23 christmases together whether there’s ‘anything I can help you with’ every half an hour and telling me ‘Im just letting you know I put all the wrapping paper in the recycling’ etc and wanting a pat on the back you just actually use your eyes and brain and just do stuff that needs doing - and don’t expect praise for it- perhaps even learn to cook and do the Christmas dinner for once”? Thanks!

Ds1 (who is nc with siblings-his own fault. He did something they can't overlook) is coming for Christmas. Ds2 is only one here but is working a lot and has said he will be civil. But I know him he's a loaded pistol and one inconsequential thing and boom.
DH is still faffing on doing pointless busy shit.
Someone reversed into us and we are dealing with insurance and garages and courtesy cars.
The boiler chose this morning to break down so waiting on a plumber.
My blood pressure checked this morning is literally through the roof.

If I could down a bottle of vodka, take a couple of zopiclone and wake up in January then I absolutely fucking would.

Happy Christmas to the four of you. I kind of wish we were in touch and will raise a glass to you all, and maybe to the relationship I thought we had before I found out that from your perspective I was an outsider, a liar, a gold digger and actively dangerous. But good enough to raise the boy solo, huh? Maybe you could text him this Christmas? Mind how you go though, wouldn’t want you to exhaust yourselves.

I am sorry @Windowcleaning . It's really bloody hard.

You don’t have to.

@EponymousEponine I lost my Mum this year too, and my Dad is currently in hospital after a sharp nosedive of his dementia. I've not had a moment to process all that's happened this year, and I feel like I live in Groundhog Day, reliving losing her everyday. How we get through Christmas, I just don't know. Like you, I'm making the effort for my children, but without them I'd be lost at this time of year. Sending my condolences, empathy and hoping for the best Christmas can be for both of us x

I think you may have this NoroVirus Bug that is going around ...

You will not be able to travel and it will wipe you out for a few days @murasaki ...

AND it is very, very contagious and you are not advised to travel and you have to basically be a hermit for a while until it clears out of you ... you will need to do your bit so that it does not spread!

I actually did catch it last month and it totally wiped me out!

HTH

x

First Christmas after filing for Divorce - he has moved in with his young girlfriend (oh how cliche'd) and I will be here with my children. I am pleased he is gone (made life very miserable) but it is still sad that after 31 years of knowing each other, 11 years of relationship and 7 years of marriage we aren't even speaking.

Oh and I would like to tell him that I wished he didn't tell everyone in his circle the lies he has, thankfully everyone believes me, apart from his parents.

I did think of that, but really can't let reasonable sis down. We're going to huddle on the kitchen with our DPs and make the best of it.

To DP, where did you put the bastard sellotape, you incompetent twat badger.

Dad, I'm sorry, I love you but I wish you weren't coming on xmas day as frankly we wanted a really lazy Xmas with just us and the kids in PJs as it was our first opportunity for this in many years.

Not hours and hours of attempting to engage you in conversation, even though you really are the dullest man on the planet.

I dont want to sit and listen to you say how amazing your (fucking awful and common as muck) step children are, when they didn't even bother to invite you now their mum is dead. Those 20 years you ignored me, in favour of them wasn't worth it now was it. Youre lucky im the bigger person.

MIL please don’t spend the day trying to usher DH out of the kitchen, he is as responsible for cooking as I am. Then spend all your time going on about how lucky I am that DH does cooking, washing, childcare when actually you’ve completed enabled FIL so he is beyond useless and you even have to do his passport application for him. I’ve realised we got on before I had the children because you actually saw me as a person, whereas now I don’t remember the last time when I said ‘how are you’ that you actually asked me back. You see me entirely as a mother now with no thoughts or feelings of my own, it’s painful and I’m going to be counting down the hours once the kids are in bed when I can politely retire (10pm for sure, but I’m wondering if I can get away with 9pm!)

No my Grandson is not coming out or going to the pub / for a drive/ hanging out with you... don't care if it's Christmas or not... go pedal your drugs elsewhere and leave him alone... he is doing absolutely great now.

DM: tell DB the truth that you do mind them going away for Christmas as you won’t see them. Don’t tell him you don’t mind as you’re scared it will upset them and they’ll stop speaking to you. You’d bloody well tell me you’d mind so why not him?

DB: grow a bloody backbone and stand up to your wife occasionally. Just because she has a massive family, they do not take priority over the only parent you have. It’s not fair on me to have to have her more just because you won’t stand up to her and know I won’t leave her on her own at Christmas.

To me: stop being so nice and such a bloody walkover facilitating everyone else at Christmas and put your own family first for once. Remember that 2027 is just for the four of you.

Sis,

You treated me appallingly when I was physically and emotionally a wreck aft the sudden death of my exh / children's dad.

You could have turned down my request for help, that I desperately needed, gently but , instead chose to verbally attack me so badly that I was shaking and crying in a cafe full of people,

I have reached out you ( why I'm the one doing that I don't know) but have been ignored for 18 months.

So I'm not going to play along with you "Hi Howmuch, lovely to see you " facade when our family gather on boxing day, Fuck You !

Yep, Xmas is going to be interesting trapped in a confined space with someone you haven't spoken to in a year or more in your case. I hear you. We will survive.