Dressed up but bare feet?

[Flowerslamp]

When we visit BF's parents. I've met them a handful of times they're definitely BF's parents, not ILs iyswim. If it makes a difference, I'm middleaged, they're 70s.

On the odd occasion that I've been to their house, I've taken the lead from BF and gone reasonably smartly dressed, in the same way as we would have gone "visiting" when I was a child.

The difference is no one from my childhood had a shoes off home.

I made the right choice re what to wear, his mother was beautifully turned out, as she always is. She was wearing gold block heel shoes with her outfit, which (possibly) are only worn indoors.

BF removed his shoes at the door, so I did the same. Mother didn't say don't worry about it, as I would, so I assume shoes off are a requirement. Father was wearing smart leather slippers.

This left BF in his socks and me in tights, feeling partially dressed. Should I have taken slippers co ordinate with my outfit ?! Or is there another way.

Fwiw, they were perfectly lovely and we have a fun afternoon. It's not the biggest deal in the world, I'm just wondering what to wear on Boxing Day.

As an aside they have under floor heating, which is lovely at forst but by the end of the day I felt horribly overheated, you can't move away from it as you might a radiator and without shoes you have this direct heat on your feet all day!

We don’t wear shoes at home but would for a party.

There are no ‘rules’ for guests, I find that impossibly rude and inhospitable.

In this situation I would have followed your partner’s lead and thought a little less of his parents when they didn’t tell you to do as you wish with shoes as a guest in their home.

MN is full of people whose friends and family routinely bring dog shit into the house for some reason.

There’s nothing aspirational about it, it’s just seen as rude to wear your shoes into people’s homes where I live. I’d never do that unless someone explicitly told me to keep my shoes on. Most people have carpets, or Lino that’s damaged by hard shoes, and no hallway so maybe that’s part of it.

I just realised that yet another thing most of us immigrants seem to do as "meh we just do it" is classed MC 😁
Looked at us poshos😆
Eating hummus, making hoemmade pickles, speaking number of languages and not wearing shoes inside😂
top onepercenters us😂

If you expect people to remove their shoes surely you should be proving slippers for people to wear.
What happens when someone refuses to take their shoes off or doesn't know and refuses?

Threads like this always make me think of that episode of SATC too. I'd never ask a guest to do this.

My (now fully grown) DD’s first primary school in rural Aberdeenshire had an indoor shoe rule. They all had either slippers or plimsoles that stayed in school and then weather appropriate shoes (often wellies) for outside.

I have to admit it was very cute seeing them doing their schoolwork in slippers (which were the preferred option)

I grew up with slippers at school. Even high school. Not in uk. We had changing room where jackets and shoes went and changed to slippers there.
I never knew it was a thing in some places in UK too! I don't feel so odd now😂

Plus one for prefer bare feet to shoes on inside. I have a small, very old house which I've treated to the most expensive carpet and bouncy underlay I could afford. It feels lovely to walk on, and as it is a single colour (but dark) shows dirt like you'd not believe. Life's a learning curve and all that.
Most people are fine with it, those that aren't, I throw out. That's a lie, those that aren't just wear shoes inside. No drama.

Eh? You wore slippers at school?

I think some posters must live in houses with hard floors, clean streets and very little rain.

Here in rural Pennine Yorkshire it rains a lot, the pavements are muddy from splashes from farm vehicles and most houses I visit have carpets in the living rooms. No amount of feet wiping in this weather really gets your shoes clean and it is customary to ask the host whether you need to take your shoes off.

I never ask guests to remove their shoes, but I don't need to as they do so because everyone does it anyway.

Yes. From nursery to end of high school.

And are these typical schools? Were the floors carpeted? I'm intrigued now...

Yes. Typical. Lino everywhere. It's normal where I grew up. Very no outdoor shoes in.
I don't know if they still do it but even in kid's gp office we used to take shoes off then go into waiting room. But that may be gone now. Oddly not in dentist's office.
Mum even has comfy office slippers at work😂

Edit to add nursery had carpets

I don’t wear shoes at home, but would rather let my guests decide and be comfortable, some are shoes on others shoes off.

Personally do refuse invites where the ‘hosts’ are pedantic and unwelcoming and their rules are more important to them than their guests.

I think shoes off used to be uncommon in the UK, but has become much more common in the last 20 years or so. Perhaps as people observed this rule in other cultures and realised that it's much more hygienic.

I think some posters must live in houses with hard floors, clean streets and very little rain.

Here in rural Pennine Yorkshire it rains a lot, the pavements are muddy from splashes from farm vehicles and most houses I visit have carpets in the living rooms. No amount of feet wiping in this weather really gets your shoes clean and it is customary to ask the host whether you need to take your shoes off.

I never ask guests to remove their shoes, but I don't need to as they do so because everyone does it anyway.

My son's school is shoes off, they can wear slippers but most prefer to just be in their socks - rather fun to slide along the polished floors in your socks! Especially in winter when wearing woolly socks. The school is lovely and clean thanks to this rule, though they relax it for things like the Christmas show when the parents are all coming and there would be too many shoes everywhere.

Gosh, I’ve learnt something today 😄 Never heard of that before!

So its virtue signalling here but not in Japan and other cultures? What if a Japanese person moves here and continues their cultural custom - does it become virtue signalling once they cross the border?

And a good guest will offer to remove shoes, especially on a wet and muddy day and the host has pale carpets.

Happy to help😂
Just to add. Not every office worker wears slippers. Most offices don't as far as I know. We had another set of shoes for gym as well 😂 blass the lockers because carrying all that would be a pain.

I remember forst time visiting shoes on household and I froze and didn't know what to do. Like, I cannot possibly keep shoes on, but I also should. The internal fight was hilarious 😂

This is a sensible option.

It just makes so much sense, they can wear weather appropriate shoes - trainers, wellies, snow boots (but that might be an Aberdeenshire thing) and then change into comfy slippers for classwork. Kept the classroom clean.

Aberdeenshire has links to Scandinavia, Doric is still widely spoken which has some words in common, so that might be why it was very much a shoe off place, including in schools.

I only lived there for 5 years though, but slippers in the classroom are one of my favourite memories and something that just makes sense.

For all the shoe on people - does this include your own home? Do you stay in shoes the whole time?

So much better that they can wear weather appropriate shoes rather than having to wear formal school shoes that are no good in any extreme weather and then end up spending the day with wet feet, plus making the floors filthy.

I grew up in England and almost every house I visited was shoes off, and I visited a lot of houses in many many areas. I can only actually remember one house being a shoes on house but it stands out in my memory because it was so messy and dirty, I wouldn't have felt comfortable taking my shoes off there anyway.