Dressed up but bare feet?

[Flowerslamp]

When we visit BF's parents. I've met them a handful of times they're definitely BF's parents, not ILs iyswim. If it makes a difference, I'm middleaged, they're 70s.

On the odd occasion that I've been to their house, I've taken the lead from BF and gone reasonably smartly dressed, in the same way as we would have gone "visiting" when I was a child.

The difference is no one from my childhood had a shoes off home.

I made the right choice re what to wear, his mother was beautifully turned out, as she always is. She was wearing gold block heel shoes with her outfit, which (possibly) are only worn indoors.

BF removed his shoes at the door, so I did the same. Mother didn't say don't worry about it, as I would, so I assume shoes off are a requirement. Father was wearing smart leather slippers.

This left BF in his socks and me in tights, feeling partially dressed. Should I have taken slippers co ordinate with my outfit ?! Or is there another way.

Fwiw, they were perfectly lovely and we have a fun afternoon. It's not the biggest deal in the world, I'm just wondering what to wear on Boxing Day.

As an aside they have under floor heating, which is lovely at forst but by the end of the day I felt horribly overheated, you can't move away from it as you might a radiator and without shoes you have this direct heat on your feet all day!

It's not virtue signalling you weirdo, it's totally normal in most places.

You mean like slippers slippers?

Doesn't that feel bizarre if it's a dressed up do?

It's not typical in the UK, so you do need to warn people so they don't feel uncomfortable

I repeat, the essence of good manners is making your guests feel comfortable and welcome. If, however, you insist on no-shoes 'house rules', this should be clearly communicated in advance to any visitors, so that they can choose whether they want to come by or not.

It's also the essence of good manners to fit in with your hosts and follow the customs as shown to you.
If you don't want to come to my house just because I don't want your filthy shoes on my rug, I'd be delighted if you refuse the invite.

I think keeping shoes on is far more likely in larger / posher homes where there is more space overall. In smaller homes, you run the risk of people having to trample everywhere in shoes.

I don't think I've been in a house where it wasn't normal to take your shoes off. It's really not that unusual in the UK.

I don't think you understand, but never mind. Just please note your own comment about 'filthy shoes on my rug' and it might suggest to you why your manners are poor, if you regard your guests as filthy and dirty. Do you launder your rugs every day?

But it is the custom here? All my friends when I was a kid were shoes off houses, all my family are and all my current friends are. I have had visitors though who've asked and I just say whatever you're comfortable with, I wouldn't insist they take them off.. that would be rude. I take socks when I'm in tights.

Maybe it differs depending on the size of house you have? We walk straight into our living room from the street... So if we didn't take our shoes off straight away our living room carpet would be so filthy.

Nice slippers or even some flat shoes that are only worn inside.

Yes it is! Especially if they have carpet!!

No, but the street is filthy and dirty and that is what is on the bottom of your shoes!!

I don’t know if they still have them but I got a perfect pair of ballet pumps from new look. I use them for visiting people although I think they are actually outdoor, very light and comfy. I think it is these
www.newlook.com/uk/womens/footwear/shoes/black-faux-leather-classic-ballet-pumps/p/920807401?extcam=UK_PPC_PLA_Designer_Core__Google_MT__DV_m_CID_1930161284&ppccam=PLA_NW_g_AGID_126584460436_LOC_9189275_DM__TID_pla-2440058159991&ppcfeed=FIID__PRID_9208528&_cclid=Google_Cj0KCQiAo4TKBhDRARIsAGW29bdm4RfL6CkGsYNMtl1vMv5bjiKnxVxTU1JGP6C5fFRimelxsXCw_WMaAsLFEALw_wcB&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1930161284&gbraid=0AAAAAD2UatOAbftPwX3bzMbfamnKFe9QB&gclid=Cj0KCQiAo4TKBhDRARIsAGW29bdm4RfL6CkGsYNMtl1vMv5bjiKnxVxTU1JGP6C5fFRimelxsXCw_WMaAsLFEALw_wcB

Shows off family and DH brings slippers and I bring socks.

You didn’t have bare feet though did you?

I'm not a germophobe so it doesn't bother me. Interesting that you're happy to live with unwashed rugs walked over by sweaty feet, feet with foot odour, feet with fungal infections such as athlete's foot. Good way to spread verrucas, too.

We’re going to a house party at new year and I’ve bought black velvet ballet pump slippers for this very reason to take with me (as it’s a shoes off house). I got them in my local M&S outlet village for £6!

Some of us are able to clean our floors by various means. I would far rather spend a bit of time cleaning up (not that I've ever actually had to) than make my guests feel I prided my house over their comfort. It's very unwelcoming.

I can count the number of times I've been asked to remove my shoes when visiting someone's house on one hand (not in the UK or Ireland), and people here also - shock horror - wander in and out with bare feet.

Surgeon shoe covers plastic. I only regret not doing this at mils house.

@SouthernNights59 agree I can't believe the point we are at where people buy floors people can't walk on .
And stress massively about it.
And if I was shoes off I would absolutely allow people to wear shoes on social occasions ,special occasions etc because I know that won't harm anyone least of all my precious floors

The voice of reason

You mean those big pfoofy plastic things? Yes, and so elegant. Maybe the clean floor brigade could have dispensers by the front door, and latex gloves lest visitors might dirty anything with their hands.

Edited to add: And whatever happened to antimacassars?

It’s called socks and slippers … and no, there is a massive difference between people that live it your house walking around bare foot and a load of germs bought in from outside, who knows what people have walked in. We all wear socks inside anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ and none of us have athletes foot! You need to go get some cream for that! 🤣

I wear slippers At home and take them to my parents. At other people’s houses I just wear socks. I can’t recall ever going into a house and keeping my shoes on since the 90’s (my grandparents kept shoes on my died in 90’s)

I wasn't trying to speak for a nation! I'm in my late forties, have a very large social network in rural and urban areas and have never once been asked or been in a house in Ireland with a shoes off policy as an adult. I'm also a healthcare professional and have visited different family homes every week for decades- it certainly isn't a common thing here! The only time I have ever been asked to take my shoes off indoors was in a backpackers hostel in NZ in my 20s. I was curious hence the question - I take your point re outdoor shoes and dirt but just presume most adults know how to wipe their feet. I'd have no issue if I knew in advance and could bring a pair of alternative shoes, but the idea of walking around in slippers/socks would make me very uncomfortable visiting someones home. Just my perspective!