Dressed up but bare feet?

[Flowerslamp]

When we visit BF's parents. I've met them a handful of times they're definitely BF's parents, not ILs iyswim. If it makes a difference, I'm middleaged, they're 70s.

On the odd occasion that I've been to their house, I've taken the lead from BF and gone reasonably smartly dressed, in the same way as we would have gone "visiting" when I was a child.

The difference is no one from my childhood had a shoes off home.

I made the right choice re what to wear, his mother was beautifully turned out, as she always is. She was wearing gold block heel shoes with her outfit, which (possibly) are only worn indoors.

BF removed his shoes at the door, so I did the same. Mother didn't say don't worry about it, as I would, so I assume shoes off are a requirement. Father was wearing smart leather slippers.

This left BF in his socks and me in tights, feeling partially dressed. Should I have taken slippers co ordinate with my outfit ?! Or is there another way.

Fwiw, they were perfectly lovely and we have a fun afternoon. It's not the biggest deal in the world, I'm just wondering what to wear on Boxing Day.

As an aside they have under floor heating, which is lovely at forst but by the end of the day I felt horribly overheated, you can't move away from it as you might a radiator and without shoes you have this direct heat on your feet all day!

"I think the shoes off policy is strong in the UK and North America due to the popularity of carpets."

I think the opposite. The UK isn't a strong shoes off country like Sweden is, for example.
It's become more common now, but was rare when I was a child.

I don't think carpets have much to do with it, but I suppose it lessens the need to take slippers everywhere as the floor won't be as cold as tile, wood, lino, etc.

I personally have very ugly feet and I also find feet in general quite ugly. I don't want to see the feet of people I don't know well. It's not quite a phobia, but not liking feet is quite common I think.

I take slippers or wear 'cabin socks' from Seasalt. No idea why they are called that but they are very thick.

We are a shoes off house. I never tell people to do it but it's kind of obvious as we live on a muddy track.

It's never occured to me until this thread that the reason some households are shoes off is due to germs- we are a 'shoes off upstairs' household for dirt and mud on the carpet reasons, I assumed that's why anyone who wanted shoes off wanted it. I simply could not be arsed giving germs that much thought, they are everywhere and on everyone, not just their shoes!

Anyway as for your issue OP- all slippers look ridiculous trying to fit an outfit, even ballet pump style ones in a matching colour are clearly still slippers. I'd wear an outfit that worked with tights.

I think I’d get some nice fluffy socks rather than slippers, either plain black if wearing black tights or some maybe some sparkly ones.

If she's wearing gold block heels she would probably be fine with you wearing shoes. You could always clean the bottom before you go and change into them when you get there if they were concerned about treading the street in

I would probably do slippers/fluffy socks. I don't think it looks weird with smart clothes as you are indoors all day. I definitely could not walk around in shoes all day every day, I even wear slippers around my office.

If I know or can reasonably guess in advance what the shoe etiquette is I will dress/bring slippers accordingly.

I forbid heavily dissuade guests from removing their shoes in my home unless they are obviously muddy. Especially if the guests are not wearing socks. People who are not wearing shoes are far more likely to put their feet on the furniture and I don't want their foot fungus on my cushions.

When taken by surprise at someone else's house, as in this situation, I make no effort to remove my shoes and ask unenthusiastically "Do you want me to take off my shoes?". Generally speaking I am not then asked to remove them.

I have folding ballet slippers in a little bag in my handbag and I also take cosy socks as a back up.

I have a pair of flat shoes that I pretty much only use for this. Carry them with me and slip them on when I take off my outdoor shoes. I thing shoes are smarter than sippers and I think pointy toes look more elegant. Next have a few different pairs.

I wouldn’t expect people to take their shoes off, in fact I much prefer visitors to keep theirs on. I do take mine off in other people’s homes but it feels very alien, a bit Abigail’s Party.

OP since his DM wore block heels I think you can take this as a cue. Block heels won’t damage their floors and will be sufficiently dressy.

What about those fold up and pop in your handbag slip ons you can buy for quite reasonable prices?
Have seen some gorgeous colours and designs too!

I’d just buy a plain grey pair or black , flat lightweight mule type. They will fit in bag easily. We are a shoes off house, most people I know are. I hate it when people come in with shoes on. It just feels rude. Socks or tights are fine too

Have the "shoes off" households never heard of doormats - the things you wipe your feet on before you enter a house ?

I had a job that required me to visit people in their homes.
All classes, all nationalities, all types of properties, rich & poor alike.
I carried a pair of bootees to slip over my shoes if I was asked to remove them.
That only ever happened when the householder was not English.

I think it is rude to ask guests to remove shoes, and always tell visitors to leave them on because our house is cold, also we don't eat off the floor so I don't understand the hysteria, we only have carpets upstairs.

What if you had nice light coloured carpets? Also it’s more comfortable with no shoe

I genuinely didn’t know there were shoes ‘on’ households?

WTF

I was a child in the 1950s/60s and everyone I knew had outdoor and indoor shoes as a matter of course. Streets were very dirty - no one picked up dog poo - and often muddy, more so than nowadays. Houses (especially floors) were cold so you wouldn’t walk around barefoot or in your socks.

I’ve only come across “shoes off” households recently. I’ve known the occasional shoes off home but most people I know would be pretty surprised if asked to remove their shoes.

I’m only 5’2” and if I’m dressing for dinner that includes my shoes. I can’t abide being asked to take my shoes off… I feel very short and very undressed . Thankfully I only know one household where removing shoes is a requirement.

I love these slippers from Moshulu which come in various colours: https://www.moshulu.co.uk/textile-ballerina-slippers-p338#attribute%5B1%5D=39

And they do a version in a range of animal prints too: https://www.moshulu.co.uk/animal-print-ballerina-slippers-p780#attribute%5B1%5D=130

I bought my first pair much reduced in a factory store about 15 years ago and I am now on my fourth pair (lost one pair and ruined one pair in childbirth, they've never worn out). They are so comfortable, look reasonably smart when you have company and they have decent soles if you need to nip out to the bins (obviously don't tell the in-laws that!)

I find this fascinating. I don’t agree that shoes off is a class thing at all.
I cannot fathom why people wear shoes, which literally walk on the dirty ground outside, in their house. It literally blows my mind.
When do your shoes come off? Do you wear them when you put your feet up on the sofa? Or relax on your bed? Where does the line get drawn?

Most people I know are shoes off.
we live in a rural village and it’s often wet and muddy.
we were told when DS2 was little to have a shoes off house - he had bronchitis as a baby and apparently lots of the pollutants particles in the home come in on shoes.
all my friends bring slippers or indoor shoes - usually velvet or sequin ballerinas, or just wear socks, and we do the same at other peoples.

I know right? And not only do they not see the issue with wearing their outdoor shoes inside, they think we're odd for not doing so? Mind blowing is correct

@GlasgowGal2014 i love the zebra print ones. Are they snuggly? How’s the sizing? Thanks 🙏