In trouble at work- over a quiche

[Coffeandtoast]

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

In my old office that is sadly no more, this wouldn’t even register as an insult. Anyone who overheard would have laughed. My current office, I haven’t even heard anyone say “shit” and they are all young!

Well OP seems to have hit the spot with most people on the thread I suppose. Then again there’s always been Mumsnetters who find ‘wankbadger’ and FOTTFSOF or whatever the acronym is hilarious.

It seems at first similar to the story of someone sitting on a train and overhearing two old ladies talking about their favourite TV chef. They lovingly talk about the pies and cakes they have made from the recipes. The hearer basks in the warm glow of their homely conversation until one of them says ‘Aye, but she’s a cunt for the butter’.

It’s funny, because it’s unexpected. The homely conversation, the older ladies. OP’s story not so much. Just sounds like someone snappy and ageist getting carried away with herself and losing her temper.

My feelings too! Can't believe people get so exercised by this nonsense! I haven't got the time or energy for that!

Hilarious. I don’t blame you at all. I imagine it’s a one off and you’re not cunt this and cunt that all the time so you’ll likely just have to apologise to them and Patricia. For what it’s worth, she sounds like a real cunt.

How could you put someone on a PIP when the incident involved a Christmas social event and not her performance in her work duties?

Would she need to agree to divide all leftover food equally after every Christmas get-together? HR would need to wait a year until next Christmas to see whether OP had achieved her goals.

If you swear in the office, you are ok with being in trouble!

If you'd said just take the f-ing quiche, I'd be with you. But...using the C word is about as low as you can go.

you are not in trouble because of a quiche you are in trouble because you are find of using the word cunt

I must say I’m rather surprised at how many people think taking the quiche, that you purchased, home is unreasonable. The purpose of office buffet type things is that it’s food consumed in the office for lunch, it doesn’t include dinner at home as well. If there’s leftovers surely anyone that’s interested just goes and grabs a few bits they fancy and that’s the end of it. A formal civil discussion about exactly how many stale triangles of sandwiches each person is entitled to is laughable to me. And anyway, I doubt what you ate from the buffet was more than the three entire other quiches worth that was consumed by others so it’s not like anyone was being left out of pocket

Personally, I couldn’t be arsed picking a fight over some ropey old leftovers in the work kitchen people have been coughing on for the last four hours but I’ve worked with people like your colleague before so can’t say I’m surprised. Just say you’re sorry for the language used but that she was being irate with you and you simply chose the “wrong” words to emphasise how little you cared about the fate of your quiche.

Why on earth would you throw the quiche in the bin? The quiche hasn't done anything wrong.

You’re not. You are in trouble over offensive language.

Why are Patricia's like this?

But then OP wouldn’t have mumsnetters queueing up to say how hilarious she is. ‘F-ing’ makes it plain how aggressive it is. ‘Cunting’ though - seen as hilariously edgy and bonus points for alliteration and contrast with the homely word ‘quiche’.

I know people are laughing but think that sounds horrible. I remember being screamed/sworn at by someone in my team at our Christmas lunch, in front of everyone. In my case I was trying to find my seat and he screamed ' for fuck sake just sit anywhere, its not that fucking hard'. The table had name cards and we were told we had to sit in the correct seat because our pre-ordered meals would be served where we were supposed to sit. Unknown to me, people had decided to sit anywhere and sort out the food when it arrived. It was embarrassing and just plain nasty. I didn't complain, but I wish I had.

It really isn’t

No idea, but seeing as the vast majority of them in the UK are in their eighties now, I very much doubt that they're upsetting pretty young things in the office now.

I sense this may achieve the same legendary requoting as penis beaker and Mexican house thief

Oh, there have been people who found it "hilarious" and "legendary" and couldnt wait to nominate it for classics. 🙄

I’m so sorry but I found the way you told this with the big reveal at the end bloody hilarious - I do hope it goes ok with HR you deserve a medal for just going with foul language and it not all ending with Patricia wearing a cunting quiche Lorraine!

I’ve said up thread that there is genuinely a recipe online for country quiche. I’d go with that.

This has given me such a laugh!
Everyone is gong to have their Christmas limit…
And this was yours, a fine moment indeed.
I hope HR totally understand, too!

To those who can’t see how ageist this is try replacing the word ‘older’ with ‘black’.

‘In then comes Patricia, a black woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything.’

What does ‘older’ achieve here other than a signal to show much they despise them and their opinions mainly or even solely because they are older, and expecting everyone to nod along with that assessment as correct. As, rather disappointingly, people on the thread seem to have done.

‘Patricia’ sounds a bit fussy perhaps but I’d take anything OP says with a pinch of salt given her poor judgment in what she said.

Honestly embarrassing if it does.

Ahh I missed those predictable posts.

Sorry i found it 😁 funny.